I got this big black cowboy hat when my mom was out here visiting last June. We went to a flea market (which is her idea of a real good time, seriously) and there was this hat that almost fit me, it's a little snug, but she wanted to buy it for me. I'm thinking it's a costume piece if I ever want to do some cowboy shtick, and I've maybe used it once in the year that I've had it. But I have a use for it next week.
It's the annual Jello Art Show, a one day art installation at a local gallery that has been going on for twenty plus years. My friends, the Radar Angels, are the ones who keep it going, and it's a wacky benefit for the Maude Kerns Art Gallery. People make these outlandish jello sculptures which are usually really funny and whimsical, and a good crowd always gathers. It's our Eugene rite of springtime, as it occurs on the Saturday closest to April Fool's Day, (usually coinciding with the opening of Saturday Market). If you want to get a sense of the show, check out my friend Diane's blog, as she has become arguably the pre-eminent jello artist in the world, I'm being serious. She has gone off the deep end of jello creation and is producing stuff that is mind boggling. Here's the link http://divinetension.blogspot.com/
I've performed at the Jello Show a bunch of years with the Angels, participating in their blend of wacky costumed comedy, but dropped out a few years ago, though we're all still friends. This year however, I get to do a guest spot as the theme is based around the Lawrence Welk show, and there is room for a guest act or two. I've been trying to decide what to do in my 4 minutes, and what I've come up with is a cowboy version of Boom Boom (which is yet another of my comedy/sex tunes, of which there are many). I'm going to go for some laughs and some shock value, as there is a strong PC vibe here that needs lampooning.
Reminds me of the first time I heard Dan Bern (my favorite singer/songwriter) play in this town. He was a headliner at the Willamette Valley Folk Festival and I had never heard him, so I went. Great performer, funny as hell, but what made me love him the most was his song 'Big Balls' which he did with abandon.... to the chagrin of the lesbo-centric PC crowd of Eugene. I laughed my ass off, half at the song and half at the fact of his doing it here. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of lesbian friends and acquaintances here, hell you'd have to, as this town is thick with dykes, and God bless em. But for me, well intentioned humor tends to trump most other considerations, so I come down strongly on the side of laughs as opposed to correctness. (but you knew that)
So I'm going to put on the black hat, jeans and cowboy shirt and sing Boom Boom on a Saturday night in the middle of the Radar Angels Show, hoping for some laughs and some 'Oh My God's'. And there's a part of me that is hoping to find a little personal boom boom in the not too distant future, so maybe it's a little advertisement as well. Come on people, it's springtime, let's get it on (so to speak).
I wonder if I could actually make an album of double entendre sex tunes, because like I say, there is quite a collection. Here's some of the better lyrics
As for me, I'm still a young man
I catch my limit whenever I can
Got me a line, I got a good pole
Take me down to the fishin' hole from Fishing Song
I love your little jiggle, did I forget to mention
When you do that little wiggle, it brings me right to attention
And when you move around the room, baby I like your bounces
You've got the formula, I've got the fluid ounces
Let's put them both together, honey, I can hardly wait
It's time to Jellabrate from Jellabration
Boom Boom hour after hour
Boom Boom under the shower
Boom Boom just like the younger days
Boom Boom oh baby let me count the ways
Boom Boom you say you love me
Boom Boom climb on above me
Come on up to my bedroom
Everybody needs a little boom boom boom from Boom Boom (not too double entendre)
Saw this girl, oh what a girl, she looked like an ingenue
I got up the nerve to walk up to her, ask her for a rendezvous
I said, come on baby my belle amie, we'll go to my chateau
Drink a little wine, do a little dance
And I'll go down like Jacques Cousteau from Mardi Gras
I don't know how they do it, so hot but still so cool
They never stop when they get to it, I think they went to finishing school
Swedish girls are a bit unsteady, Russian Girls are just a bore
Finnish girls are always ready, they're the ones I'm coming for
from Happy Finnish Girls
Truth be told, and it be, it's kind of depressing to read all that when I'm not having any boom boom action. Would I trade it all in for some sweet love? Uh no, I wouldn't, but hey, it's worth considering, and my brain continues to search out the stuff that makes me laugh, even if it doesn't make me laugh at the moment... Oh well.
