Well well well, lookee here, a free internet place at the airport in Bangkok, sweet! Uneventful flight out of Chiang Mai, an uneventful pass through the line at Korean Air, got some aisle seats for the flight across the Pacific. Took about an hour to make it through the huge line for passport control, one of the negatives of being in a place with huge tourism, but hey, that was uneventful too. I clearly have nothing to say, so I should sign off..... but I won't haha. (By the way, the number 5 is pronounced 'ha' in Thailand, so their shorthand for hahaha is 555. For reals).
It was just a great farewell to Chiang Mai, and part of that is the fact that I left in the evening, meaning there was no lack of sleep, no bleary eyed trip to the airport. Instead it was a very relaxed day, slept in, had my usual quality time with M, had the farewell coffee with Noi and company, a farewell sandwich at CU Corner, and an easy $3 tuktuk ride to the airport. Now the sucky part will likely begin, a 36 hour airport slog back home, but that's just the price of traveling across the Pacific. It's freakin' far.... (and that's the point, I suppose, and why I love it so much)
Sorry to leave the food, damn! This morning, for example, breakfast was noodle soup with pork balls, vegetables, roast pork, delicious broth, served by a woman with a mobile 'soupmobile', basically a side-car kitchen that she takes around town and stops at various places along the way, including the Noi's cafe. So I'll be nursing my $1 delicious cappuccino and here comes the $1 soup lady, and sure, give me two, one for M who's up in the room and one for me. Late nights are often a similar story in that two of M's friends have a mobile kitchen and their route takes them by CU Corner around midnight usually. Delicious food, healthy, varied and about a buck as well. Sometimes up to a buck and a quarter for some of the dishes. Hey big spender....
And in a not too surprising development (at least to me), I decided to leave my Spanish guitar at the CU Corner. I've had it for 12 years, bought it in Seville for $200 after walking the Camino de Santiago. I've had it in Central America twice, in Spain, Portugal, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Malaysia, it's been a great companion, and she's showing her age. The neck is a little out of whack, action is too high above the 5th or 6th fret, and according to my snob of a guitar repair guy, it would cost more to fix than the guitar is worth. It plays OK in open position and I've written many many songs on that guitar, but I just have some kind of sense that it's time to let it go, let someone else play it, not hang on. It can sit on the wall at CU Corner, be played by anyone who wants, just become part of the decor even, doesn't matter to me. I couldn't exactly describe why I know it's time to say goodbye to it, it's something in my soul that tells me so, more a feeling than a formed idea, and I tend to trust those impulses. And how great that the last thing I played on that axe was that recording of Talent Show which is now on Youtube... and it makes me smile every time I see that track. We nailed it, right to the very end, and it's good to be able to see it and smile. Gracias, guitarra, you have been a true friend of my spirit... so many great moments, oh heck, why not recall some...
I loved the buying of that guitar... spent parts of two days going between three guitar shops in Seville, trying out a bunch of classical guitars and then I picked this one, just felt right. And then the next day, I grabbed a bus for Tarifa, a beach town in the far south of Spain, looking across to Morocco. On the bus, this Spanish dude asked to see my guitar, so I pulled it out of the case. If an American dude was checking out a guitar, chances are he'd strum an E chord or a G chord to hear the sound. The Spanish guy hit an A7b9 heavy duty flamenco dissonant chord and he did the fingernails and that flamenco strum. I thought, 'fuckin' A yeah, thanks for putting that energy into the guitar, I did have that feeling.
A few weeks later I was in Lisbon and I met this Polish woman Agnieska, who was having dinner alone. I just went up and asked if she spoke English, and could I join her? She was like, OK, ya sure. We ate, took a walk up the hill in Lisbon, under a beautiful full moon, had a beer, that was it. Made plans to meet the next morning at some museum where she was leading a group of German tourists before heading back south where the trip originated from. I went back to the pension and wrote a really tasty little song, kinda classical sounding, about meeting a Polish woman, taking a walk up the hill, full moon etc. Nice composition, nice guitar, I wanted to sing it for her at the museum. I got there at the appointed time and she apologized and said they were leaving right away, and the Germans were all on the bus, ready to take off. I said, 'Wait. I want to sing you something, I wrote a song about you', so under the delighted gaze of the tourists looking out the windows, I sang this song to my new friend. What's that word where the guy sings the song to the lady? Can't think of it now, but it's kinda romantic and was a classic moment. (and yeah, I could still sing that tune)
I remember sitting under a flowering tree in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica, composing a song similar to Dos Gardenias Para Ti, a pretty melody, nice guitar part, perfect for those nylon strings. Yeah, I could play you that song too. I could play you dozens of songs I wrote with that guitar, they're in my soul...
I took it last year up on the hilltribe trek, because I wanted to be able to make some music with the indigenous kids and people I'd meet up there. That was the trip where I had too much gear, not enough sun protection and I ended up being 'that guy', who one who just about faints and holds up the whole group. They had to fan me, the guide grabbed my pack, I hung on to the guitar and eventually made it, but it was rough. But once I recovered, there I was making incredibly fun music with the kids, getting them dancing and jamming and laughing and it was worth it. And that night, our host was playing some music on a beat up guitar, and I helped him out, taught him some stuff the next day, had a great musical connection as we played Country Roads, which for some reason is a really popular song here. I know it backwards and forwards at this point, I play it with Apple every time we jam at the CU.
And now it will sit up on the wall and be one of Jeff's guitars, available for anyone who wants to use it, not a bad retirement, actually, hanging out in a great vibe atmosphere, surrounded by friends and music. It's a much better fate than to be sitting in a corner in Eugene, feeling neglected by an owner who wants to play a better axe. Yup, it's the right choice and the right time. Que te vaya bien. (that it goes well for you...)
The Grand Finally....
4:20pm, coincidentally, as I sit in the internet cafe with a little time to try and capture something of the last few days here. It's been a whirlwind of good vibes, farewells, parties, emotion and acceptance, and I'm feeling really good about my place in the universe right about now. I haven't packed up my pack yet, but I will do that around 6pm or so, then head over to CU for a last goodbye and then grab a tuktuk to the airport to catch an 8:15 flight to Bangkok. Thirty six hours later, I'll be landing in Eugene (God willing).
First things first, M and I are feeling really good about each other; there have been some tears and sadness, but they've been overshadowed by love and connection. And after the drama of two independent, flawed people trying to work stuff out, lots of pain along the way, frustration on both of our parts, it's kind of incredible to be feeling a pure love channel at the end of the chapter. I think we earned it by hanging in there, coming back for more, 'getting over ourselves' and having some kind of understanding that there is something really special here, so let's not sabotage it by running our normal trips. Let's find something more.
We had an extremely poignant moment two nights ago, lying in bed and reading 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran, a book I've certainly heard about plenty but never actually read. It's about a highly spiritual guy who is about to depart after a twelve year stay in a town. It's time for him to go back to his homeland, but before doing so, the townspeople implore him to share his knowledge with them. He discourses about love, about children, about work, about life, and it's quite poetic and beautiful. We came to a sentence about how you don't really appreciate the depth of your love until the hour of leaving, and we both burst into tears and shared an incredible moment of grief and love. Very healing and purifying emotion, I'll never forget that moment.
Yesterday, my guitarist buddy Scott came by the guesthouse for a farewell jam, and I had the thought to call up John and see if he'd like to come by with his video camera to perhaps record a song or two and put it up on Youtube. These are two of my best friends here and it worked out perfectly, including a great version of 'Talent Show' which you can see and hear at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wUuYlLQCw14
We played the heck out of it, he's incredible, we're quite locked in at this point, and I'm really happy happy to have that little memento.
Talent show is quite autobiographical on some level... (every level?) and I think the lyric pretty much sums me up.
It's a talent show, we hear there's gonna be a talent show
Everyone will have a chance to be a star
No more nervous days, sleepless nights
It's all revealed underneath the lights
Everyone will see how great you are
Give it a go at the talent show
At the talent show, they'll all be watching at the talent show
And if I blow it, everyone will know it
They'll see my mouth go dry, my eyes start blinking
Mind go blank, what the hell was I thinking?
Back when they asked me, I should have said 'no'
I don't think so, don't need no talent show
Still there's a little part of me that loves to play the game
And when the judges say, 'the winner is...'
I want to hear my name
At the talent show, if only wishing would make it so
But that won't do it, won't even get you near
Don't let the world forget you
The table is all set for you
You've got to give it a go
Give it a go... give it a go
And let your talent show....
Last night, Taew, the owner of CU Corner, threw a party pretty much in my honor and she cooked up a large kettle of 'suki', a Japanese style dish (sukiyaki) with noodles, seafood, some beef and vegetables and served it at the bar around 7:30pm, before the crowd arrives. She wanted to do something private, but there aren't enough hours in the week, so this was the compromise, and it was a wonderful gesture. I've had a great connection with her this year and last, much mutual respect, a few hiccups along the way, but lots of appreciation for one another, and this gesture on her part was over the top. Lots of people ended up sharing in the festivities, I bought drinks for some friends and one for M, which just shows that on the last night, all the rules are different. Previously I had said, 'the last thing I'd buy for you is a drink' but sometimes you have to go against type and just let it go. There was much love in the air, much fellowship and 'good cheer' for lack of a better term. What a place and what a crew of people! Hard to believe my good fortune in finding this kind of niche.
And my other main niche is the morning cappuccino ritual with Noi and her friends at the coffee place. It's my first stop every day and there is so much to be said for getting to know a scene over the months, know the characters, be part of the flow. A number of Farang hang out there, complaining about the greedy Thai women, swapping stories of love affairs gone wrong, talking about their exploits, and I'm more or less the voice of 'what the hell are you talking about?'. I like to challenge them to at least examine their comments and attitudes, which I do on a regular basis. I'm not dickish about it, but I do feel the need to throw my two cents in. Truth be told, I'm more comfortable hanging out inside with the Thais, even if I don't understand what the conversation is about. They're nice to me, they like me, we laugh, I strum the guitar, show my friend Eck a few tricks now and again, talk with Noi, try to make jokes, it's lovely. She's a friend and I trust her. And she's becoming M's friend as well. At first, they kept their distance, as there is an unspoken understanding that if you have a Thai girlfriend, the other women will give you a wide berth, else there will be trouble. But I wasn't having that, in this case, and I kind of insisted that we all be just normal, friendly and not play that particular game. And it has turned out beautifully as the two women are now very comfortable with one another, and I see a friendship developing, which is a great thing for M, who can tend toward loneliness and 'staying in her room' Noi is someone of high character and intelligence, she is self made, grew up very poor, no shoes when she went to school, and now she's a successful business owner, non-smoker, non-drinker for the most part, and she provides a stable environment for her friends to enjoy. I think she's going to be part of M's mix, and that's a great thing.
I've got my Buddha around my neck, a feeling of peace in my heart, and a plan for my return. I'm going to go ahead and get a Mac laptop and learn Garage Band, record my songs, stay up late, have something to do rather than lament the distance from my girlfriend. (I'll do that too, of course, but there is something about the tech desire that reminds me of last year's decision to bring my Spanish guitar over to SE Asia). Prior to that, I was really nervous for some reason, what if I get sick, I don't know what I'm doing, kind of energy, but when I decided to bring the guitar, my mind was put at rest. This is who I am, this is what I do, I'll have a friend along regardless of what happens. And two trips and twenty or so new songs later, yeah, it was a great decision. And I had that same kind of mind relaxation when the idea of digging in to the technology took center stage. It gives me a plan for the future as well as a chance to finally put the fucking 'I'm a good musician but don't really know how to deal with technology' whine to the rear-view mirror. I'm mighty sick of that lament, and I'm ready to take some of these commercially viable songs and at least demo them out so I could submit them proudly (or kinda proudly) to Taxi or whatever music search website. Keep the fucking TV off as much as possible, default to music, rather than CNN and Entertainment Tonight... keep growing. (he said with some conviction)
5:14pm, time to head back to the Guest House, pack up and begin the return. It's been a phenomenal trip, a gift, to be sure. Huge gratitude from this side of the world....
First things first, M and I are feeling really good about each other; there have been some tears and sadness, but they've been overshadowed by love and connection. And after the drama of two independent, flawed people trying to work stuff out, lots of pain along the way, frustration on both of our parts, it's kind of incredible to be feeling a pure love channel at the end of the chapter. I think we earned it by hanging in there, coming back for more, 'getting over ourselves' and having some kind of understanding that there is something really special here, so let's not sabotage it by running our normal trips. Let's find something more.
We had an extremely poignant moment two nights ago, lying in bed and reading 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran, a book I've certainly heard about plenty but never actually read. It's about a highly spiritual guy who is about to depart after a twelve year stay in a town. It's time for him to go back to his homeland, but before doing so, the townspeople implore him to share his knowledge with them. He discourses about love, about children, about work, about life, and it's quite poetic and beautiful. We came to a sentence about how you don't really appreciate the depth of your love until the hour of leaving, and we both burst into tears and shared an incredible moment of grief and love. Very healing and purifying emotion, I'll never forget that moment.
Yesterday, my guitarist buddy Scott came by the guesthouse for a farewell jam, and I had the thought to call up John and see if he'd like to come by with his video camera to perhaps record a song or two and put it up on Youtube. These are two of my best friends here and it worked out perfectly, including a great version of 'Talent Show' which you can see and hear at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wUuYlLQCw14
We played the heck out of it, he's incredible, we're quite locked in at this point, and I'm really happy happy to have that little memento.
Talent show is quite autobiographical on some level... (every level?) and I think the lyric pretty much sums me up.
It's a talent show, we hear there's gonna be a talent show
Everyone will have a chance to be a star
No more nervous days, sleepless nights
It's all revealed underneath the lights
Everyone will see how great you are
Give it a go at the talent show
At the talent show, they'll all be watching at the talent show
And if I blow it, everyone will know it
They'll see my mouth go dry, my eyes start blinking
Mind go blank, what the hell was I thinking?
Back when they asked me, I should have said 'no'
I don't think so, don't need no talent show
Still there's a little part of me that loves to play the game
And when the judges say, 'the winner is...'
I want to hear my name
At the talent show, if only wishing would make it so
But that won't do it, won't even get you near
Don't let the world forget you
The table is all set for you
You've got to give it a go
Give it a go... give it a go
And let your talent show....
Last night, Taew, the owner of CU Corner, threw a party pretty much in my honor and she cooked up a large kettle of 'suki', a Japanese style dish (sukiyaki) with noodles, seafood, some beef and vegetables and served it at the bar around 7:30pm, before the crowd arrives. She wanted to do something private, but there aren't enough hours in the week, so this was the compromise, and it was a wonderful gesture. I've had a great connection with her this year and last, much mutual respect, a few hiccups along the way, but lots of appreciation for one another, and this gesture on her part was over the top. Lots of people ended up sharing in the festivities, I bought drinks for some friends and one for M, which just shows that on the last night, all the rules are different. Previously I had said, 'the last thing I'd buy for you is a drink' but sometimes you have to go against type and just let it go. There was much love in the air, much fellowship and 'good cheer' for lack of a better term. What a place and what a crew of people! Hard to believe my good fortune in finding this kind of niche.
And my other main niche is the morning cappuccino ritual with Noi and her friends at the coffee place. It's my first stop every day and there is so much to be said for getting to know a scene over the months, know the characters, be part of the flow. A number of Farang hang out there, complaining about the greedy Thai women, swapping stories of love affairs gone wrong, talking about their exploits, and I'm more or less the voice of 'what the hell are you talking about?'. I like to challenge them to at least examine their comments and attitudes, which I do on a regular basis. I'm not dickish about it, but I do feel the need to throw my two cents in. Truth be told, I'm more comfortable hanging out inside with the Thais, even if I don't understand what the conversation is about. They're nice to me, they like me, we laugh, I strum the guitar, show my friend Eck a few tricks now and again, talk with Noi, try to make jokes, it's lovely. She's a friend and I trust her. And she's becoming M's friend as well. At first, they kept their distance, as there is an unspoken understanding that if you have a Thai girlfriend, the other women will give you a wide berth, else there will be trouble. But I wasn't having that, in this case, and I kind of insisted that we all be just normal, friendly and not play that particular game. And it has turned out beautifully as the two women are now very comfortable with one another, and I see a friendship developing, which is a great thing for M, who can tend toward loneliness and 'staying in her room' Noi is someone of high character and intelligence, she is self made, grew up very poor, no shoes when she went to school, and now she's a successful business owner, non-smoker, non-drinker for the most part, and she provides a stable environment for her friends to enjoy. I think she's going to be part of M's mix, and that's a great thing.
I've got my Buddha around my neck, a feeling of peace in my heart, and a plan for my return. I'm going to go ahead and get a Mac laptop and learn Garage Band, record my songs, stay up late, have something to do rather than lament the distance from my girlfriend. (I'll do that too, of course, but there is something about the tech desire that reminds me of last year's decision to bring my Spanish guitar over to SE Asia). Prior to that, I was really nervous for some reason, what if I get sick, I don't know what I'm doing, kind of energy, but when I decided to bring the guitar, my mind was put at rest. This is who I am, this is what I do, I'll have a friend along regardless of what happens. And two trips and twenty or so new songs later, yeah, it was a great decision. And I had that same kind of mind relaxation when the idea of digging in to the technology took center stage. It gives me a plan for the future as well as a chance to finally put the fucking 'I'm a good musician but don't really know how to deal with technology' whine to the rear-view mirror. I'm mighty sick of that lament, and I'm ready to take some of these commercially viable songs and at least demo them out so I could submit them proudly (or kinda proudly) to Taxi or whatever music search website. Keep the fucking TV off as much as possible, default to music, rather than CNN and Entertainment Tonight... keep growing. (he said with some conviction)
5:14pm, time to head back to the Guest House, pack up and begin the return. It's been a phenomenal trip, a gift, to be sure. Huge gratitude from this side of the world....
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