Well, talk about getting your chakras rearranged, I made my return to Chiang Mai yesterday and had a multi-layered, ridiculously fun Christmas Eve with my friends here. I had been in a less-than-stellar head space since arriving in Thailand nearly two weeks ago, feeling fairly disconnected, distracted, and basically not happy. Part of the frustration was being in a purely touristic zone where I was just one of the masses of Westerners needing food, a place to stay and whatever else. So the interactions are more or less going through the motions. Show your passport, get your key, order your coffee, speak English and deal with the tourist infrastructure... and with the tourists. And like I've mentioned, if you are judging 'tourism' negatively, it's ultimately a self-judgment. Yep, that about sums it up. 'I am what I despise'
Of course, if I could speak Thai, like I speak Spanish, none of that would be a problem. I'd just be talking to the tuk tuk drivers and the waiters and the old ladies and shooting the breeze, separating myself from the horde. But no, that wasn't an option. I was the horde.
So why is it different here? I still can't speak a lick, I'm still living in English and dealing with westerners, but up here, the westerners are locals, part of the fabric, and I'm one of them, even if only for the season. And it's a mixed crew with Thai wives and girlfriends, work friends, acquaintances etc. It's real life, even if it seems like a fantasy. And yeah, that's exactly what it was last night, complete with music and creativity, thought-provoking conversations (more on that later) and warm friendship with folks who genuinely care for me and are happy to have me in their world. I'm part of something here, something quite special and unique.
I was looking around the bar last night and I knew almost everybody. Somebody said, 'It's quite the Rogue's Gallery tonight', and that was pretty much on target. Lots of laughter, shared history, knowledge of each other's story... J who is a 'grower' from California, great guy, never 'worked' a day in his life, , H who runs a Celtic museum in Ireland, K the funny 'east ender' from London with a great and cockeyed sense of humor, P who someone described as the 'Svengali of the lady boys', a former naval intelligence officer now living out his pension with a different lifestyle choice, M, British, former smuggler, did some jail time in Bangkok back in the 70s and has some stories. And that's only a small sample. We know each other's exploits, we laugh together, sing harmony together, goof on each other... the fellas.
Had an excellent interaction with Oh, who is now just getting into a new relationship. The new guy was there last night, hanging out, definitely checking me out, especially if I had a word with Oh. When I broke up with her a few months ago, (because I had started a new relationship in Eugene), she said, 'It's OK, things change', and she added 'Don't be mad if I have a new boyfriend'. I assured her that I wouldn't. And last night, there was a moment when she was approachable and I said, 'Oh, I'm not mad at all that you have a boyfriend, I'm happy for you'. And she said she was happy for me too, and we both meant it.
It was so interesting to see the guy be in the position I was in the last couple of years, hanging out, waiting hours for your girlfriend to be done with work so you could take her home. Hours and hours. And more hours. I definitely don't miss being in that situation. Makes for a lot of late nights and a nutty schedule. Good luck, pal. I wish you the best. Seriously.
Meanwhile, my Hank Williams fascination of the past year bore some seriously great fruit, as we sang a bunch of his tunes last night. We were a bunch of alley cats, singing harmony, totally rocking it out, with the added twist that the lyrics are all about love gone wrong and loneliness and 'why don't you love me like you used to do' so it was perfect. Kind of like the blues can make you feel better, this was the country version, and it was a celebration of all of it, the good times and bad. The real stuff.... to a swinging country-blues beat. Perfection!
And I met and made a VERY interesting connection with a 38 year old brilliant Brit who is now working in Australia. He's kind of like 'James Bond meets Tony Robbins' and I have a sure sense that I'm going to learn a lot from him. And when I mentioned the 'Tony Robbins' piece, David said that he used to set up Tony Robbins workshops all over Europe and has attended many of them. And my sense was that he is manifesting that work in a big way, and that he is exactly who I need to learn from at this moment... aside from being a new friend. Lunch today... and the story continues. Some Christmas, let me tell you. My soul got activated in a big way last night. It's good to be home. Off to cappuccino at Noi's coffee shop, just another of the pleasures of life in Chiang Mai. Merry Christmas!
