I guess I default to 'clever' when I don't have anything going on. Perhaps it's because I have a natural ability to put words together, kind of like an interior crossword puzzle, and it gives me a similar satisfaction to go inside and start making connections and look for the amusing combinations. On the one hand, it's a time waster, on the other hand it's fun. So I'll waste a little time and share some of the stuff I came up with, and then maybe I can get to the thing I've been avoiding.
I started with a little comment, 'I'm not allergic to poison ivy, he said rashly' and it led to a host of similar puns. I guess they're puns for the most part, though I try to make them a little more involved than a simple pun. Some of the others I came up with were:
'Ham and cheese on white', he said wryly
'That's gross', he said 144 times
'I guess I need a job', he said idly
'I don't feel so good', he croaked
'Breast milk is very healthy for babies', she expressed
'I hope I don't get Alzheimers', he said absent-mindedly
'Cocaine is for losers', he snorted
'Need some help with the yard work?' he offered rakishly
'You're no Sinatra', she said frankly
'It's only a little tumor', he insisted
Some others came in from Facebook friends:
'Get a life', he said dead seriously
'That's redundant' he said over and over again
'Swimmingly' he gurgled
'Blueberry or multi grain? He waffled
'OK now cut it out!' he snipped
'I'm outa here', he said absently
'The pastry chef was baked'
When Mike and Peter Martin started writing a lot of responses, most of which were off-topic, I came up with a good line.
'My threads have been Martinized', he steamed. (That one has all kinds of connections and double entendres and attitude) Bravo, Glauber.... (not that anyone cares besides me)
I also came up with a joke the other day after watching the South African runner Semenya take second place in the 800 meters. She's the one who is likely 'intersex' with lots of male genetics, and it's been very controversial for her to run as a woman. It must be an incredibly difficult position to be in and I have much sympathy for her, so it's not cool to joke about it, right? But she showed up and ran, didn't seem that into it and took a second place, almost as if she preferred to not have the attention that comes from winning. I quipped, 'it looks like she mailed it in' ouch... but hey, it's a pretty great line, under the circumstances.
So what is it that makes that original list of quips funny? There are two ways of doing them, one based on the verb, one on the adverb. That's what I do to generate the jokes... think of verbs or adverbs which have two meanings and then see if something triggers my 'funny bone' when I start playing with the meanings. Let me try and come up with a couple right here. Take the word 'crack', like a wise crack. But it could also be a butt crack. So you could have something like
'With those baggy jeans, you shouldn't bend over like that', he cracked.
'Barb is kinda dull', he said pointedly
'I'm not impressed with the Roman bridges' she said archly
'That's quite an abutment you've got there'
'Maybe we should close the windows', she opined
'I hate the taste of yams' she said candidly
'Everyone to the back of the boat!' he said sternly
He was so excited about his hot date that he splurged on a new suit
