Well, it was time to make a decision or two, since my two month stay was coming to an end in a couple of days. The options were to leave the country, or go to immigration here in Chiang Mai and apply for a one month extension. I was kinda waiting to see where things were at between M and I, as she is a large part of the story for me here. And once again, we found it within us to stay with it, in this case it was her making a move in my direction, which apparently is unusual for her. She said,'I never do this', referring to the idea that once things go south for her, that's it, she's gone. And I've had the same reaction over the weeks and months, surprising myself by wanting to go back for more. Is it maturity or co-dependence? (discuss...) Probably a little bit of both actually....
I got a good tip from an AA friend of mine who saw my behavior in the previous post as classic Al Anon material. He said that one of the things you learn in Al Anon is to never get between an alcoholic and the alcohol, which is exactly what I was doing. (If you love me, you won't have that next beer). Somehow I knew it was a losing philosophy, but whatever ego or self-importance or need I had seemed to win out... with predictable results. Once again I see that when I want to make it all about her, it's often all about me. (the pot called the kettle metal). And M lied when put in that situation, but the fault was not only hers.
So live and learn, and there is a lot of both going on these days. I still think it's worth the investment of time and energy to be here, to be part of this scene, teaching students, playing gigs, working stuff out with M, experiencing the emotional swings (and misses) (baseball analogy). We had a night apart, a conversation the next day, some new depth of understanding, and on we go.... (today:-)
And there is some stuff in the offing, as she asked for and got a day off this coming Monday so we could take a little road trip for the first time together. There is a place a few hours south of here called Sukhothai which has ruins, lots of history and a famous giant Buddha statue which M would love to visit. She's never been there so on Sunday we'll take a bus ride, get a room for a couple of nights and see the sights. It sounds phenomenal to break up the routine, see some new places, rent bikes or scooters, tour around and get to hang out without the inevitable 'I have to work' as part of the equation.
In order to make it happen, I had to extend my visa today, Friday, so I grabbed my passport, some reading material and money, figuring it could be an all-day slog over at immigration. Got some advice from a friend Toby... (when you get there, go immediately to your right to get a number, before filling out the forms etc. Then go back behind the building to get your documents copied and a photo taken. By the time you're done, you'll have saved half an hour or so). I did it, and when I got back, my number was actually being called. Had to race through filling in the form, got it done, signed some papers, paid the $70 and was out of there within 40 minutes. Amazing!. Walked the few miles back to town feeling pretty spry about it all. Got a gig tonight at CU, a student tomorrow morning, a road trip the following day and permission to be in Thailand until Feb 28. Then I'll have a week before flying out of Bangkok, so that will be the window to go and see Angkor Wat and Phnom Penh most likely... though who can say?
