I just spent the past hour or so working on some piano stuff, actually practicing, although like most things in my life, it's not the most consistent or strategic form of practice. My style is to play music, try to inspire myself, not with a highly disciplined approach (that would certainly yield better results, if one were to operate that way), but I'm seemingly oriented toward a more 'flit around' approach. (insert joke here).
And at the moment, I'm not really interested in trying to change that, because that would imply that there's something wrong with me. Of course, there is plenty wrong with me, but there's plenty right also, so I feel like hanging out there for awhile. And one of the things that is clearly right is this ability to make music come alive in the moment, like I've just been doing for the past hour.
It's kind of a miracle to tap into that force, to string some chords and melodies together, add a perky rhythm, and it's party time. There's a deep mystery underneath the happy sounds, and I'm blessed to be able to visit that place pretty much whenever I want to. One of the nicest compliments I ever received was from a woman who I met on a camping trip in the Washington Cascades. The group was partying hard (once the kids went to sleep) and we were making hours of music around the campfire, making up songs, cracking each other up, having a ball. She said to me, 'the chemistry changes when you play music'. She said it in comparison to when most people pick up a guitar and play a singalong. We know that scene, sometimes it's fun, sometimes not, just a guy and a guitar.
When I play, it's more of an incantation then a song. I do it for some deeper reason than just singing a song start to finish. I think of it as an invitation, maybe an initiation, because we are entering into sacred time and space every time we strap on. That's how I feel about it. And it's not about the 'beauty of the music' or the quality of the performance. That's for other people to pursue. I'm into the moment, into the .... what's that word that I can't think of? It's like when the Catholics line up to eat the wafer. It's not a consecration, but it's a word like that, I think it starts with a C.
We have the potential for the deepest kind of sharing when we enter into the music place. That's why I often will stop a song in the middle, have people fill in the missing words, invite their voice into the moment, so that suddenly, music isn't just another thing that we do for a few minutes, it's something that's totally live and unpredictable and possibly magical. That possibility is always present, like it is everywhere in life if we are attuned. Me, I get attuned in a musical way, that's my metier and I rhymed it that way. OK?
I'm still trying to think of that word, and I'm getting closer. It's the same word that is the agreement between Abraham and God. It's the same word as the agreement between Jews and the creator to circumcise their little boys at the age of 8 days because it represents that 'C word' between them. Do I have to Google it? No, I'll get it, and in the meantime I'll get some mental exercise of trying to root it out of my brain. (Hey, it's Monday and I don't do the Monday crossword, so I'll get the same stimulation this way). It's more than a collaboration.... it's a C C C what the fuck is it? (he said jovially) It's not a congress... OK let's define it, maybe that's more important than the word itself (he said, hopefully, trying not to think about if this is the first hint that he might be slipping into dementia because he can't think of a word)
I'm talking about a process of giving between people, in which the magic only happens when everyone contributes. It's one of those situations where the whole is more than the sum of the parts. When the music is really on, when the chemistry is really altered is when there is an unspoken sense of wonderment and magic and 'the moment'. I always want to come back to that concept. It's that indescribable, holy place outside of time and space. It's the 'moment'. That's where I have my closest 'God' experiences.
And I couldn't stand not knowing the word anymore, so I Googled the term Brit Mila which is the Hebrew expression for circumcision. And the word is 'Covenant'. Let's look that one up, senor Google. Aside from the legalistic meanings about a solemn agreement between two parties to do such and such, there is this more prosaic meaning that is the fifth one down the list:
(Biblical) God's promise to humanity after the Flood, symbolized by the rainbow.
I like the rainbow in there, as that feels akin to what I'm attempting to describe. When I do music, the intention is to make that sonic rainbow, but it only happens when there is some kind of tacit agreement that we are gonna go for it, not be cynical, not know all the answers, but be open to the magic. That's my invitation when I play, and I wouldn't have the temerity to call myself a shaman, I don't know enough about that (and I'd probably blow the training), but I do have some of that energy inside me that comes out in the musical moment.
OK blah blah blah, enough of that chatter. The real thing I want to get to is a new song that I've been thinking about for a few days, and got seriously started on today. It's called 'Song and Dance Man' and it's yet another of the old time swinging Americana grooves that I adore. I realized a few days ago that what I've become is a 'song and dance man', for good or for ill. I had that flash after spending Saturday night dancing with my friend Joanie down at the Vets Club. We've been doing it (dancing) for decades now, and are very comfortable with one another. She is such a tremendous friend, a great dancer and we have a ton of fun on the dance floor. And I danced a dance with a few other women as well, because at this point in my life, I know how to partner dance and it's great to be able to lead someone on the floor who doesn't really know how to dance, is very nervous about it, but she can have a good time because I know how to make her comfortable, let her feel the music and just have fun with it.
And as I was thinking about it, I realized that yeah, I've got a lot of hours into dancing, both in dance class and in the clubs. I'm no great dancer by any means, but I'm fun to dance with, and that's enough for me. It's a social skill like being a good conversationalist (check), and it gave me the thought that Holy Crap, the best definition for me is 'Song and Dance Man' with all that the term implies. I'm not entirely sure what all is implied in that old expression, but I have a sense of it, especially since I am it. A guy who's great at a party, maybe not so good at say, a mortgage. But I'm going to embrace it and write that song and celebrate the moments. And I've got some great energy coursing through right about now, perhaps the product of playing and writing this morning, maybe just being aligned with who I am. 'Song and Dance Man' (chuckle)
