Big day in Chiang Mai yesterday, beginning at 8am when M and I were awakened by a call from her sister. We had gotten to sleep around 4am, so yeah, it was a little early, but her sis called to remind her that it was Chinese New Year, and that she should get herself to the Chinese temple to make an offering, light some incense sticks and say some prayers. They come from a large Chinese/Thai family in Bangkok (10 children, M was number 9), and this is a day to remember the past, connect with the ancestors etc. So off we went.
But not before a little morning cappuccino with Noi, a little coffee visit with my friend Harris and his sister Rachel who just showed up, but soon we were on our way. We walked over to Chinatown, which is the location of the big market area about a mile to the northeast of us. The place is always buzzing, and even more so during the new year. Many vendors were set up in the street, red lanterns and banners were hung from wires and buildings, firecrackers were going off, and M tells me that the firecrackers are a way to signal to the ancestors that we're thinking of them, and please think of us too from the great beyond.
First stop was a street jeweler, because she had bought me a Buddha pendant and wanted him to place it in a clear locket that I could wear around my neck. We chose one, and I picked a beaded chain to hang it from, then the jeweler put it together for us. What a lovely gift! I love it and plan to wear it regularly. Feels good around my neck.
We came to the Chinese temple, canned music playing, lanterns waving in the breeze (and the electric fan), smoke everywhere as part of the ritual is to light incense and offer it to a number of different altars which are set up. We bought some incense, removed our shoes and went altar to altar, getting down on our knees, hands in prayer position, asking for safety and protection, and good things for the coming year. M made a donation to the fund that provides assistance to those in need, and we made our exit in about twenty minutes time. (a lovely way to begin the day, yes?)
One of the traditions of the holiday is to buy some new clothing for the new year, and I was delighted to take her on a little shopping spree. Girlfriend does like to shop, she's got a good eye. But after a certain point, I have this goof of shielding her eyes as we're walking through the market (otherwise it will be hours and hours:-). I bought her a pair of jeans, and a couple of new tops, and she was very appreciative. It was really a sweet way to begin the year.
Last night we went back to Chinatown to have some food and see the dragon dancing and climbing the tower. For M it was a total flashback to her childhood, as she is so busy these days that she rarely gets to experience much of Chinese culture. But since new year came on her Sunday off, we got to celebrate it big time. We bought some Chinese food (nothing like 'Chinese Food' in the US, by the way). We shared a thick soup containing mushrooms, bamboo shoots, and something which had the consistency of whale snot, kinda gooey and chewy, maybe a tofu product of some sort. It was all real tasty. And then a spicy papaya salad and these delicious sweet rice concoctions with pork, egg, mushrooms, peanuts and other goodies, all wrapped in a banana leaf. Serious comfort food, Chinese style, and M was telling me how her mom made the best ones of these ever.
The only negative on the day was that at the temple she grabbed a fortune card and said that the numbers were bad, and that her happiness now will be short-lived with sadness to follow. (and as anyone in a relationship with me can tell you, that could be an accurate prognostication). So yeah, that's a little damper on the day, and I'm trying not to give it a lot of credence, and of course the more I would try, the more true it seems to be.... Ah well, it's just some numbers on a piece of paper, right (he said with zero conviction).
But there was even bigger news in the 8am call from her sister. This is a sister who lives outside of Bangkok and is the only family member who M is connected to. (I don't know her name, or can't remember it). This sister never married, no kids, was the main caretaker for the mom when she got sick and eventually died. Sister is having some mobility problems, finding it difficult to walk and M has been wondering if she needs to change her life and go care for her. The sister's news is that she wants to sell her place in Bangkok and relocate to Chiang Mai... (to take care of M, ironically). M is 'alone with no one to take care of you' according to the sis. She has money and wants to buy a place, have a little business that she and M can operate, and she wants to do it soon.
For me this is a big Wow! Somehow I felt that it was up to me to help her get out of the bar gig. She is working very hard, it's not the healthiest lifestyle, being around drunks all the time, and I see that it needs to change, but how to make it happen? Suddenly I can see a way for her to transition into the next phase, and there are so many things that are right about it. She needs family, feels alone, wants to take care of her sister, needs some healing from what sounded like a brutal upbringing, and here comes her older sister with a New Year's Day plan. I think it's momentous, and I'm very happy about it. (and also about the fact that it's not up to me to initiate the change... I don't think I have it in me to be THAT person... But I can be this person.... Happy New Year (again)
