I barely left the house today, day 2 of the Holiday, but it was sweet anyhow, and it offered a chance to get to know Lan Anh's family better. I'm particularly intrigued with her mom, a handsome, gracious woman of 55 who has seemed delighted to have me as her guest. She loves her grandson, and who wouldn't? What a precocious little dude, extremely verbal and lovable, totally at home with adults, he has the run of the place and is adored by everyone.
Mom's name is Mui, and there was a moment in between the stream of visitors when I got to ask her some questions with Lan Anh translating. One of the main ones I was curious about was the fact that her daughter credited her mom for being a major impetus for her success in the world. In this culture, a disabled woman is usually relegated to a life at home, no marriage, few prospects, but this woman is the opposite of that. When I asked Mui about her role in her daughter's success, she thought for a moment and then came out with a lovely poetic image which guided her.
She talked about her children being like little trees that needed roots, nourishment, and love to produce the blossoms. She saw all of her children that way, and she did all that she could to give Lan anh and all of them the kind of strength and care that would produce a good crop. Of course she is very proud of her daughter, and with good reason. She is the head of a consortium of 200 different groups working with the disabled in Vietnam. LA started our as a staff memeber for the organization and worked her way to the top spot. Now any time there is a 'disabled rights' day, she's the one who is on TV, making a statement, advocating for improvements etc.
Likewise, her marriage to Sinh (pronounced 'sing') was big news. Their love story also made the newspapers and TV, as it was exceedingly rare for a disabled woman to marry an able bodied man. She told me that she had a boyfriend in her early twenties who wanted to marry her, but his parents intervened and wouldn't allow it. Similarly, Sinh's parents were against it, and it took a year for them to relent and see the determination in their son that this is the woman. Now of course, they are delighted in the choice their son made, and are ecstatic to have this grandson too.
Before I arrived, I was concerned that maybe Sinh would be thinking, 'who is this dude coming to hang out with my wife?' I didn't know anything about him, and vice versa, and who knows how things happen sometime? I couldn't have been more wrong. He is a total prince, kind, a great dad, a great cook, loves his family, dotes on his mother in law and is incredibly generous and friendly to me. He can't do enough for me, refuses to let me help with the dishes, is quick with a smile, a hand on my shoulder, he is something very special. Wow!, yet again.
This is my last night here; tomorrow we have a lunch with her uncle, the policeman, and from there I'll hop on a bus into Hanoi, arriving in the late afternoon. the family is worried about me, 'watch out for the people who try to take you to a certain guest house', 'get a taxi right away to the old quarter, where the tourists hang out', 'keep track of your backpack and wallet', all of those warnings. I'm not concerned about it, but I appreciate their advice and care.
I wanted to share my new year song with them, as it is a permanent memory of the time I spent here with them, so after dinner, Lan Anh translated the words and then I shared the song. They loved it and were very proud that Song Cong will get to be shared with my people back home. Her brother in law rolled some video as I sang, and it was just a great moment.... as was this whole unforgettable Tet Holiday. This will be with me forever, and I'm sure that they'll remember the Tet with the American guitar player too...
