I left the lovely M sleeping in my bed and it's now 11am on a Monday morning. We were asleep by 11pm last night, but she seems to be one who loads up on sleep when available, as a hedge against a busy and effort filled week, and since yesterday was her day off (when she'd normally sleep most of the day away), she's catching up on it now. There's no way I could hang out in bed that long, so I'm doing some errands, taking care of some correspondence, and maybe writing a bit.
Last night we got some food at the awesome Sunday street fair, then retired to her place to hang out some. She wanted to do some housecleaning and straightening up, while I lay back, watched some Thai TV and dozed. Eventually we were gonna head over to my place to sleep, but before we did, she wanted to share some of her life with me. Under her bed, she's got a couple of trunks that store her stuff. (It's a one room place, not a lot of storage, so she uses under the bed as her closet).
It was enlightening to say the least. I knew that she was an unusual person, an original, and that was reflected in the stuff she pulled out. Massage manuals, she trained for a long time and is really good at it.... Watercolor paintings of flowers and other nature... she's good at that too.... some other artwork stuff, books by the Dalai Lama, diplomas from some of the courses she's attended, advanced yoga training materials, she trained and taught for 6 years until a neck injury sidelined her, yeah and I saw the neck xrays too, though I didn't really know what I was looking at.
I guess what I'm trying to get across is this notion that here is a woman who grew up poor in Bangkok, the 9th of 10 kids, and she self made her life into something that seems more like someone you'd meet in Portland,OR. And she did it with no support whatever, working to put herself through the various programs, always buying books, always curious and growing, I'm more than impressed. Even though she's small and dark and gorgeous, she feels like my people as opposed to some little exotic adventure that has no relationship to 'real life' I like her a lot, and am inspired by her, as she makes me question my own lack of curiousity. How lucky to meet up with this person!
Contrast that with the energy I just encountered in a bar around the corner. Since M was still needing more sleep, I figured I'd go out and watch the end of the NFL game, some bar must have opened early to bring in some American visitors. Ah there it is, 4 guys watching the Jets/Steelers and the talk is all hookers, blowjobs, don't tell my wife, threeways, look at this video from last night, it was crazy, is the guest house 'guest friendly' (can you bring your whore there?). The bar owner was a yound Danish dude, bleach blond, had been up all night, outgoing and debauched. His customers were a couple of Americans and a Brit, they'd been up all night, drinking since 8pm and now it was 9am. It was an OK vibe actually, but I'm so glad to not be part of that energy. I can smile at it, even accept it (as the would-be Buddhist that I fancy myself to be), but I want no part of that world.
I emailed with my Vietnamese friend Lan Anh, who has invited me to celebrate Tet (New Year's) at her mom's house in Thai Nguyen Province, some 60 kilometers out of Hanoi. That is very exciting news, and it sounds amazing to have that kind of an 'in' into Vietnam. I'm gonna do it. The timing is right. I feel very resolved with the situation here and it's OK to leave. I think I'll make it out of here either tomorrow or the day after, and what a journey it should be.
There is a three day trip, including two long boat rides on the Mekong River that gets you to Luang Prabang in North Central Laos. I think it's the capital but I'm not sure, but it is a world heritage city, and I'm going there. I love the idea of a slow boat trip on the Mekong, seeing the country flow by, playing some guitar, fuckin A it sounds great. After that, it's a bus ride south to Vientiane, and then cross into Vietnam and make my way to Hanoi. I'm sure I'll figure out how to get to where Lan Anh is, and I hope to spend some quality time with her and her people.
Now that my time here is short, I'll make some farewells to the friends I've made, I'll write some kind of summation of what I saw here, and then beat it. I just talked to the French Canadian dude who was talking about 'Round House' and I thought he was saying Ram Dass. He won his Muay Thai boxing match the other night and is fighting againg tonight at around 9:30. He's a martial artist from Quebec, slender and ripped, and he beat his guy in 20 seconds. Tonight he's on again, and he says, I should bet on him if I want to earn some money. I think maybe I'll just do that. Haven't seen the Thai Boxing yet, and hey, I know a guy who's gonna compete. Costs about $10 to get in, which is a big expense these days, but hey, sounds like the right time. Maybe I'll make it back at the betting window... Oh yeah, O Canada
And now, the rest of the story... (Paul Harvey RIP)
Well the last post was a fairly simple (and hopefully accuarate) summation of the part of me that can put it in a box, seal it up tight, and then hit the road.... again. Seems easy when it's just me talking to me, it all makes sense.
So I did some errands until 1pm, the errands included dropping off my laundry at the Chinese family that has a little laundry business, stopping by the bookstore for some road reading, in this case a book by Elmore Leonard, and one by Herman Hesse. (from the ridiculous to the sublime perhaps?) And then I stopped by M's place to see if she was awake yet? We had said goodnight on less than good terms, and I wanted to reconnect and eventually initiate the 'farewell' conversation.
Knock knock.... I see the window blind move as she checked to see who was there, and then the door opened. She was still sleeping, needed some more rest, which was what I expected. She was real happy to see me, wasn't sure if I were mad at her, so we snuggled a bit while 'Law and Order SVU' played softly on her TV set. She's funny like that, tends to fall asleep with the TV on, and will flip it on in the middle of the night if she wakes up. (not unlike yours truly). She likes to have the English Language stuff on as a way to improve her understanding and command.
Without going into detail, (yeah, I'm honest, but I'll leave some things private), we ended up hanging out for about 3 hours, during which we talked, connected and shared some of the kind of memorable time that makes life so incredibly sweet. There were some tears, but mostly just sweetness and understanding, and phenomenal 'sharing' and I'm feeling incredibly grateful at the moment, looking over at her now on the next computer, checking her email, which she gets to about once a week.
It's like the other side of the coin. I kind of know what my 'trendency' is (yeah I just made up a word), but it's so much more interesting when it intersects with another real life human being with trendencies of her own. I'm feeling really good about my own participation in this duet; it's been straight up truthful and giving, and that's about all I can ask of myself. I do have the tape loop that says, I'm such and such a 'commitment phobe' or 'player' or other derogatory label, and it's not too hard to frame my interactions with that filter. But it's just not true here, and this interaction has been a positive for both of us. Que mas quieres? What more do you want.
So I'm all set to leave town, could be as early as tomorrow, but then again, now that I've felt the other side of the coin, it's awfully sweet to maybe stick around another day or two or three? Still on that moment to moment balancing act, but it feels different now, knowing that this connection is real and from the heart, it becomes cleaner and easier to make decisions.
The thing I'm feeling at the moment is huge respect for my friend M. To portray her simply as someone with a self destructive streak, which I did in the preceding post, doesn't do any kind of justice to her depth of character. She reads Krishnamurti, she talked about Eckhard Tolle's book, she's a thinker and a feeler and a 'woman of valor' as the Jews like to say. And I have been so blessed to get to share even a small part of the journey with her. (heart is happy)
So I did some errands until 1pm, the errands included dropping off my laundry at the Chinese family that has a little laundry business, stopping by the bookstore for some road reading, in this case a book by Elmore Leonard, and one by Herman Hesse. (from the ridiculous to the sublime perhaps?) And then I stopped by M's place to see if she was awake yet? We had said goodnight on less than good terms, and I wanted to reconnect and eventually initiate the 'farewell' conversation.
Knock knock.... I see the window blind move as she checked to see who was there, and then the door opened. She was still sleeping, needed some more rest, which was what I expected. She was real happy to see me, wasn't sure if I were mad at her, so we snuggled a bit while 'Law and Order SVU' played softly on her TV set. She's funny like that, tends to fall asleep with the TV on, and will flip it on in the middle of the night if she wakes up. (not unlike yours truly). She likes to have the English Language stuff on as a way to improve her understanding and command.
Without going into detail, (yeah, I'm honest, but I'll leave some things private), we ended up hanging out for about 3 hours, during which we talked, connected and shared some of the kind of memorable time that makes life so incredibly sweet. There were some tears, but mostly just sweetness and understanding, and phenomenal 'sharing' and I'm feeling incredibly grateful at the moment, looking over at her now on the next computer, checking her email, which she gets to about once a week.
It's like the other side of the coin. I kind of know what my 'trendency' is (yeah I just made up a word), but it's so much more interesting when it intersects with another real life human being with trendencies of her own. I'm feeling really good about my own participation in this duet; it's been straight up truthful and giving, and that's about all I can ask of myself. I do have the tape loop that says, I'm such and such a 'commitment phobe' or 'player' or other derogatory label, and it's not too hard to frame my interactions with that filter. But it's just not true here, and this interaction has been a positive for both of us. Que mas quieres? What more do you want.
So I'm all set to leave town, could be as early as tomorrow, but then again, now that I've felt the other side of the coin, it's awfully sweet to maybe stick around another day or two or three? Still on that moment to moment balancing act, but it feels different now, knowing that this connection is real and from the heart, it becomes cleaner and easier to make decisions.
The thing I'm feeling at the moment is huge respect for my friend M. To portray her simply as someone with a self destructive streak, which I did in the preceding post, doesn't do any kind of justice to her depth of character. She reads Krishnamurti, she talked about Eckhard Tolle's book, she's a thinker and a feeler and a 'woman of valor' as the Jews like to say. And I have been so blessed to get to share even a small part of the journey with her. (heart is happy)
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