I seem to have crossed the threshold of bumming out and turned it back toward something positive. It's a combination of factors, not the least of which is the fact of buying the new laptop, finding my way into Garage Band and starting up the learning curve. Yes, I have the feeling of 'why didn't I do this a long time ago', but oh well, so what. I have carried around the sense that I can't deal with frustration, and that doesn't seem to be as true these days. When I get to a place where I'm stymied by not understanding something, it doesn't seem to bother me all that much. I try to find my way via Google or Youtube or maybe just dining around and hoping that the Mac's reputation for intuitive control would actually apply to me as well. Uh, not so much just yet, but I'm learning stuff every day and starting to stay up late messing around with recording. That's a good thing.
Man I could use some 'companionship' aka taking my clothes off with someone, but there's nothing on the horizon. Maybe just as well, but even at my advanced age of whatever, I still have the strong urge to 'connect'. And just like it was last year, I look around and it's pretty bleak out there, especially in the category of 'age appropriate' women. Maybe I need to join a book group or something... dance class ain't really doing it these days. But yeah, I'm happy to still be dancing, lower back pain notwithstanding.
I weigh 193, which is about 10 pounds under my normal Oregon weight. And I seem to be keeping the weight off, mostly I think, due to the fact that I haven't been eating bread and pasta. In Thailand, I dropped weight almost immediately, and my asthma was much better than here. Perhaps it's due to the lack of wheat in the diet, so I'm experimenting with a semi gluten-free regime. I actually think it's working, and the one time that I just went ahead and ate a bunch of pasta, yep, I was pretty asthmatic that night. Could it be that simple? Hope so, it would save me a lot of aggravation, not to mention medication.
I've talked with Oh several times since I've been back, and it's sweet. Yes, her name is Oh, rather than M, and it feels like the time to make that switch in terminology. The M is short for Manchita, which is her given name, but everyone calls her by her nickname of Oh. She finishes up her job this week, and then gets to rest... and rest some more. Girlfriend is exhausted. I miss her a ton, and I'm looking forward to getting to visit with her on Skype, once she has time to get that figured out. There are plenty of friends in Chiang Mai who can help her, and it will be a great (and free) way for us to stay in touch.
She genuinely misses me, and even though there are probably a million guys who are convinced that their Thai lover is waiting for them and being faithful, in this case, I believe it to be true. So how does that square with my desire to ahem do the horizontal tango? It doesn't. But there is something about 'men are different' that she seems to adhere to, and I believe that I've got the green light. As does she.... And like I've said many times. The odds are totally against us, but....
