Happy New Year from Chiang Mai...

12 minutes until the clock strikes 12 and rather than be out in the maelstrom of Tae Pae Gate which is the Times Square of Chiang Mai, I'm ensconced in the internet place that is right there, with music blasting outside, hundreds of vendors hawking grilled meat, noodles, corn on the cob, deep fried this and that, all kinds of food and all kinds of clothing, knick knacks, tee shirts, yoga pants, the usual deal.  The street is closed off and it's a see of Asian faces, some Farang, everybody from babies to old timers.  In the sky are hundreds of lanterns, some going up, some coming down... it's a big business on a night like this, must be a hundred or more vendors selling them here.  And people light them, pose with them, and set them aloft,carrying their dreams for the new year... or maybe it's just a photo op.

Had a rough day of missing my girlfriend Julie who has been off the grid with friends for a few days, so we didn't have a chance to chat or skype lately and for some reason, it's hard at the new year, I felt pretty lonely there for a few minutes, but that gives way to the next feeling and the next and the next so it's not something I dwell in.  But wow, there was an ache there for awhile.  I've been reading a great collection of 'the Best Buddhist writing of 2011' and it's really getting me to think in a different way.  I'm drawn to Buddhism and this is an excellent way for me to get a foothold.  Different articles from different walks of life, each one digestible without having to wade through a serious tome that would feel like work.  This feels like knowledge and I'm into it.

Two minutes to go... and I have zero interest in being part of the throng, though I will step out to watch the fireworks, so I guess yeah, I'll be in the throng.  I wish I was with my love at midnight, I miss the kiss and the connection.  Part of the price for being a road dog, and yup I have to pay it.... And it's OK

Well it says 12:00 so Happy New Year, Sawadii Pii Mai (in Thai)  There's the cheer, there's the explosions, I'm sitting indoors with headphones and glasses on... like a nerd... and it's OK

Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom

Better and Better

Musical vignette... I was playing bass with my Thai musician friend, Apple, and we were having our customary great time together. This Aussie guy joins us on penny whistle, he's got an assortment of them and he plays OK. But he plays too much, never puts the damn thing down. Apple is singing, he's playing, Apple takes a solo, he's playing, there's a quiet part of the song, he's playing. After about a half hour, it was getting to me... but how do you tactfully ask someone to back off a bit. It's not 'my gig' and who the hell do I think I am? But it needed to be done, for everybody's sake, including his. So I quietly suggested that he could play less, that way there is more impact when he plays, and the music has more dynamics.

He was initially a little put off by my temerity to critique him, but he did back off some, I could see his mind working as he wanted to play all the time, but forced himself to wait. The music got better. I think he understood. Anyhow, last night I'm wrapping up my set in the restaurant, nice crowd of people, another good time. Dash is going to sing 'Those Were The Days My Friend' and here comes the Aussie strolling in with his whistles. The song gets going, he isn't playing because he wasn't invited but then I look over and say F#minor and he's in. And he played with restraint and he got his solo and the people were surprised by the new sound and they applauded for him and for us. Then we played that Oasis tune 'Wonderwall' and once again, he played with restraint, left space and it was great. Ahhhh it should always be so nice...

And it's just getting better and better on that restaurant gig.  I'm up to 4 nights a week, I played last night even though I was sick earlier in the day, but between rest and some tiger balm (eucalyptus, I think) under the nose, I was feeling good enough to do the gig.  And I'm so glad that I did.  It's just ridiculously fun, I am treated like part of the family and they are so appreciative of what I provide... which is 'live music' and the invitation for people to interact.  I couldn't be happier with the gig.  And then last night this Swiss family was sitting near me, two young kids, some kind of multi racial mix, (I wouldn't have guessed them for Swiss, let's put it that way).  And at the end of the night the boy comes to drop a tip in the tip jar and it was a thousand baht note.  ($33).  I didn't see him do it, but when I checked the jar I found it and asked where it came from.  I thanked the family and asked, 'Are you the prime minister or something?'   The dad smiled and said no, but they enjoyed the music.  Crazy... I made $75 last night playing music in Thailand... and I get to play tonight again... and then it's New Year's Eve.  Totally blessed at this point...

From the Island of Malta....

I had a hysterical night last night at the restaurant, it didn't start out that way, but the flow seems to be one of increasing looseness over the course of the evening.  I always start out the same way, playing a couple of instrumental guitar songs that I've written over the years, then work into some mellow love song type stuff, and eventually into 'whatever'.  It seems like people are there to enjoy their food and their company, not to be assaulted by and attention seeking musician, so I try and accompany 'date night' with the songs I choose.

But as the evening goes on, the tables change, folks get a few drinks in them, they start responding, I start getting a little more raucous and let's see what happens.  Last night, Noi was sitting at the table next to me with her kinda BF Jay and our mutual friend John.  She really likes it when I interact with her customers so she told one older couple that 'he likes suggestions, do you have a request?'  The guy said, 'Amazing Grace'.  (didn't expect that, but I played it).  And since I don't really know the verse, I asked for some help, and he sang it.  Then I invited him up to the mic and he sang it there, got some applause.  Turns out he's a Baptist minister, so that was a cool moment.  Of course I had to tell him the story about how I was playing piano during one of those interfaith services and the song was Amazing Grace.  I jazzed it up some, got some gospel thing going on the keys and afterward a little old lady came up and said,  'I can tell you're a baptist by the way you play piano'.  I thanked her for the compliment.

And there was a table of 4 right in front of me, turns out they're from Malta and they were pretty cool, just good energy.  I told them that the first I ever heard of Malta was on Heavyweight Wrestling in the 60's there was a bad guy named 'Baron Mikel Sikluna'  FROM THE ISLAND OF MALTA and he was a giant evil bastard who cheated and hurt the good guys.  They whipped out their Iphones and found him, came up to the mic to show me his picture, I feigned terror and we all laughed.  And then somehow I started making up a song about Malta, starting with the Baron, and then asking them for instance, 'what's a common name for a girl in Malta?'  'Maria' both girls said, so I made up a song about going to be with Maria in Malta and if I married her did I have to give her father a goat, that sort of thing.  Then we changed it to I'll get him a new boat, and that was better :-).  Mostly it was just silliness but it was totally live, full of laughter and tremendously fun energy.  I made their night, they made my night, kind of thing.

Both of the guys were graphic designers so there was just some creative spark at that table.  They had asked for a Johnny Cash song and I did parts of a couple of them, ending with Ring of Fire.  And it burns burns burns... One of the guys said, burns like curry... and now we're off on that tangent.  And it occurred to me that the ring of fire could be uh a bunghole of fire after the curry... It looks stupid now, but at the moment, we were hysterical.  Same way with my buddy John, who is in a disastrous relationship but can't seem to extricate himself.  That turned into a little improvisation as well, and I totally nailed it... Noi is like 'You have to write that down', but no, it was gone, it's one of those things that happens in the moment if the force is with you.  To write it down is to kill it.  John loved it, it was just one of those moments.

And how awesome to have that kind of freedom in a gig, when the boss loves what you're doing, encourages it, calls out songs, which I dutifully play.  It's a two hour gig, but since the place is packed when I'm supposedly done, I just keep going and they pay me for that extra hour.  Last night I made a whopping $52 which is nothing in the states, but is really good for here, and I added up everything and in the last 10 days, I'm down a total of $5.  I'm paying my way through music, and that is incredibly satisfying... I feel proud of that.  But shhhh I'm not allowed to earn money here.

Sick today, it's been coming on for a day or two, now fully into my sinus, my voice is half gone, might have to miss tonight and possibly tomorrow... darn it.  But I feel good inside in spite of it.  Maybe it will clear up enough to perform, seems like less than a 50percent chance... but let's see what happens...

Is it enough?

Is it enough?  That's the question that comes up for me lately, as I wonder about my life here.  I think I'm basically happy and healthy, taking good care of myself, making it to yoga most mornings, feeling strong and more flexible than before.  I'm playing a lot of music, sharing it with the folks at the two venues I at which I appear.  I'm spending time with friends, shooting the bull with the old timers over coffee, enjoying good food and camaraderie with the folks at the restaurant.  I'm working on music, spending quality time in front of the microphone and in the bedroom practicing.  I'm avoiding the depressing Oregon winter, getting sun, swimming in the pool, picking up a little (very little) Thai language.  Is it enough?

And now that I think about it, the very premise of the inquiry is flawed, as it assumes a valuing and a judgment about how one lives.  The very asking of the question skews the material and places it into a western, ego involved container about success or failure or living up to one's potential or some other mediated mind trip about life.  What about just being there?  being here?  Seems like a plan.  Or as artist Terry McIlrath once commented to me as I was goofing on myself about the success/failure paradigm, 'Can't you just muck around and have some fun?'

So if I were to somehow let go of the questioning about 'is it enough', then it just is.  And it can breathe, and relax and appreciate.  It just is.  And instead of that cliche 'It is what it is', how bout, 'It just is'.

Keeping On keeping on

Aside from the lack of sleep... I can't seem to make it more than 4 hours in one stretch, I'm doing well.  Big night at the restaurant tonight, made $42 which is pretty darn good for 3 hours work, and they asked if I would play both nights of the weekend for as long as I'm here, which means I'll be working 4 evenings a week.  It's truly the linchpin of my stay in Chiang Mai, all the more so now, and chances are I'm going to ride that wave for the next month or so.  Aside from basically paying my expenses while I'm here, I'm getting great experience as a solo act, my voice and playing are as good as they've ever been, and it's like I've found a home, a place to be, a place to eat good food, it's a win win win win.   And they really appreciate what I provide, which is good music and a fun personality.  It's the perfect gig while I'm here.... grateful grateful for it. 

Well that sucked...

Yup, that sucked last night, but there was a bright spot nonetheless.  The sucky part was the fact that I was totally pumped to make music last night... follow up the Christmas Eve fun with even more.  Oh yes, the dreaded 'expectations' got me again.  I was all ready, had thought it through, but it wasn't to be.  These three fine musicians have been rehearsing and they have come up with an insular band that isn't really looking to do anything except hog the stage and make their music.  Last night, one of them, Pavel wasn't available so I filled in and got to do the thing I do... involve the audience, help orchestrate the show.  This time, no way.  They were doing their thing, and even though there were a bunch of players who wanted to contribute, they just kept playing and playing as if no one else mattered.  Bang... I got out of there with a bit of a bad vibe.

And I had a dream that I went to talk to them about it, give some feedback about how they hogged the show and didn't give anyone else a chance.  And my feedback was met with total rejection, I was totally wrong, totally dismissed, it was so real.  I was kind of amazed that they couldn't even begin to see what I was talking about, but it was such a strong slap down that I received.  I ended up skulking out of the bar, feeling totally misunderstood and victimized.  And when I woke up in bed and realized that it was just a dream, that I hadn't called them on it, it was such a relief.

It's all about ego.  I was so bummed that I didn't get to do my thing, and I couldn't really enjoy what was happening... a room full of nice people having a Christmas party.  Nope, it was all about me not getting what I wanted and that totally colored, even destroyed the experience.  I mean there is some legitimacy to what I was feeling... I know there were other players there who wanted to contribute as well, but the strong feeling I got was that I was being mistreated... or rather my ego was being mistreated.  And I guess I'm not at the evolutionary point where I can just let it ride and dig what is.  But at least I didn't compound it by calling them on it... The dream says... 'Don't do that'.  (much as I fucking want to...)  So instead of it being a big fuckin' deal, I guess it's just a case of 'well that sucked'.  Let's move on.  Yes let's.

Have a Namaste Christmas

I'm glad yoga class happened this morning, wasn't sure since the teacher is from Holland and maybe he wanted to take a day off for Christmas, but there he was, with a full house (10 or so is all that can fit in the studio).  Great class, and much needed after not enough sleep (again) and some moderate alcohol consumption last night.  And why was I drinking, Mr Healthier than Thou.... because I was having a freaking great time playing late night at the CU Corner.

The timing was perfect, I went to Noi's 60th birthday party, had a great meal of ham and pineapple, fried rice, scalloped potatoes, caesar salad, hung out with the folks, played a few songs after dinner for a couple of small groups... fun stuff.  The best thing I did at that party was to wrangle everybody together for 5 minutes so that we could focus on Noi, say some words, light the candles and have a 'moment'.  The party was outside, her house is on the site of the reastaurant, and it was busy out there with a full house of customers.  We could hear a lot of background noise including the sounds from the guy playing music.  And we just hadn't gathered.  So I took it upon myself to encourage (OK insist) that we adjourn to the inside of the house for a little focus.  A couple of folks said 'let's just do it here', but no, that wasn't the spot... too noisy, so I did that thing I do.  Take over and push the envelope a bit.  It was the right thing to do.  A few people spoke, we sang happy birthday.. .had 'the moment'.  I don't mind the resistance... it's my job (self appointed)

I got to CU around 10:45 just as Pavel was called to another gig.  He's the guy who usually fronts the ensemble, sings and plays great, but when he was called away, Daniel saw me and asked if I would play.  Absolutely!  and what a great group, Daniel playing his gypsy jazz (with charts so I could accompany), Cristofe on bass, like Daniel, and Frenchman, and an American dude, Drew on bongos and percussion.  I sang and played rhythm guitar (with a few leads too).  A perfect scene, the music was cooking, I pulled out some of my tunes that these jazz cats could follow and the audience was way into it.  Lots of applause, some hollering and merriment.  A Ukranian dude was pouring shots of his special Ukranian whiskey that he brought for the occasion and Thaew bought me a Sangsom (rum) and soda, so I was buzzing pretty good, and jamming hard.  And we were dynamic, leaving room for each other, getting quiet, getting loud, having a total blast.  Thaew had us quit at 12:30 to keep the neighbors from complaining, but tonight is Christmas and anything goes.  We're gonna rip it up.  First a barbecue which she invited me to, then music all night.  among friends and fans, what is better?

As I was lying in bed last night I started thinking about all the stuff we could play that doesn't need rehearsal, and came up with plenty.  Feliz Navidad should be fun, also this naughty one I wrote to the Alice's Restaurant progression... it's called 'Who grabbed your ass?'.  Also this one called 'American Song' which is written to the Shine on Harvest Moon progression.  That's the thing about jazz guys, it the music runs along a familiar pattern, they can just step in after hearing it once, and off we go.  This 'American Song' is actually about that very thing.  Here's the lyric... can't wait to share it tonight

D7                                      G7
There's a kind of music that everybody knows
C7                                           F
Can't say where it started but I sure know where it goes
D7                                     G7
Right around a circle, come on and get aboard
         Bb               Bdim      F        D7            G7          C7       F
Like a freight train line to a simpler time you'll find an American song

Beethoven used this harmony, ain't nothing new under the sun
V1 chord goes to the 11chord, V goes to the 1
And if you play it ragtime all your friends can swing along
That's what I do anytime I'm blue I play an American song

Up a lazy river with Sweet Georgia Brown
Shine on harvest moon, lighting up the whole darn town
Paul McCartney took a crack at it when he wrote Rocky Raccoon
Not bad, Paul, but still and all it's just an American tune

Meetings with interesting people...

Well wasn't I a jerk today... I was at the dentist and the new crown just back from the lab didn't quite fit, there was a little gap, so it needed to be recalibrated. The dentist is a perfectionist... I get the feeling that a different dentist might have said, 'It's good enough', but this woman was looking into the future and she wanted it to be perfect. But this entailed some picking and poking and remeasuring and even though she had offered an injection, I said, no it's OK. (I didn't need one for the other tooth, right?). But it was taking a long time and at one point the pain kept building and building and I made a noise, threw up my hands, she pulled back and I sat up and cursed a little, expressed some anger and frustration, not at her of course, but how was she to know that. I sat back, looked at her, said I was sorry and she started to cry, had to leave the room for a minute or two. I felt like such a moron, ugly american child. When she came back, I apologized profusely as did she. But more importantly, I think that I got to the end of the period where I'll allow myself to let off steam like that. It's too self indulgent, and I've had enough of it. Lesson learned... let's not have to learn it again. We left on fine terms, but I'm chagrined.

In other news, I played 2 and 1/2 hours without a break at the restaurant last night, I love it so much.  The most interesting encounter was with a table in front of me, where I overheard something about winning a race.  Since there was a marathon in town this past weekend, I asked if that's what they were talking about, and sure enough, one of the women had won the half marathon.  Her name is Brooke Wells, she used to run for Cal in the early 2000s, then switched to the marathon and is right up there as an Olympic Trials qualifier.  Hey, i'm a track groupie, so it was interesting to talk with her.  And naturally I had to sing my song, 'Track Town USA' for her party.  And I also embarrassed her by announcing into the mic that we have the half marathon winner here, Brooke Wells from the USA.  Meetings with semi famous people...

Tweaked my shoulder a bit between the yoga class and the working out in the swimming pool... gonna skip a day and relax.  Not a bad idea since I hardly slept last night, got just a few hours for some reason... so maybe just give myself a day to chill out, get a massage and not accomplish anything.  (but I do want to work on some music, so I will).  And this evening there is a birthday party for Noi, who owns Dash Restaurant and I think I'm invited to play for the party.  I'm gonna offer to play for free and happily so, I owe her.  (and of course if she insists on paying me, I'll refuse.. (once).  Ah yes the subtleties.  Sure there is a part of me that wants to keep getting paid.  In the past week I have actually earned all of my keep on the road.  That's quite a good feeling to be here without having to go to the bank and extract money.  Some kind of accomplishment.  (and Dash is the reason why this is so, by and large).  




And in the category of 'interesting people', I'm pretty intrigued with this 42 year old guitarist named Pavel.  For one, he's a great player, plays a stratocaster, can rock, can swing great soloist, is funny at the microphone etc, but what's interesting is his history, which I know only the outline of.  Born in Chile in 1972, parents were communists, and on the wrong side of history, as the Allende regime was overthrown by the CIA backed Pinochet thugs in 1973, and the communists were the ones who got 'disappeared'.  There was something about them hiding out in the French Embassy and eventually making their way to Moscow.  Pavel grew up in Sweden after that, so here's this Chileno musician with a Russian name who speaks Spanish, Swedish and English.  And he's nice.  He's been jamming with a dour French bassist, Cristof, who is apparently leaving town soon, and I think I might want to make some music with him when he's freed up.  He would kill on my tunes.  We've played some already, and it's a good fit.


OK, I hung out writing long enough to definitely miss the yoga class... yay, feels like the right choice.  Back to the dentist at 2:30 and yes, I'll take the injection thank you, and I apologize again for my immaturity.  And on we go...

I play therefore I am?

It's kinda starting to feel that way, 'I play therefore I am'.  It feels like making music is my truest self, and why wouldn't it be?  It encompasses pretty much everything I've learned in my sixty spins around the sun.  There's the craft of it... how many thousands of hours strumming a guitar, playing piano, accordion, trumpet, cowbell whatever which have trained my muscles to do what needs doing.  There's the breathing and the singing and the heart opening and the intention to raise the spirit... mine and my listeners.  There's all those songs, all that poetry, mine and not mine that have been the poetry track of my life.  There's the lessons I took from others, the lessons I taught to others,  The ideas, good and bad that have shaped the repertoire, the thinking about it, the puzzling out how to make the words fit together in an appealing way, to have them mean something.

There is something in that quest that brings the divine energy into my life.  Those are the exciting times, when I'm working on something and I get a tingle up my spine as if the universe is saying...'Yes, you're on the right track, keep going'.  It's happened enough times that I trust it and know it to be true.  It is a spirit path, and it's the one I travel.  What else would I do?

And the beauty of it is that every little gig I play, every library show, senior gig, school assembly, restaurant appearance is an opportunity to use it all, share the love, make a joyful noise.  It's never been about the money, though of course it's great (and necessary) to get paid.  It's about 'here we are, let's love'.  So these gigs I've been doing here, sitting at the mic, doing my absolute best, walking the path... it's the path of love.  And people paying me to do it?  Buying me drinks and food? Saying nice things?  There is some kind of holiness in it all, and yes, I'm truly blessed.

Yesterday at 2pm I was having coffee with the old timers when my phone rang and Noi (from the restaurant) asked if I could play that night.  There were a bunch of reservations and even though no music was scheduled, she thought it would be good if I could do my two hours.  'Yes Definitely, Thank You', so suddenly another chance to dial it up and let it flow, another 1000 baht (including the tips), another chance to connect with music and with the public, another delicious dinner and a drink and that cheesecake, oh Lord!  Why am I being treated so well?  It's kind of blowing me away.

So I did my set and it was another pleasure, then I strolled over to CU Corner and Thaew (owner) wants to buy me a drink because she appreciates what I've been providing there, but instead Noel buys me a drink and I listen for awhile, then accompany the Australian gent Billy as he plays a set.  I sing some harmony, do my best, take a few solos, get in his groove, try to support as well as I can.  All the good things... the stuff I believe in happens in the musical exchange... trying your best, following someone else, spreading the love, going for the specialness... I play therefore I am indeed.

And I've been getting a little flak from a 'friend' of mine who thinks I'm all about ego.  He was telling me that someone else read my posts and commented, 'there are three on earth that are visible from space... the pyramids, the Great Wall and Glauber's ego'.  I said, 'Have him delete me, by all means... and you can delete me too'.  That kind of criticism is so 'family of origin' that it cuts deep.  But I guess I can just consider the source... someone who is unhappy and in a bad situation... it's so easy to put people down, cast aspersions on their motives, accuse them of whatever... troll through life.  Even though it stung at the moment, I really don't care at this point... I know what I'm doing...Gonna keep doing it... And those that want to judge or be offended... your choice, I wish you the best...

The creativity cure

Yesterday when I started writing the Irish song, I was facing the first hit of loneliness, 'what am I doing here' angst.  It wasn't a bad thing, just a real thing, and I decided to see if I could create my way out of it... So I strolled over to the internet place, stared at a blank screen for a moment, then remembered the little Irish musical ditty I had messed around with on the guitar the night before... Simple three chord thing, but with that lilting 6/8 rhythm that I love (and don't use enough).  So with that in mind, I put some words down and came up with something that wasn't bad, something that could work.  And when I went back to the guitar and tried it out, yeah, that's pretty good for a first crack.  And voila, loneliness gone, on to the next thing.

And the next thing happened to be showing up at CU Corner with my guitar, ready to make something happen.  There were just a few regulars present when I started, but little by little folks started drifting in and I stayed at the mic.  Ended up playing for a couple of hours, through several incarnations, some with Mad Mike on harmonica and self-aggrandizing harmony vocals... Some with David Ball's family in the house... his mom was singing some stellar Andrews Sisters type harmony... that was really fun.  Played for some drunks who wandered in, just kept it rolling and got a ton of positive feedback.  Thaew even dropped a little cash on me as a way of saying thank you.  It's all on the sly, of course, a 'handshake' with a few bills hidden inside.  It felt nice.  Mostly what's nice is just being there, using my skills to connect with the people, give them a good time, make musical fun. (like I've been doing for decades and then some)  It's pretty much 'what I do'

And I think I get to do a little more of it this evening, thanks to a chance encounter this morning.  I had my guitar with me, for whatever reason... Just felt like keeping it going, maybe working on the Irish thing, maybe playing for a coffee at Noi's shop.  This black British guy pulls up and stops as I'm walking down Soi 1.  'Excuse me, I notice the guitar, can I ask what kind of music you play?'  'Good music', I replied.  And then I said something about swing, originals, fun stuff.  Turns out he owns a little bar on Soi 2 and was looking for a musician to help celebrate the birthday of one of his clients.  When he told me the guy was a 63 year old Aussie, I said, yes I can do that.  So in 15 minutes I'll head over there and see what I can come up with.  He's gonna pay me something, not sure what, and I'll have the chance to 'do what I do'.  It's so cool the way it is just kinda happening without a lot of effort on my part.  It's as if it is just in the cards.  Show up, be open, have a guitar at hand and off we go.  It's like 'country fair magic' in Chiang Mai.

Today I skipped yoga, cuz I felt like it... had a great skype with Julie (who I adore), and then walked cross town for that cuppa coffee with Noi.  Nice to see the gang over there, some of my Thai connections, then I walked to the one park within the old city of Chiang Mai, rented one of those woven mats and did my yoga and stretches in the sun.  Fantastic, worked on my tan, chatted with a couple Brits who I knew, then back to the guest house for a nap.   Dinner was that $1 bowl of noodle soup with wontons and roast pork, and I'm ready to make some music.  And off we go....

Homage to Jelly (first draft)

Of all the many characters
Whose lives we intertwine
The butcher and the baker
The gal who paints the sign
The chimney sweep the chambermaid
The man who lays the tile
Sure none can hold a candle
To the one who brings a smile

Down at the tavern
There's laughter and a shout
Voices raised in merriment
The joy is all about
And at the very heart of it
With unmistakeable style
Oh the stories and the singing
Of the one who brings a smile

There's music everywhere he goes
In the city and the town
A penny whistle calls the tune
Of the man from County Down
Some say he's just a gad about
Innocent as a child
But sure we need the offering
Of the one who brings a smile

Music and more music

Let's see, maybe I can invent some difficulties so this writing has a little more grit, but sadly (happily) it's just smooth sailing as I approach the end of my third week in Chiang Mai.  I had a fantastic night making music yesterday, a two hour gig at Dash Restaurant that everyone seemed to enjoy, especially the owner, which after all is the main person who needs to be pleased.  And the fact that I got $12 in tips on top of the $23 in wages makes it a thousand baht night, which is just great.  And there's the free food and the camaraderie and the booze if I want it (I don't).  But I think the best part is playing for two hours straight, getting my voice really loosened up, working on some musical things, just getting that experience of being a singer and entertainer who gets to do the music I do, and gets to burnish it, try new things, be in the moment etc.  It's a nice little PA over there and I sound good.  Happy.

And then I walked round the corner to play bass for my friend Apple at CU Corner.  Another 90 minutes of friendship, music, camaraderie, respect... it's almost too good to be true.  Apple is Thai, a few years younger than me, has some kind of a disability that makes his legs short and crooked so when he leaves and goes to get on his scooter, it's not easy for him to traverse the uneven ground.  You wouldn't know it watching him perform, he's got a perpetual smile, he's generous with people wanting to jam along, leaves space, encourages folks, and he sings a plays great.  Apple has notebooks filled with English language songs that he has transcribed in the Thai alphabet.  He speaks very little English but plays a thousand songs.  He transcribed his main book twenty years ago and it's quite a document... not that I can read one letter of it... but he can.  And as I've mentioned in the past... even though we don't communicate except in the most rudimentary conversation, we know each other well.  Total musical affinity, many laughs and smiles along the way, lots of harmony too as I get to work on my harmony skills when we play together.

Went home around midnight, got a decent night's sleep, up at 7 for a cappuccino then a yoga class.  Definitely enjoying the daily (almost) practice, I'm feeling pretty grounded and strong.  The only thing missing is that I haven't created but one new song.  Maybe today is a day to dig in and see if I can find one... Sounds like a plan.

Now...

Well here I am at the internet rather than in yoga class... but I have a good excuse, or even a couple of them.  If a guy needed excuses, that is, which he doesn't.  I was kind of bummed that Emma who is the Taiwanese teacher I have been studying with, let me know that yesterday was her last day.  I didn't realize that she was filling in for some Dutch guy who is the owner of the place.  He's teaching now, and I'll check it out tomorrow.  But the real reason I didn't go is because my Spanish friend, Nataraj is teaching a biodanza class at the Yoga Tree Studio (where I had my dance weekend) and I decided to go there for my morning workout.  So I've got a little time to kill beforehand, then it's off to class.

Nataraj and I met for dinner last night, and since he's a vegetarian, I suggested Dada which is a healthy place that I know of.  Afterward I showed him around some of the seamier side of Chiang Mai, which he hadn't experienced.  It's his first time here, so I gave him a little tour of Loy Kroh and the night market.  Loy Kroh is the zone where the bar girls (and ladyboys) work the tourist trade.  Chiang Mai is very low key in this regard, and I hear that there was some kind of concerted move to keep this kind of action in one place, rather than all over the city, so here it is.  Some noisy bars with young beauties outside trying to get you to come in and have a drink.  Many massage places, most of them legit, some of them more oriented toward 'special massage'.  There are some intersting stores with antiques, clothing, beads, Buddhist bells, 'singing bowls'.  There are restaurants, roti carts on the street, a few beggars, lots of tourists walking up and down.  During the day it's a quiet place, at night the music comes on and it's the scene.

Down Loy Kroh to the night market, 7 nights a week vendors lining the sidewalks offering tee shirts, electronics, wrist watches, more tee shirts, yoga pants, carved this and that, it's a constant bazaar.  There is a large plaza off the main drag where there are acres of vendors and it's a much mellower scene.  I'm a terrible shopper as I don't tend to care about 'stuff', but it was still nice to have a look around and see the scene.

Just got interrupted to have another lovely skype session with Julie, and those have uniformly been fantastic... to miss someone a lot, but there she is, she's happy to see me, we get to have a virtual romance and it always lifts me up.  Yes it does.

So I walked cross town afterwards to go to the Biodanza class, and I loved it again.  Very touchy feelie, lots of hugs, I hugged a bunch of guys and it's OK, a different way of being, and I think there is a lot of community building value in the form.  And my man Nataraj is a maestro, so it was great.  After the two hour class, there was a great vegetarian feast for $3 and change and it's so cool to have connected with this hip community.  There are other offerings daily, yoga classes and the like and it's right near the only park in the old city of Chiang Mai, so I strolled over there after lunch to maybe play some guitar, sit in the sun.  It was like a west coast scene there, guys strumming guitars, people doing acro-yoga, others practicing their tightrope skills, just a big hang-out with many many countries represented.

It's now 5:40pm, I need to go back to the room, take a shower and then go play my restaurant gig.  It's been going great in so many ways... no drama, no smoking or drinking, new friends and very limited time in the bar.  And when I'm there, I get to make music, then scoot.  I could use a nap, but no time now... My public awaits... ho ho ho.  Chiang Mai is quite a magnet, I'm understanding more and more why I'm here.  And I'm so glad that I got the two month visa in advance.  If I didn't have it, I'd need to be planning a visa run out of the country before too long, but now, it's a non-issue.  That was a really good move before I left.  I didn't realize I'd be hanging in Chiang Mai, but why not... it's a great place and I'm happily ensconced (again).  The shift from bar scene to yoga/dance scene was the right decision, and I'm basically just happy to be here.  And on we go.

Last bit.... Nataraj's basic theme was 'Now'.  This is it, this is the chance to feel, to express, to live, to connect right now... and Biodanza provides a great way to do it.  I was reminded of a young woman I met in Eugene a few years ago.  She had been dealing with cancer for a couple of years... one fucked up scenario after another, but her eyes were luminous.  I met her at some kind of gathering and I asked her what she had learned from her ordeal.  She was talking about how no matter what the situation, you can still be present and real and connected.  I paraphrased and asked, 'So you have to live each day?'.  She said, You have to live NOW!.

Carry a guitar around Chiang Mai...

Carry a guitar around Chiang Mai and it's amazing the kinds of situations that you encounter...  I had a desire to check out a beautiful temple I had passed on one of my walks through town, so I headed in that direction to find it again.  It's called Wat Chomphu and it's not only lovely, it's quiet and secluded with a nice courtyard and several buildings around it.  I think there is a community of monks who are based there.  I played some quiet music in the courtyard, to the amusement of some older ladies and some monks.  As the sun set, one of the monks rang the bell and a prayer service began with chanting and praying on their knees.  I stopped playing and listened a bit, then headed back toward my guest house.

Passed by White Orchid Massage, where I was introduced a couple of years ago by my friend Toby, and I know several of the women who work there.  They call me 'Richard Gere', and since I had my guitar, I played a little bit of a couple of songs... one of mine, 'Chillin' in Chiang Mai', and the Clapton song, 'Lovely Tonight'  which is the go-to tune if you want the ladies to smile and sing along.  It was a nice scene.

Headed to my favorite Pad Thai street spot where I've gone for a couple of years, I'm the only westerner who goes there, but they know me and are glad to see me.  A young Thai guy showed up with a guitar and after we ate, we got talking a bit and jammed on a song or two.  The husband of the cook was really into it and asked him if we had played together before... he was kind of incredulous that people could just start playing, but I said, 'it's a language, and the kid translated to the old man.

Went over to Dash Restaurant, where I had a little dessert and then listened to the Thai guy who plays there on alternate nights.  He's good, uses some technology, has a good act.  But when he was done, they wanted me to play some and it turned into an hour long, sit around the tables and sing together, with some Americans, Canadians, Dutch customers, lots of fun and I get to be the life of the party... humbly, of course, but I just have the skill to hear what they're singing and to pick it up.... And a few of my tunes in there as well... just another night of music and fun.

Capped off with a stop by CU Corner where I got to play some gypsy jazz with Daniel, the awesome French guitar master who I've played with before... Then he took a break and I was asked to lead some songs with two young jazzer musicians Pavel and Cristof, both good players who could follow my jazzy stuff.  We played til about midnight and then I split for home... Kind of a typical night in town... carry a guitar around and it just unfolds... Sweet....

Lucky Dog

This must be kinda boring to the folks who read my stuff the past few years... no drama, no tortured relationship issues, no travel to speak of, I'm holed up in Chiang Mai, making music, doing a daily yoga practice, eating well, getting some massages... just massages, people.  And I haven't felt the need to probe deeply in hopes of uncovering some truth that was lurking underneath the drama.  I'm basically just feeling content to be chilling out in northern Thailand, in the great city of Chiang Mai.  Some people call me a 'lucky dog'.  Sure, that works, I'm a lucky dog.

But how long will this be a great place to be?  Hard to say as it keeps changing.  This is my fourth winter spending time here, and what I notice most of all this year is the influx of Chinese, lots of them in the restaurants, on the street, in the guest houses and hotels.  And why wouldn't they be here, China is close and there are a lot of Chinese with money.  And I get the feeling that it will only increase.  China is investing madly in the region, building roads, super highways, bridges, lots of infrastructure that seems to portend a Sino centric advance in SE Asia.  Three years ago I took a two day boat ride up the Mekong River in Laos to the city of Luang Prabang.  I remember the border crossing being quite a confusing mess, going down to the river on the Thailand side, loading into dugout boats to cross over into Laos, getting out and dealing with immigration, then back into other boats to begin the journey.  Now there is a spanking new bridge over that crossing (Chinese built) and some 6 lane sections of highway along the route.  Eventually it's gonna be a high speed haul across the whole of SE Asia and up into China.  It's happening.

But for now, it's still possible to wander the streets and alleys of Chiang Mai, grab a bowl of noodle soup with pork $1, visit the temples, see friends, make music and basically enjoy the good life.  There are tons of very interesting people pretty much everywhere you turn, that's a big part of why this city is an inviting place to be.  I couldn't begin to recount all of the fascinating conversations I have on a daily basis.  Well here's one, this guy Steven is a big, Ken Kesey-like presence, round face, big body, wears his Alaska tee shirt proudly, and I've met him twice now at the coffee shop.  He is a bee expert, travels the world working with local farmers and NGOs 'Spreading the gospel of beejesus' as he describes it.  He was a beekeeper in Fairbanks for many years, now he assists on projects in Borneo, Bangladesh, Cambodia, India to name just a few.  We traded travel tales while enjoying the morning cappuccino.  He's got me by a mile, but I have a few to share as well.  Like the time I hiked across Spain along the Camino de Santiago, and at the end, you're supposed to hug the statue of Saint James (Santiago) which is in the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostola.  On the last day, I walked 25 miles, was feeling awesome, made it to the city, made it to the old city, made it to the cathedral, to find 10,000 color coordinated Christian tourists who had bussed in and were lined up half a mile deep to hug the statue.  I'm thinking 'Get the hell out of the way, I walked here, look at my walking stick' and realized the joke was on me.  Hey a joke is a good thing...

Or the chain-smoking old Irish guy, Noel I met last night at CU Corner who was extremely quick witted and big on the wordplay, and who loved my tunes.  I started playing 'What a Wonderful World' and he began to sing in a fantastic voice, knew all the words so I got to harmonize and it was great.  Folks started whipping out their phones to record it, it was so surprising.  I said, maybe I need to chain smoke so I can have a voice like that.  It was totally unexpected and wonderful. Just one of the myriad characters who come through this magnet of a place.

The weather has cleared and turned cold.  It got down to 50 last night with a stiff breeze and the Thais are freezing, running around in winter jackets and gloves.  It's all relative, of course, and it's pretty funny because I know what Americans would think of this kind of 'cold'.  'You're kidding, right?'.  I actually put on a sweatshirt last night for the first time, glad I brought it.  Played my two hour gig at the restaurant without stopping, it was nice to just crank out song after song.  I'm singing about 4 or 5 songs in Spanish to mix it up a bit.  Playing a few instrumentals that I've written over the years, singing some jazz and folk, swing and a bunch of my originals.... setting a mood as the folks enjoy there dinner.  A perfect gig for me, couldn't be happier.  And that about sums it up for the stint in Chiang Mai as well.  Just plain happy, no drama, just living in the moment and enjoying the ride.

And PS I made my third visit to the dentist yesterday, spent 75 minutes in the chair getting a filling cleaned out and reset and then getting grinded in preparation for the second crown.  Once again it was a stellar experience... had the Thai music going, felt totally confident in the skill and focus of the dentist and her assistant, breathed deep like it was a yoga session, and it was the best dental experience of my life... Who knew?  Get the new crown on Friday and then I'll be done.  Highly recommended... maybe one fifth the price of the same service in the US but way more pleasant.  Lucky dog, indeed.

Hippie Dance Part Deux

Well it was totally worth it today, had some transcendent fun, took a yoga class, had a satisfying ecstatic dance and made some good connections, which was after all, what it was about for me.  And the best part of it was the unplanned part, in which I got to take the lead for a bit, and bring the music home.

The day started with a walk through town, which is a blast in itself, a one mile jaunt through the back streets of the old city, past temples, down alley ways, past a small outdoor market, it's totally charming to be off the main roads, hard to believe that a city this bustling has so many quiet and sweet alleys.

We did a little drum and guitar thing and people got dancing and clapping, raising the spirit, turned into a circle with folks stepping into the middle to show their moves, all good natured fun, the shy ones needing a little coaxing, but lots of smiles and applause.  We said names around the circle and then broke into our groups for the first session.  I took a yoga class from a Brit named Jan (guy), and I liked it a lot.  My body is coming around to yoga, and I'm feeling stronger and more able to do stuff, so it was good to start the day like that.  And there was a huge rainstorm during the class, just pouring and we were inside enjoying the sounds and the silence.

A great vegetarian lunch and some good hang out time with the group as we're getting to know each other a bit.  And during that period, I had my guitar out and was playing a song or two with some of the women near me.  I taught them 'Hey good lookin' and it sounded nice.  Now it's close to time for the next sessions, but between the rain and the camaraderie, no one wanted to split.  There was a newcomer there, a big Venezuelan woman named Maria who came in with a lot of noise, a lot of swagger, hugging her friends, making a big scene... one of those folks who seems to stir it up.  She was there to teach a 'laughter yoga' class, whatever that is, but she was into hanging out and singing and laughing.  Ditto with Dao who was supposed to teach a second massage class.

It just wasn't in the cards to break up the group and it turned into a major magical hour of songs, laughter, even a little massage as we realized we weren't going to follow the schedule, someone suggested we massage each other in a circle, which we did, then we did a little laughter stuff in the circle, falling back on one another and laughing.  Very goofy, very summer camp and pretty magical.  I was the house band for this period, someone suggested 'Down to the River and Pray',  we sang it, someone said, Three Little Birds and we played it, a couple of spirit songs, we sang them, I shared two of my simpler sing along songs and they both went over great.  'Shine a Light' and 'Walk Down the Middle'.  There was something about the energy of the group trumping the 'schedule' that was very freeing, and we all were super happy about that hour.  It was probably the highlight of the weekend for many of us... the fact that everyone had a chance to step up and lead, rather than follow the formula.  It was extemporaneous and full of joy.  Yeah!

And then there was another of the 'Dance Mandala' offerings, maybe 35 dancers, but this time there were some great percussionists in the room, guests for this particular event... the best players in Chiang Mai.  An Icelandic guy who is in town writing a book, a German guy who owns the best music store in town, and this little Thai dude, must have weighed 105 pounds, who just ripped it up on three congas.  Super Latin chops, and they worked well together, so the music was GREAT!  I'm still not a total fan of the self involved dance thing, I'd much rather connect with other dancers, but this event was very good and I got a good and satisfying dance in.  I split soon after, walked back through town, had some food at the Sunday Market, said hi at CU Corner and now I'm back at the Guest House ready to snooze.  One and a half hour dentist appt tomorrow, then an evening gig at the restaurant.  Hopefully my mouth won't be too sore.  Supposedly some of the folks from the workshop are gonna come have dinner and hear my set.  I hope so, that would be really fun to keep the energy going... Glauber is happy, this was a great weekend....So glad I stretched the boundary of what Chiang Mai is like.  There's no going back.  It's yoga and dance here now...

Hippie Dance (Chiang Mai edition)

Oh yeah, it's a new Glauber over here these days... out of the bars and into the yoga studio, or in this case, the 'Yoga Tree', which is a nice facility on the western edge of the old city, about a mile's walk from my guest house.  Yesterday was day one of a two day extravaganza of dance, yoga, ki gong, biodanza, drum circles, the whole gamut.  I had Googled 'Dance Chiang Mai' last week, and this event came up, so I decided to give it a try.

It's a $30 fee for the two days, but being the 'cautious' type (read 'I didn't want to get sucked into something I hated') I paid for only the first day so I could check it out.  The woman who greeted me, 'Myrtle' was nice, Dutch and very welcoming.  So far so good.  There were a couple of people playing drums and I grabbed my guitar and got in with them, chanting some, getting in the mood.

In the opening circle there were about 20 of us, a few Americans, some French, two Hungarians, a few Germans, a Canadian or two, one Thai (the organizer), a Korean, a South African, a Swiss... the majority were women and it was a nice group.  I had a good conversation with the Spanish guy, 42 yr old, Nataraj (he took an Indian name).  Nataraj was here to teach the Biodanza workshop so I went to check it out.  In Castilian Spanish 'Biodanza' is pronounced 'Bee oh don tha' and I found out that it came from Chile back in the 60s.  Nataraj has made his living from it for the past 10 years, mostly in Spain, but he just came back from his first gig in Dubai where they paid his airfare, put him up in a hotel for 3 days and paid a fee, all for a two hour class.  Jeez, some money in Dubai... but I digress.

It was a cool class, I liked it a lot, and why not, two guys (me and him) maybe 10 women, we did some moving around the circle stuff, some partner stuff, spirit movement etc.  I liked the soundtrack he used and it was a great way to connect with people.  a perfect warm up to the weekend.  And he was a great teacher, nice dancer and a good guy.  Made a nice connection with him, and since I'm the only person here who could communicate with him in Spanish, he said it felt like home when we were talking.   Really nice guy, looking forward to more conversation.

After a lunch break... they had prepared a veggie feast which we could buy into for $3.25 (I did), I went to the massage workshop taught by a French woman, who lives in Thailand now.  Her name is Dao, and she was also a great teacher.  There's something about being in the presence of excellent teaching that is quite exciting, and she was right on, from the intro to the finish.  She talked us through a one half hour massage that we would give to our partner and then vice versa.  She was demonstrating and we were copying.  Good stuff, I learned something about using gravity and breath in the work.  And Dao was excited that I teach music.  She wants her guitar playing, osteopath boyfriend to have a few lessons with me.  I'll meet him today.

Later there was a drum circle with about 10 of us that was pretty OK, lots of sensitivity and listening, and the finale was a 'Dance Mandala' event in the large room.  It was basically an ecstatic dance session but with the organizer talking throughout, saying things like, enter the temple, release the whatever, feel the blah blah blah.  Um, maybe just play some good music and let people dance, but hey, that's just me.  I thought it was kinda goofy, maybe egotistical to keep talking throughout.  I lasted about 45 minutes, people were mostly doing their own thing, not connecting... uh I'm kinda tired, time to split, so I did.

And yeah, I was tired, walked home through some light rain, it's been surprisingly rainy here during the 'dry season', rained hard last night and it's drizzling now.  Hmmm interesting.  I went to bed early, slept most of the night until 4:30am, tossed around for awhile, strummed some guitar, check the internet, and now it's cappuccino time.  Yup, I'm gonna go back for the second half today, it's just great to be in a different environment and to connect to some of the international dance crowd.  And it was good to move, my body is appreciative.  Did I say 'cappuccino'.  Ciao...

Friday the 13th in Chiang Mai

I don't know, I'm feeling mighty lucky lately, living it up in Chiang Mai, and by living it up, I don't mean anything about luxury or conspicuous consumption.  It's just having the time to settle into a groove, eat good food, take yoga classes, make music in the evenings, write some songs, have interesting conversations, read good books.  Yup, living like a retired person, I think I'd be pretty good at it.  And like I've said forever, 'I'll never have enough money for a retirement, might as well retire now'  So I did.

Took my third yoga class this morning and it's a real nice way to organize the morning.  Coffee at 7, read a bit, stretch a bit then class at 9am.  I'm interested to see what 10 classes will do to me, will it increase my flexibility and strength, improve the breathing?  (my breathing has been very good over here, in spite of the field burning which has seemed to begin earlier than in the past).  Usually December is clear,but not this year...I can barely make out Doi Suthep and the hill to the west of town from my bedroom balcony.  Should be much clearer.

Last night I played a 2 hour gig at the restaurant, earned my $23 plus about $7 in tips, ate a delicious meal on the house, and damn, that is such a great spot for me.  Got a nice little sound system at the place, I get to sit on a padded stool and play background music, sometimes come forward if the mood strikes, play a wide range of stuff including plenty of originals, basically set a mood that is comfortable for the diners.  The staff (all Burmese) are super nice to me, very helpful and appreciative, smiling, filling up the water glass, putting out the tip jar and being friendly.  A bunch of these gigs coming up this month and I feel very lucky to be in this position.  Plus it's a great opportunity to practice my vocals, pull out old songs, basically hold forth.

Off to the dentist today to put the crown on... hopefully it fits just right, and if so, we'll start on the other one and a filling that she thinks I need to deal with.  Also lucky on that front.  quality dentistry at a fraction of the US price.  A guy could get used to this.

I know it sounds like I'm bragging some, but inside I'm feeling very humble, lots of gratitude.  I guess I'm putting out the right vibe, because people are treating me very well.  Humble and appreciative.  Gracias.

Feeling lucky

I guess I'm really settling in to being here, and it feels great.  I stumbled into the piece de resistence this morning as i was having that delicious breakfast of rice soup (with minced pork), fresh fruit and good coffee.  I noticed a few people passing by with yoga mats, so I took a look down the lane to see where they were heading.  After breakfast I went to have a look and sure enough, there was a yoga class just getting underway.  I wasn't really prepared for it, had just eaten and all, but not too much, so I decided to try it.  Emma is one of those yoga goddess types, beautiful from Taiwan, and her class was just perfect for me, challenging but not too, and it felt great.  I signed up for a 10 class card, as she teaches every morning at 9, and the location is perfect, easy walking distance, and I felt very invigorated and grounded after it was over.  I think this is the perfect complement to lots of walking and swimming.  It's a meditation and a full body workout for under $5/class with the card. 

Afterwards I walked over to my friend Noi's new coffee shop... she used to be 100 meters from Royal Guest House where I stay, but they jacked her rent, so she moved to the western part of the old city.  Still easy walking distance, and she's a friend, so I go every few days.  I know some of the regulars and it's a good scene.  And that's part of the greatness of Chiang Mai, lots of interesting characters every where you turn.  I talked to a 49 year old Brit named Simon who has left the carpentry and building trade in England to study Thai on a student visa here.  He's also drawing and painting a lot, showed me some of his work on the Iphone and we had a good chat.  Then I played some music with a couple of young guys, Erkan from Turkey and Maxime from France.  Erkan is a good singer and he wanted me to play the Miley Cyrus song Wrecking Ball, so with the help of his Iphone we got the chords and lyrics and voila, off we go.  I had to transpose it for him and he sang it great.  (this is how the old guy, me, keeps current with some new songs...fun).  The two young guys will come by CU Corner tonight as I'll likely be jamming there around 9pm.

Then I walked west to find the 'Yoga Tree' where this weekend's dance event is happening... found it, picked up a schedule, there was no one around to buy a ticket from, but that's not gonna be a problem.... Then back through town, down one winding street after another... that's a big part of the beauty of this place.  Even though it's a big city, the old city is composed of many narrow, quiet lanes where folks live, set up little stands of food, soup, pad thai, whatever, and it's exceedingly pleasant to walk through town, walk past the temples which are everywhere, get some shade, enjoy life... Yup, enjoying it big time today... Time for a swim, a nap and then some music tonight.  Feeling quite lucky...

Grind...

As in grind my tooth to prepare it to receive the cap that will go on in 3 days.  I went for my dental appt thinking it was just for a consult.  Showed up 5 minutes early, took my shoes off, which is the custom here, went upstairs and the dentist was waiting for me along with her assistant.  She was a different one than the doctor I saw last week, but she was also extremely professional, good English skills and very nice.  She took a look, read the xrays and laid out the possibilities, including prices.  I had a few questions and then we came up with a plan, at which point she said, 'We have 45 minutes, I can grind the tooth and take the impression for to make the crown'.  Uh OK... here comes the needle...

There was some pain, not much during the procedure, a little bit afterward as the novocaine wore off, but what I remember most is looking up into two pairs of black almond eyes and realizing that dentistry was never quite like this before.  They worked well together, quickly and efficiently and I was out of there within the hour, having paid half of the final bill.  $162.50 from my debit card.  Such a deal.

Came home, swam and exercised some, then went up to take a nap at 4pm or so, like usual, but I just stayed in bed until 2am, woke up a few times in there but didn't feel like leaving the room, maybe the pain and the procedure zapped me pretty good.  Read some more of the Toni Morrison book 'Beloved', then figured hell, I'm up, let's do the city walk at 4am, the quietest part of the day.  So I did.

It's about a 4 mile square hike around the old city.  my quadrant is where the lady boy street walkers hang out and try to find 'dates'.  All night long apparently.  I'm on the SE side of the city.  Around to the south, there is a big food scene going on at Chiang Mai gate, I guess it's the 'all night restaurant' of the city.  There are other places open, of course, but at Chiang Mai gate there are many vendors all set up with deep fried stuff, curries, fruits, all kinds of food.  Good to know...

I saw a few joggers, about a dozen people sleeping, bunch of rats scurrying around the moat, they call them 'Chiang Mai squirrels'.  Mostly it was a great time to get the best air possible for the jaunt.  Few cars, no busses or vans, it was blissful.  Then back to the room to sleep, but not really sleepy.  I was thinking about my song 'This one's different' and as I lay in the dark, some lyrics came to me so I'd sit up and write em down.  And now the song is done, so on to the next.

I had a thought to talk to Thaew about the songs I write.  I heard third hand that some Thais were offended at what they perceived to be insulting lyrics that made fun of them.  It's not true, of course, I wouldn't deliberately do that.   I will make fun of Farang however.  It's mostly a language barrier problem, and there's a cultural component as well.  I don't think irony is part of the palette here, but I do want to talk to Thaew (owner of CU Corner) and let her know my thoughts.  And then she'll be able to explain to any of her customers if they have a problem that no, he's not making fun of us... he's making fun of the Farang.  It's worth a try anyway, and she and I have had some good talks over the years.  Feels like a good time for the next one.   Here's the lyric to 'This one's different'  It's kind of an old timey tune with that ragtime cadence...

She's not after my money, this one's different
She swears I'm sweet as honey, yes she's different
You can say what you're gonna say
But this one's different in every way
I'll tell it til my dying day
This one's different

Don't say I'm a fool, this one's different
I want to put her kid through school, yes she's different
There's no hint of a scam
We go together like toast and jam
She loves me for who I am
This one's different

I guess love affairs are hard, this is no different
Why'd I give her my credit card? look at what she spent
Oh for heaven's sake, I'm afraid I mighta made a big mistake
Guess I got to make a break, I thought she was different

Hey fellas it's your fault, you're not innocent
Hell ya better call a halt before you're indigent
You can sing your song of woe
You can swear up and down that you didn't know
But you'll reap just what you sow when ya think 'she's different'

Boys you can take the blame
You might win the battle but lose the game
You'll see it turn out the same, Same Same but different

Court Musician

I'm feeling a bit like a court musician playing for the royals at Dash Restaurant, owned by my friend Noi.  She's a 60 year old Thai woman who at a young age, came to the States, got a good education, and eventually married a man 16 years her senior, a Jewish musician/producer named Peter Tevis.  I'll need to google him to find out about his career, but I gather that his greatest success was in the producer chair, and apparently he left her quite well off.  He died some years ago of Parkinson's and now Noi lives 6 months in Chiang Mai and 6 months in Seattle.  And she created one of the best restaurants in Chiang Mai, great looking, incredible food and reasonably priced.  They got a bunch of great reviews on Tripadvisor.com and they do an excellent business.  It's called Dash Teak House, the 'Dash' being in honor of her son, Dashiel, 24 or so, who is helping run the operation.

Dash is right around the corner from CU Corner so I would always wave as I passed, sometimes grab a guitar and hold forth over there, make up stuff, get some laughs, and Noi would ask if I wanted to play at the restaurant.  But it never seemed like a good idea, I didn't have the right axe, so I always demurred.  But this year is different, partly because Mark and I hosted Noi for an evening when she was driving through Eugene, and that interaction put us in a different kind of friendship.  She was appreciative, talks about how she called from the road and asked if I could recommend a decent hotel in Eugene, and of course I invited her to spend the night in our guest room.  'He said he'll even clean the bathroom for me' is how she relates the tale.  So now we're buddies, and I don't call her 'Imelda' anymore, which was my nickname for the way she ran the show over here.  It feels like we're friends.  And what a great friend to have here!

So now I'm playing two nights a week for pretty good money and an incredible meal.  The staff is treating my like FON (friend of Noi) and it's a sweet set-up.  I'm playing the music 'for free' in case anyone asks, because it's not OK for foreigners to make money and take away Thai jobs.  I get to hang out for a couple of hours, play a bunch of songs, make up some stuff... whether they need live music is a question, but it's not up to me.  And if Noi likes it, awesome.  She was telling me that she could feel Peter looking down from heaven and enjoying the scene, and that my playing reminded me of him, the material, the singing, so there is something special going on for her (and for me) in this gig.  It definitely puts a new slant on the music scene here, and it's a welcome change from the familiar (and old man vibe) at CU Corner.  Happy about it.

And along with the new slant, I Googled 'Dance Chiang Mai' last night, hoping to find a way to include dance in my life here.  That's always been a bit of a jarring change, dancing all the time in Eugene, and none of the time in Asia.  And what's this, a weekend dance experience with all different kinds of stuff going on, ecstatic, ki gong, yoga, 'breathing earth meditation' yup, it's the hippies, and for $30 I'm going to sign up and take a bunch of classes, hopefully connect with the ecstatic dance scene here, whatever that might look like, and find a way to have dance be in the mix.  Very excited about that development.  I'm ready to take my focus out of the bar and into the studio.

I'm feeling healthy, not a toke, not a drag of a cigarette, (damn, they smoke a lot here) good food, lots of walking (though the air ain't great).  I'm still at the Royal Guest House and I swim every day, do some calisthenics, but I'm still carrying around my US body, rather than slimming into the Asian version.  It'll probably happen eventually.  But nothing hurts and I'm feeling lucky as hell to be able to do this thing again.  The only downside... I miss somebody a lot. a lot a lot a lot.

Making the turn...

Well everything changed yesterday... for the better.  It started when I wrote about the discouragement, got it out of my head and onto the screen.  Then I had a fantastic skype conversation with the lovely (and amazing) Julie, felt the connection and my spirits lifted in a big way.  I kinda have a sense at this point that when I get a lot of negative feeling about something, that it's an opportunity to find some new truth, or maybe remember some old truth, and if I explore it enough, the truth will reveal.  And the energy will turn.  And it did....

Met up with the old guys for a walk around the city, this could be a daily jaunt... 6km loop, traffic buzzing by, but whatever, it's still outdoors and scenic and the body likes to move.  Plus we get to catch up on the news of the day, gossip, enjoy each other's company.  Then a cup of tea, a swim and for me, it's then nap time.  I sleep maybe 5 hours in the night time, so I use the late afternoon as the supplementary rest period... read the book, fall asleep, then get ready for the evening.

And that was a big highlight yesterday, particularly after the debacle of the night before.  (see previous post).  On this day, I was going to do my first gig at a nice restaurant and we were gonna see if it was a good fit.  Had some sound problems at the beginning, the cord to the guitar didn't work, had to play guitar into a microphone old school style, and it took a little time to dial it in and get a feedback free sound.  Sorry to the diners who had to hear the set-up, it wasn't pretty.  And I was feeling awkward, not quite knowing the equipment, wondering if I should just pack it in and forget about it.  But once the sound was OK, and I loosened up, hey it's just music, have some fun, try some things, gauge the response and then try some more things. 

And the more I played the better it went.  There were people clapping, and singing along, a few got up to dance, many smiles, the owners were happy, it went well.  One of the tables near me was really into it.  Turns out that he is 84 (looks 65), a guy named Richmond Shepard, father of Vonda Shepard who used to sing at the end of the Allie McBeal show.  Richard worked as a mime and theater guy, still teaches and travels the world.  His wife, didn't catch her name is a prolific author who writes about the New York theater scene... books about Joseph Papp, David Merrick and others... Accomplished New Yorker old timers, I said, you guys are a couple of swells... (NY term from back in the day).  They were totally into my shtick, if felt awesome.  At the next table was an older Dutch couple and they were digging it too,  calling out songs which I could play... so much fun.  And then some girls started dancing and damn, it was perfect.  Especially when the boss said he wanted me to come play twice a week (and the money is good... shhhhh it's under the table, not allowed to make money here if you're a foreign musician).  And they want me to play a big party on Christmas Eve as well, so suddenly I have a chance to make some cash and have a great venue... feels really nice.   shhhhh

The other good news was that I wrote a note to my buddy who I had been struggling with and I guess I took the right tack, because he heard me, responded well, and now we're good again... that's a relief... got to hang on to the good friends...

And there was even a nice late night set at the CU where I got to jam with some young Frenchmen who play well, and then we were joined by a great singer from Seattle who blew the room away on some blues... Yup, it turned and after my first week here, I finally feel like I landed.... ahhhh

Well finally something to write about...

Yup that was me at the microphone last night in the noisy, non-paying attention cacophony of the CU Corner.  I got the feeling that I could have sung any damn words at all and it would have made exactly zero difference... after all, who's paying attention to the music.  It's just background for the loud conversations that everyone is having.  And I felt something get triggered... some kind of 'what's the use, I'm too old for this shit' vibe that I have found to be a dangerous one over the years.  I actually did make up a couple of verses about what's the use of singing for a bunch of drunks when it doesn't matter anyway and no one even registered a flicker of recognition that things were out of the ordinary.  White noise...

The worst is when a couple of people who had allegedly come to see me perform were sitting real close to the mic and were having a loud conversation with their new friend as I was singing 5 feet away.  That level of insensitivity and lack of awareness is kind of mind blowing to me, but I guess it's just the way things are these days.

So it helped me access my 'diva state' which is to feel insulted, offended, frustrated etc, and all the more so because I had been spending time preparing for this night, made a list of songs I wanted to do, warmed up my voice, got in the right state of mind to share, and was then met with the hopeless and useless wall of noise and indifference.  A pretty good version of hell for the likes of me.  It's just not what I do.

And of course, the feelings of anger and the desire to run the fuck away from here tell me that there is some potent material in this stuff, and for the first time in my week on the road, I'm anxious to dig in and see what I can find.

Coupled with the sense of uselessness I experienced last night is the lousy interaction I've been having with my 'friend' J, or at least I thought he was my friend.  He's a guy I've known over the years here and we've had lots of conversations about relationships, wordplay, heart to heart stuff.  This time around, I've found him to be relentlessly cynical in my direction, making fun of my 'messiah complex', making fun of my facebook posts about the light and the spirit and the good vibes which are certainly a theme in what I post.  (and at this point, the computer I was using crashed and I thought I had lost the previous paragraphs... a perfect metaphor for how it's been going lately).  But fortunately the blogger site saves as I write, so here on this new computer, I can continue...

And that's a pretty apt metaphor as well... step away, take a break, enforced or otherwise, and then wade back in.  So here I am.  (Hineni, said Moses... here I am)  here I am...

That thing with the friend is so tied in with family of origin hurts and it's part of what made me realize that I couldn't live in NY, had to get away from the accusations about being an egotist and attention seeker.  I am those things on some level... maybe all of us are, but my desire for connection and light and special communication are the basis of who I am... not to make myself better than others, but to connect, to get to the place of 'Here we are'.  And all the drinks and I phones and cigarettes and cynicism serve to block out that light, keep it fragmented and hidden.  Sorry, that ain't what I do.  I know that it's true and I know that I'm here to serve the light and the connection.  It's a fact.  I serve therefore I am... Servito ergo sum...

The best part of last night was playing bass with my Thai friend, Apple.  It's that effortless, pro musician communication which we've always had, and it's akin to 'love'.  There is eye contact, knowledge of what the other is doing, the ability to follow... heavenly.  We're friends and his English is such that we don't have much to talk about... it's in the music, and it's real.  If we get a moment, I want his opinion on how he is able to play for folks who aren't listening and keep his good humor and equanimity.  I have a feeling there is something big to learn there.

At one point, owner Thaew came up and told Apple that Claire was going to sing a song, and that our set was over.  Claire is a young Brit who was leaving Chiang Mai in a day or so, and this party was in her honor.  She said she just wanted to sing, not play, so I ended up accompanying her on guitar.  I asked her what she wanted to sing and she said 'Leaving on a Jet Plane'.  I said let me hear where you want it... sing a bit, so she did.  I found the key and off we went.  Her voice was beautiful and expressive, she closed her eyes put her whole soul into it... and still the people were talking.  They couldn't take a minute to STFU and listen to the woman who the party was honoring.  (allegedly)  And I played as sweetly as I could, accompanied her well, and it was a beautiful moment, at least on stage... With the voices in the background talking talking talking.

Afterward I was sitting with some friends, drinking a glass of wine.  J was chatting up a cute Thai woman who teaches English at an elementary school.  I asked about coming in to visit and doing a few songs with the kids.  She was into it, J said something snide about it, somehow belittling my desire to connect with the local kids......Dude we have to talk, this ain't gonna work.  After this entry, I'm gonna write him the non-violent communication version of 'don't be fucking with me if you want to be my friend'.  I'd rather do that than stew silently and separate emotionally... I like the guy, he's one of the reasons I was excited to come back to Chiang Mai.  We shall see...  Here I am...

The wheat from the chaff

Is it enough to just enjoy life, not feel the need to accomplish something?  In my case, probably not, though I'd rarely be mistaken for a Type A personality.  But now that I'm in Thailand, I have the niggling thought that I need to create, to dive inside, put some things together, write some lyrics, come up with something new, in a word, to create.  So I'll sit down here with basically nothing to say, and see if anything emerges.

And right away, I have the realization that the true creation comes from honesty... and as long as I'm wanting to censor my thoughts, not reveal too much, it's as though there is a filter on the source of the magic.  Hmmm it's quite the dilemma.  And I'm not the first one to face it.  But in the past, I've been burned by revealing too much, speaking too candidly.  But maybe that's not true either, though it seemed like it at the time.

A couple of years ago I was writing quite honestly about a relationship with my Thai girlfriend, the ups and the downs, the drinking, the 'connection', the love, the money, the whole experience.  It was therapeutic for me, and entertaining for my few readers.  But there were some repercussions down the line.  For one, the woman (former Facebook friend) who runs the stage I played on at Country Fair, came to the conclusion that I couldn't be a 'kids entertainer' and write about adult stuff, and she used that as a major reason why I didn't get the gig I had been used to in the past.  I thought it was a totally bullshit move on her part... especially where she said that she showed my blog to some other folks from the fair and they all agreed with her perception.  Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy, not one of those folks would have had any possibility of reading what I wrote, other than for the fact of her sharing it, and then to use that as a pretext... like I say, 'bullshit move'.  Like I say, 'former Facebook friend'.

And along the same lines, but more understandably... I had a relationship going with a woman in Eugene last year, and she was fine with me going to Thailand for the winter.... until she started reading the blog from the previous year... and that freaked her out and she was convinced that I was 'still in love with M' and that was the end of that.  She couldn't deal with that thought, even though I had broken up with M in order to keep things clean and neat for the new relationship... or so I thought.  It was another example of the one-plus-one equals zero theory that I have about relationships.  Oh so true in this case.

But in retrospect, did I really need that Country Fair gig?  No I didn't... it had run its course and I don't miss that Bacchanal in July.  And was that relationship going to survive?  No it wasn't, as there was a 'communication' issue throughout the months and that would have crushed it eventually.  This was just a shortcut to the inevitable end.  Not a pleasant one, to be sure, but whatever, it was the right thing.

The point being that maybe my thought that I got 'burned' by revealing too much is incorrect.  Maybe it actually helped me separate the wheat from the chaff.

The older I get, the more I want to give

Day 4 out of 100 begins with an early wake-up (as usual) and a walk around the corner for the morning cappuccino.  What?!  She's not there?!  Ah no problem, I'm hyper enough at the moment.  My sleep is totally whack so far, up most of the night, wanting to sleep from the late afternoon into the evening.  And ya know what?  It doesn't make a difference since I'm not working at the moment and a guy like that can sleep in any of the 24 hours that he chooses.

What does make a difference is some chest discomfort I had yesterday afternoon... not severe but slightly worrisome, and once the worry and adrenaline kick in, then it's easy to get more worried.  It probably is the way I'm gonna depart this plane, if family history be a guide (and it be), but I'm hoping that it's not for a long long time.  Let's see, paternal grandfather, check, maternal grandfather, check, father (some heart issues) hmmm.  Well I'm pretty healthy in my choices so here's hoping.  Anyhow, when I go back to the States I'll sign up for Obamacare and actually be able to see a doctor.  The only time I've ever had health insurance as an adult is the brief period I was married in Canada.  I've been very lucky so far, but we knew that.

And on the health front, I took my friend Toby's advice and visited the Elite Dental Clinic which is fifteen minutes down the road.  I had busted a tooth in Eugene a couple of weeks ago and figured that it would be way better to take care of it here, so I have an appointment for 11am this morning.  A free visit to assess the situation and then we'll make a plan.  And wow, I think I'll get a good teeth cleaning as well.  It's probably been ten years, but I just can't get with the American Dental Establishment anymore.  I made that decision after spending $2000 cash to get a crown put in, and it failed within 3 years.  When I went back to the dentist, he shrugged his shoulders and said, 'nothing lasts forever'.  In my mind I replied, yeah fuck you.  That was my last visit.  Makes total sense to do stuff here, so I will.

I brought my good guitar over here this year... a slight risk because you never know what's gonna happen on a plane, but it was all smooth and now I'm set up with a pro guitar which is a nice thing to have on this side of the world.  Tonight I'll play at the weekly 'Yummy Pizza' jam, thanks to a phone call from my buddy John (the most interesting man in the world) Fengler, who will drive me out there and probably roll some video of a song or two.  They like my stuff over here, so it makes him look good to bring in a ringer for this gig.  Looking forward to it.  And Noi, who owns the uber successful 'Dash Restaurant' in Chiang Mai, has asked me to play a few nights of background music for her diners.  That's a paying gig, and one of the reasons it's good to have a pro guitar.  I'll leave out the Boom Boom and Happy Finnish Girls material, and be a little more Tin Pan Alley and standard stuff.  (but some originals for sure).  That's a nice gig.  Noi is a Thai woman who lives half the year here and half in Seattle, and last summer I put her up for a night when she was coming through Eugene, gave her a place to stay and took her to dinner... payback time :-)

And since I've set it up that this trip is 100 days, it seems like a good idea to have some kind of a theme going.  What's it all about, what's the purpose?  I know that it's not to just consume and focus on myself, although there is certainly some of that.  But the older I get, the more I want to give.  And so I do.   It can take a lot of forms, many of them musical ones.  The other night, we were jamming in CU Corner and it's as simple as leaving space for Jelly to play his tin whistle solo while I'm on guitar.  We'll be singing the song and then when it's time for the solo, I'll quiet way down, the focus goes to him, he gets to shine.  (I wish more musicians understood this truth... to play quietly so others can shine... sigh). 

And when I was sitting and drinking my noodle soup and the tiny old lady came by, going to every table looking for a handout, I realized that I had a pocketful of change, so here's most of it.  I know she needed it, if she was able to sit around in a comfortable place, I'm sure that she would...I think I'm gonna do that on a regular basis... keep change on me for the beggars.  It's way better than judgment... Yup.  OK, off to a cappuccino and I'll hang on to the change for later...

One hundred days...

Got my feet on the ground in Asia again, and it feels excellent... And once again I'm reminded of why I'm here... it's not about 'adventure' or finding new challenges, discovering idyllic villages, the perfect beach, climbing mountains, riding the zipline through the jungle etc.  It's about retreat.  From television, from professional sports, from the so-called news of the day, from being Rich Glauber in Eugene, from my laptop, from dance class, from the phone, from the normal every day life that I enjoy in Eugene.  Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent life that I get to lead, but it's so great to step outside of it and have a look at other ways of being.

And here I am back in Chiang Mai, at the Royal Guest House where I've hung out for parts of the last three winters, over to the Lost Book Shop, run by the witty Irishman, George.  He tells me that it was supposed to be called 'the Last Book Shop' but when the sign arrived, they had gotten it wrong, and he decided, what the hell, "Lost Book Shop'' sounds pretty good too, so the name stuck.  George is assisted by Joy, a tiny and very intelligent Thai woman who I've gotten to know over the years.  She told me about some Aussie guy who had ripped them off for a couple of books, and when she confronted him, he slapped her in the face.  And then she went into wild woman mode, grabbed stuff off the desk and flung it in his face hyper speed, went for the hammer and he took off.  She had some store video of the exchange and when she played it for me, all the customers came over to have a look.  Great TV!  Joy is awesome... probably weighs 95 pounds but she was a dervish.

Yes, it's a retreat for me here, great food everywhere, Thai massage everywhere, a swimming pool at the guest house where I do my laps, a spartan room on the 4th floor with a bed, a desk, a light and a bathroom with hot water shower, for under $10/night.  It's a time to read and to reflect, to play a lot of guitar, work on songwriting, perform at the CU Corner for friends and the public.  There's something great about waking up in the middle of the night, and instead of reaching for the radio or the computer, reaching for a book or the guitar.  My mind is way more engaged and that's what this is about.

I feel super lucky about the whole thing.  Lucky that I get to be an American with these kind of choices, lucky that I've got a certain skill (plus 40 years of practice) that opens doors and lets me connect with others and with myself.  Music is endless, and it's cumulative... stuff I worked on years ago gets to come out here.  I'm reminded of an interview that I heard with Jerry Seinfeld in which he talked about how great it is to 'have material', to have stuff that's been tested and refined and 'works'.  I've got that satisfaction as well, it feels very good.  And it's cumulative.... that Ray Charles stuff I worked on this year... it's gonna get played and enjoyed here.  That 'Mock Me Rama' birthday song I wrote in August... it's gonna get played and enjoyed... that Hank Williams stuff from last year.... same same... that 'We've Got It' swing thing I wrote for the Reach Center fundraiser... same same.  Cumulative...

When I looked at my dates for the trip, I realized that it was 100 days on the road, and something about that number was pleasing.  Sounds way better than three months and ten days or whatever.  One hundred days feels more understandable... one day at a time... times a hundred.

What not to do with animals...

Don't play poker with a squid
You'll never keep track of all the cards that he hid
It's not too funny when you lose all your money
Don't play poker with a squid

You shouldn't play soccer with a mule
You might get hurt and miss a week of school
You'll be lying in the grass when he kicks you in the ...leg
Don't play soccer with a mule

Don't play hopscotch with a kangaroo
He'll win right away, it's sad but it's true
Then you'll feel bad, or maybe hopping mad
Don't play hopscotch with a kangaroo

Don't ever babysit for a monkey
He'll make a big mess and your house will smell funky
He will climb on your head and he'll never go to bed
Don't ever babysit for a monkey

Don't take a bath with an electric eel
Clean is not the only thing you will feel
In your little birthday suit, you'll be so electro-cute
Don't take a bath with an electric eel

Don't see-saw with a Saint Bernard
Getting up would be easy, getting down would be hard
If you want a fun ride, you might try the slide
Don't see-saw with a Saint Bernard

Don't kid around with a cockatoo
Ya just don't know what a cockatoo could do
From everything I've heard, he's a sensitive bird
Don't kid around with a cockatoo

Don't do the limbo with a poisonous snake
If you go that low, your back could break
You might win the battle, uh oh, what's that rattle?
Don't do the limbo with a poisonous snake

I wouldn't tell a joke to a giraffe?
Her neck is so long, you might not hear the laugh
Some jokes are hard to follow, this may be hard to swallow
Don't tell a joke to a giraffe

Please don't argue with a lion
You might make a point
Or you may die tryin'
Just let it ride, forget your foolish pride
Please don't argue with a lion

12151