So I've been on the road for a month now, and now that I'm pretty firmly ensconced in Chiang Mai, the first thing that comes to mind is that it doesn't feel like traveling at this point. The first few weeks, yeah, different places, different scenes, crossing borders, looking for lodging, but now, it's more like I'm a snowbird who has landed in his winter retreat. Might as well be Scottsdale... no, that's not true, but there's definitely a comfort level and a lack of adventure that's taking over now.
Which isn't a bad thing, mind you, merely different, and I guess that it's not the first time I've decided to stick somewhere and go deeper, rather than pack the pack day after day in search of the new. First time I went to Costa Rica, I had heard about this place called Montezuma on the west coast that was some kind of magnet for the 'international freak set' (in which I fit in quite comfortably). I made it my first stop, and it was my last stop as well that time around. Hell it had everything, cheap lodging, interesting people, a phenomenal waterfall ten minutes walk away so I just hung out, made friends, made music on my accordion (no less), and that was my trip, and it was awesome. Hang on, that's not exactly true, I did more traveling than that, come to think of it, but the majority of the time was there. Next time I went back to CR I left the accordion behind which made it easier to get around, and I had a guitar with me. (same one I've got on this trip, it's my road axe and it's seen some stuff).
But the point is that even though there are many adventures that I'm missing by staying in one spot, there's a lot to be said for getting to know a place more intimitely, so that seems to be the plan for this period of time. And the delight is that I still have three months to be in Asia, so there is time for plenty of wandering about. It'll all turn out how it turns out, and I'm not concerned in the slightest. For now, I'm here, I'm digging it immensely, so there's absolutely no rush to be anywhere else. Even if there's that little voice that says, 'hey man, your friends are trucking through Burma or cruising the temples of Angkor Wat in Cambodia'. Me, I'm happy as a clam here in Chiang Mai. Question, who ever determined that clams were happy?
I had an interesting interaction this morning at the coffee place around the corner from Royal Guest House where I stay. I go for my cappucino every morning and have been telling the owner that I'm gonna take my first class in Thai, and next time I order coffee, I'm doing it in her language. So I showed up this morning all ready with a sentence or two, and she wasn't there. A different person was. And I said my piece and she understood and made the drink. And I asked for a little sugar and she understood and helped me with the pronunciation. A tiny little interaction like that, yet it felt huge on some level, at least for me. Because for the first time, I took a step in the direction of the culture and away from being one more Farang on holiday who doesn't give a shit. There was something in her interaction back to me that was different. She was helpful there was just a different feel to it, some kind of respect that went both ways. It's a really small thing that's a really big thing somehow.
It brings up a conversation that I had last night with John and his partner Kui (pronounced key) when we were out for dinner. I was John's guest as he was treating me to thank me for being part of his big party and for writing that song for them. (we recorded it and he put it up on Youtube if you're interested....)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzJKFNrgFnc&feature=youtu.be
The subject was about the confusion about the interactions that take place between Farang and locals. I said that if I was a Thai guy, I'd be pissed off that there were all these foreigners coming in to 'buy the women' for an hour a few days, whatever. There's something tawdry about it, very tawdry, similar to the feeling I'd get after going to a strip club (very rarely, mind you) and then being out on the street and expecting the women I see to start taking off their clothes. There's a jaded thing that happens when you become desensitized, and I was wondering about how that manifests over here. Kui was animated in her response. She hates the Farang, she hates when they hit on her and expect her to be someone they can buy. She's a classy woman, beautiful, educated, owns her own business and is anything but one of 'those girls', yet she is often treated like a commodity. And naturally she's got a lot of feeling about that.
John's point was that 90 percent of the foreign men here are crass like that, and it's up to the 10 percent who are respectful to represent well, learn the language, show some class, balance the scales as much as possible. It makes for a lot of confusion and conflicting drives inside of me, because I'm in the 10 percent (I hope) but there's a part of me that's definitely in the 90 as well, in a respectful way of course, but damn, I've had such a lousy year of intimacy and my body is in need of serious attention, sorry, it's true, so there's a lot to try and figure out.
For a certain part of the population, Farang are the quarry, we're in great demand, for the money, for the possible ticket to an easier life, so there are women out there who would love to get my attention, as it were. It's a nice position to be in, or is it? That's the question and I don't sense a simple answer. For now, I'll be very happy with some great Thai massage and continuing to swim, make music, interact with my friends, read and write. And the rest will probably take care of itself.
Tonight I'm gonna go to a tango class, believe it or not. John says there is a beginning class that's just gotten underway and I should DEFINITELY come. I'm dying to dance and even though it's been a long time since I did tango, and I don't have any dance shoes here, I'm going and I'll dance in my socks, meet some new people, have a new experience. Before that I have a date with this guy Toby, who is a brilliant linguist, (yes, Soberman, he's cunning) speaks over a dozen languages and we've made a good connection at the local hangout. He's gonna show me some places that do real Thai massage, (not 'do you want me to be your girlfriend' massage) and I'll get some language tips from him as well. He's coming by my place in 45 minutes and we'll go from there.
Feeling lucky to be here...
Language School
What a blast to finally make it to my first class in Thai language. It doesn't hurt that the teacher is a gorgeous woman who smiles easily and has a sense of humor and of style, and oh yeah, she's a good teacher too. There are 5 of us in the class, everyone probably in their 50s and up, and I got a great vibe from the first session. I think this kind of thing is right in my musician's wheel house, having to listen carefully and try to duplicate what I'm hearing. Some of the sounds are peculiar to our normal way of expressing, but I'm gonna practice and see what I can accomplish in a short amount of time. Very psyched by the first two hour session.
And in a similar way, I've been feeling so blessed by music lately. Yesterday I had a two hour slot with nothing on the agenda, and had a hankering to try and come up with something new, the next tune as it were. Grabbed the guitar, messed around for a bit to no avail, then tried a new tack. Just singing something, singing a melody that came into my head. Something showed up more or less instantly, as if those melodies are just floating around out there (which they are apparently), and fortunately, I have the skill to put some chords to it. It was just a starting point, a little jazzy thing in a mid-tempo, nothing too out there. So I lay in the chords and get comfortable with that opening section.
Then it's a question of finding a bridge that is different, makes sense, feels natural etc, and it's pretty much a puzzle at that point, seeing what fits, both mathematically and artistically, and damn, that is a pleasurable experience for the likes of me. The bridge I picked kind of reminds me of a Billy Joel move, at least at the beginning, and then I take it through a few modulations a la (How High the Moon), and finally comes the part where I have to craft a turnaround that gets me back to the opening motif. And that's where all of the Tin Pan Alley style knowledge comes to the fore, because at this point I can get from a point A to a point B in any number of ways; it's just a question of finding the one that feels right. I made a few passes at it and then settled on a turnaround that sounded good and voila, a tune is born.
It kind of brings up that notion of 'freedom' emerging from rules and discipline, because it's very liberating to have the skill set which allows me to navigate around music in a way that sounds good and makes sense. Yeah, it's been done before, by the likes of Gershwin and Porter and Berlin and all those cats whose craftsmanship created the 'American Song Book' which is where I feel most comfortable. Add some good words and you've got something that people are drawn to, can sing along with, (post on their Facebook etc). I do feel blessed to be able to participate on the level that I've achieved. I haven't mastered a ton in my life, but in this area, can I say I'm a master songwriter? I think so. And of course in saying that, I instinctively cringe against the folks who would call me egotistical or worse. Hey whatever... I'm not wanting to lord it over anybody. I'm just grateful to be able to keep doing it and finding new wrinkles. It doesn't seem to run out of steam...
I had a very sweet interaction with M for the last two days, as she got an extra day off due to the King's birthday yesterday. There is a lot of love there and some sadness as well because it doesn't seem possible that we are going to be all that for each other. Different life styles, different histories, different cultures and all, I have a tremendous empathy for her; she had a really difficult childhood and her adult life is no picnic either. She feels very much alone, so the fact that she goes out drinking with her friends after work, has a lot to do with not wanting to go and stay alone in her crappy apartment. She feels like she doesn't have friends or a community, save her drinking buddies, and my heart does truly ache for her. And for myeelf probably too, because I don't think I have the wherewithall to 'save' her and make it all better. I know my history and my tendencies, and I'd be a bad gamble, so like I say, there was some sadness along with the beauty. Now she's back into her work schedule so I won't be hanging with her until perhaps next weekend. I just don't see myself doing the late night, wait for M,3am crawl this year. But I'm really glad that we connected. It was some kind of confirmation of the fact that yeah, it's a real connection not just a physical thing, though God knows, that is pretty compelling stuff. (Good to be back in Thailand, my body appreciates it on a lot of levels).
And in a similar way, I've been feeling so blessed by music lately. Yesterday I had a two hour slot with nothing on the agenda, and had a hankering to try and come up with something new, the next tune as it were. Grabbed the guitar, messed around for a bit to no avail, then tried a new tack. Just singing something, singing a melody that came into my head. Something showed up more or less instantly, as if those melodies are just floating around out there (which they are apparently), and fortunately, I have the skill to put some chords to it. It was just a starting point, a little jazzy thing in a mid-tempo, nothing too out there. So I lay in the chords and get comfortable with that opening section.
Then it's a question of finding a bridge that is different, makes sense, feels natural etc, and it's pretty much a puzzle at that point, seeing what fits, both mathematically and artistically, and damn, that is a pleasurable experience for the likes of me. The bridge I picked kind of reminds me of a Billy Joel move, at least at the beginning, and then I take it through a few modulations a la (How High the Moon), and finally comes the part where I have to craft a turnaround that gets me back to the opening motif. And that's where all of the Tin Pan Alley style knowledge comes to the fore, because at this point I can get from a point A to a point B in any number of ways; it's just a question of finding the one that feels right. I made a few passes at it and then settled on a turnaround that sounded good and voila, a tune is born.
It kind of brings up that notion of 'freedom' emerging from rules and discipline, because it's very liberating to have the skill set which allows me to navigate around music in a way that sounds good and makes sense. Yeah, it's been done before, by the likes of Gershwin and Porter and Berlin and all those cats whose craftsmanship created the 'American Song Book' which is where I feel most comfortable. Add some good words and you've got something that people are drawn to, can sing along with, (post on their Facebook etc). I do feel blessed to be able to participate on the level that I've achieved. I haven't mastered a ton in my life, but in this area, can I say I'm a master songwriter? I think so. And of course in saying that, I instinctively cringe against the folks who would call me egotistical or worse. Hey whatever... I'm not wanting to lord it over anybody. I'm just grateful to be able to keep doing it and finding new wrinkles. It doesn't seem to run out of steam...
I had a very sweet interaction with M for the last two days, as she got an extra day off due to the King's birthday yesterday. There is a lot of love there and some sadness as well because it doesn't seem possible that we are going to be all that for each other. Different life styles, different histories, different cultures and all, I have a tremendous empathy for her; she had a really difficult childhood and her adult life is no picnic either. She feels very much alone, so the fact that she goes out drinking with her friends after work, has a lot to do with not wanting to go and stay alone in her crappy apartment. She feels like she doesn't have friends or a community, save her drinking buddies, and my heart does truly ache for her. And for myeelf probably too, because I don't think I have the wherewithall to 'save' her and make it all better. I know my history and my tendencies, and I'd be a bad gamble, so like I say, there was some sadness along with the beauty. Now she's back into her work schedule so I won't be hanging with her until perhaps next weekend. I just don't see myself doing the late night, wait for M,3am crawl this year. But I'm really glad that we connected. It was some kind of confirmation of the fact that yeah, it's a real connection not just a physical thing, though God knows, that is pretty compelling stuff. (Good to be back in Thailand, my body appreciates it on a lot of levels).
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