I'm allegedly back 'home' in Oregon, and if home is where the heart is, uh, not so much. I kinda gave myself until today to veg out, get healthy, get re-calibrated to life in the US, so here on Monday, I aim to stock up on some supplies, make some inroads into the work zone that is my living room, get a microwave set up, take a trip to the Apple Store to try out some computers, get a work out in.
The reason my house is a disaster is because of a kitchen remodel that went over the estimated time frame. Everything is cleared from the shelves and closets into the living room and the kitchen is without stove and dishwasher and counter tops. It's still probably a week until full usage, but there is stuff that I can do to make the scene more livable...(starting today, right?)
After a lovely couple of days of spring like weather, Oregon is into a heavy storm sequence with lots of wind and rain in the foreseeable future. That's OK, I can't miss all of the winter, (or can I?). Meanwhile back in northern Thailand, the smoke and pollution are scary due to field burning, forest fires etc and it sounds awful, so there's a part of me that's OK with being in the rain. (for a while)
I miss Oh, (that's the name that M goes by, a nickname really, but it's what everyone calls her, me included). We left in very good form, as is the love channel was what remained after quite a bit of struggle. Must have been some kind of test, sure felt like it, and of course there's no panacea, and the odds are surely against us, but it's still nice to know that there is someone who loves me and wants to be with me and the feeling is reciprocated. I'll be content with that knowledge.
I can't really tell how I'm 'doing' as I took the opportunity to get lost for a few days into a haze of smoke, piano playing, keeping the curtains drawn, sleeping odd hours, reading, writing and watching some television. But last night I arrived at the now familiar point where I have to take the last bud and flush it down the toilet, not give myself the irresistible temptation to fire it up once again... as if I could refuse it when it's around. Seems like I ought to be able to, but there's no way in hell, at least as I'm presently constituted, so I have to do the flushing ritual, like so many times before. Good... gone...
Ya know, it's 5:45 in the morning, no traffic to speak of, maybe it's time to drive cross town to the Winco and get some supplies, bring the list I've started, and go ahead and dig in to the reality that I'm here in Eugene, let's make something of it. OK then, shower, drive, resupply, straighten...(the house, but hey, whatever works) straighten out everything...
Big wind outside the window, big wet wind. My back is perhaps rounding into shape? (he wondered hopefully). I haven't been needing any ibuprofen, a little bit of numbness in my right arm, lower back less than lithe, but things are seeming to get better...I'll make it to a zumba class this afternoon, get a sweat in, check out the 'talent', keep on moving forward.
Oh has called me twice since I've been back, they found her replacement at work and she is training her in advance of her departure by the end of the month. Ch ch ch ch changes... Good for her, I hope that she can turn the opportunity into something great. I hope that I can do the same...
