Gus Russell is a great piano player who is also an expert in recording, arranging and technology. More importantly, he's a dream to work with, easygoing and really good at what he does. He's got a big talent and a small ego, which is a great combination IMHO. Gus is the go-to guy when I think of starting a project.
I'm not entirely sure what the project is, but I do have the urge to record many of the songs which I wrote in Asia, so that's what we have begun. Gus has a small office with a nice keyboard/computer set up, and he's a whiz at navigating the technology and getting the music recorded and logged. He's a much better piano player than me, so what a treat to be more of a producer and less of a player (at this stage). I'll be laying in the bass parts at least, and likely more. But for now, I'm trying to get double value out of Gus, in that he's the pianist and the engineer. That's a very good use of $40/hr. And his playing is great!
So far we have begun 5 songs. Four are pretty jazzy, and one is a ballad. The jazz tunes are 'Happy Finnish Girls' (uptempo swing), 'Because I Want You' (Fats Waller style old time), 'One Little Glance' (Big Band, Tony Bennett style swing) and 'American Song' (almost barbershop). The ballad is a love song, 'All I Want This Holiday'.
That's the one song that Gus didn't particularly care for, his feedback was that the lyrics were kind of 'schmaltz'. Funny word from a goy, but nevertheless... He said that the melody was good, but he might have been trying to blow some smoke. He said it didn't sound like a Glauber tune. I'm not at all bothered by the critique, as I think it's a very commercial song, and as I've never actually marketed any of my material, this one strikes me as something to record and try to sell. To me it's almost like a Disney Channel love ballad, could be the background to an animated scene. I think I need to find a young female vocalist to record the lead. It seems like a girl song, or a girl/boy duet.
All I Want This Holiday
I don't need a flower, I don't need a sign
You don't have to ask me would I be your Valentine
But to have you love me just the way you do
All I want this holiday is you
I don't need a stocking hanging by the tree
You don't have to promise that one day you'll marry me
But to know your loving arms and that your heart is true
All I want this holiday is you
Leaves fall to the ground, seasons go round and round
In an hourglass of time
Winter is cold and rain, summer come sun again
To make the sweetest berry on the vine
I don't need a birthday card, I sure don't need a cake
There's no finer present than to see you when I wake
And hold you close to me when the day is through
All I want this holiday is you
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tomorrow we'll spend another couple of hours cleaning up some keyboard parts before loading them onto a CD which I will import into Rob's studio. That's where I'll do vocals and bass parts, and it will go from there. This is certainly a positive sign, the fact that I made a good effort early in the return to Eugene. It feels especially essential to be creatively productive here and now. Vamos!
Up and Down and All Around
I seem to be the opposite of the 'Walk Down the Middle' philosophy which I've been espousing the past two months, so perhaps it would be wise to have that idea more in the forefront of my mind, especially as emotions take hold. Make that mental note, Richard. OK done.
I had a very fine lunch with Mike Meyer on Tuesday, and he gave me a great tip vis a vis this new cabaret idea. He likened it to something he had heard from the Minister at Unity of the Valley Church, who was looking to do something in a similar vein. So voila, that would be a perfect connection as that venue is the best possible one for this type of project. (not to mention the fact that it's around the corner from my house. It also has a nice low stage, a big and wide versatile room that could comfortably hold 200 people, great sound system and a big adjoining kitchen. So the goal of this post is to draft an introductory letter to the minister, after which I'll contact him for a chat. Here's what I sent in a letter...
To Ed Conrad (and the good folks at Unity of the Valley)
From Rich Glauber performer/song leader/educator
Re: Mike Meyer suggested that I contact you about a new idea
Hi Ed,
I'm contacting you after a conversation with Mike Meyer, during which your name came up. I was running an idea past Mike for a new kind of 'spiritual cabaret' that would combine short (and excellent) performances with group singing, a story, some focused social interactions (breaking into duets and quartets) and more, all of which would have a positive/spirit focus. The idea is to create something new and engaging, which would meet the needs of the multi-faceted population that lives here in Eugene/Springfield.
Mike mentioned that you had approached him recently with a similar idea, so he suggested that I contact you and see if you’d like to collaborate in some way.
My thought is to bring together in one evening a good reflection of who we are, and what we would enjoy. We like to laugh, to sing, to meet new people, to learn, to celebrate, and we can do all of it in the same evening. I would love to produce it and work collaboratively with like-minded others.
Unity of the Valley is probably the best place in town for this type of thing. The room is so versatile, with great sound. There could be a food component, and the kitchen is a great asset. Plus you attract the type of people who would like this type of event. It's just the perfect place. (I live around the corner on West Amazon)
I see it as a 90 minute event, perhaps 7:30-9 on a Saturday evening, and I'm imagining one per month. Would you like to have a conversation about it? Take care, and here’s hoping….
Rich Glauber
4000 West Amazon Drive
541-554-4707 (cell)
Richglauber@yahoo.com
My website is at Richglauber.com
I had a very fine lunch with Mike Meyer on Tuesday, and he gave me a great tip vis a vis this new cabaret idea. He likened it to something he had heard from the Minister at Unity of the Valley Church, who was looking to do something in a similar vein. So voila, that would be a perfect connection as that venue is the best possible one for this type of project. (not to mention the fact that it's around the corner from my house. It also has a nice low stage, a big and wide versatile room that could comfortably hold 200 people, great sound system and a big adjoining kitchen. So the goal of this post is to draft an introductory letter to the minister, after which I'll contact him for a chat. Here's what I sent in a letter...
To Ed Conrad (and the good folks at Unity of the Valley)
From Rich Glauber performer/song leader/educator
Re: Mike Meyer suggested that I contact you about a new idea
Hi Ed,
I'm contacting you after a conversation with Mike Meyer, during which your name came up. I was running an idea past Mike for a new kind of 'spiritual cabaret' that would combine short (and excellent) performances with group singing, a story, some focused social interactions (breaking into duets and quartets) and more, all of which would have a positive/spirit focus. The idea is to create something new and engaging, which would meet the needs of the multi-faceted population that lives here in Eugene/Springfield.
Mike mentioned that you had approached him recently with a similar idea, so he suggested that I contact you and see if you’d like to collaborate in some way.
My thought is to bring together in one evening a good reflection of who we are, and what we would enjoy. We like to laugh, to sing, to meet new people, to learn, to celebrate, and we can do all of it in the same evening. I would love to produce it and work collaboratively with like-minded others.
Unity of the Valley is probably the best place in town for this type of thing. The room is so versatile, with great sound. There could be a food component, and the kitchen is a great asset. Plus you attract the type of people who would like this type of event. It's just the perfect place. (I live around the corner on West Amazon)
I see it as a 90 minute event, perhaps 7:30-9 on a Saturday evening, and I'm imagining one per month. Would you like to have a conversation about it? Take care, and here’s hoping….
Rich Glauber
4000 West Amazon Drive
541-554-4707 (cell)
Richglauber@yahoo.com
My website is at Richglauber.com
Lost my Confidence... how to get it back?
Hit a real crash point yesterday, and if this is what it means to come back home, uh no thanks. Part of it was hearing M on the phone, as she called me at 6:45 am (her time) as she was coming home after going out drinking and eating with some American dude after her shift. I couldn't tell if she was drunk, as our conversation got cut short. My guess was that her card ran out, so one minute she was there, one minute she was gone, but not before I got the basic scenario. She's out and about, doing her thing. I said, "is he there with you?" and she says no, he's back at his room, I'm in my room. But it doesn't take much imagination to conjure up the picture or what is to come in the near future. So I have to let that lovely fantasy go... you know, the one in which I found a great woman with which to build something wonderful.
In her last email, she was asking me for clarity, 'Am I waiting for you'?, and I get the sense that maybe she's got something simmering with the next guy, and is looking for the green light. I gave it to her, and to myself, because from this distance, come on, let's be real, I know that I don't have it in me to wait for her, not with all the uncertainty about who she is, but more with the certainty of who I am, a guy who likes women and doesn't seem to have the monogamy gene anywhere nearby. I told her that she's free, I'm free, and not because I don't love her. It's because I'd rather lose her than be in a position in which I thought I had to lie to cover up who I am.
So there's some 'letting go' that is happening, and it's not too pleasant. When she called me up and described where she'd been, (out drinking til dawn with some guy) my heart started beating really fast, kind of like it's wanting to do now. Feels like a primal jealous reaction that would trump any brilliant justifications about distance and timing and all the other stuff we amuse ourselves with. This is more basic, 'somebody is stealing my canoe... KILL' (It's a sickening feeling, but I'm gonna 'let it come and let it go' which is part of the hook for a song that came to me the other day. That line feels really good to me, along with the line that precedes it, 'Gonna walk down the middle, let it come and let it go'. It's a distillation of the Buddhist energy that I've been working with for the past couple of months. Keep to the middle way, experience the feelings, but don't hang on to them. Ah what a blessing, I got to practice what I preach (he said sarcastically). But it's true, and it is a blessing, even if it's running crimson... (breathe, motherfucker)
Between the M news and some other lousy personal interactions, mostly self-inflicted, I'm finding myself with low self-confidence, as if I've invited in the demons which have given me so much fucking grief over the years. I've been fantasizing about creating a new type of venue in which to pour my energy, but maybe it was a pipe dream (literally), that seems so do-able and promising in the euphoria, but then becomes riddled with doubt and ennui once the high wears off. I'm experiencing that in a big way at the moment, and the fact that I've arranged for a lunch date with a guy I know who is an expert promoter, it's all starting to turn into 'what was I thinking, I'm not ready, what's the use?' energy. And I HATE that fucking energy, yet here it is again.... Hmmmm another 'blessing'? I'm sure that it is.
For one thing, using marijuana to get inspired with new ideas flies in the face of 'walk down the middle, let it come and let it go' which was written under the influence. Hmmm, how's that for a knot? It's a mobius strip of understanding, the exception that proves the exception, or something equally obscure. In other words, I take a toke, I get inspired, I write a song that has major resonance, the song is about choosing the middle way yet it was inspired by the non-middle way. (and now my brain is starting to tie itself into knots. But damn, they're interesting knots. And how's this for 'weird', Every time I try and type the word 'knot', I mis-type it and spell 'know' by accident. It's a great Freudian typo and 'no I'm not' stoned... get it? know I'm knot... (but hell, I might as well be, the way my mind is operating.
Writing is so awesome, and it is clearly a great strategy for processing this life I'm living. It's my meditation, as I've never been one to spend a lot of time in stillness and concentration on the breath. It just doesn't draw me (there's a little play on words that the 'breath doesn't draw me'), or does it? Or do I draw a breath. OK dude, try and slow down, your mind is on overdrive.
And now that I'm maybe a half hour into this post, I can see how the act of writing and thinking bestirs all kinds of physiological and mental changes, like a self-alchemy of sorts. I've got some adrenaline pumping, perhaps a remnant of wanting to kill the canoe thief, but it's got a different color to it at the moment, like my body wants to go and get some exercise. And thought I'm not feeling particularly confident at the moment, especially about this lunch date coming up, the energy has surely shifted and I'm not stuck in the swirl of 'what's the use'. I have some mojo to read what I wrote yesterday, and see if I can conjure up the feeling and the 'want to' to take it to the next step. That's an improvement.
So let's wake up, get in the shower, make some noodle soup (which I've been enjoying) and then go do that gig in Pleasant Hill this morning from 8-10am. After that there is a little time to prepare for the meeting, then hopefully get a rest before driving 90 minutes to Tigard for a library gig this evening. It's a busy day, and I need my strength and focus. Walk down the middle, let it come and let it go....
In her last email, she was asking me for clarity, 'Am I waiting for you'?, and I get the sense that maybe she's got something simmering with the next guy, and is looking for the green light. I gave it to her, and to myself, because from this distance, come on, let's be real, I know that I don't have it in me to wait for her, not with all the uncertainty about who she is, but more with the certainty of who I am, a guy who likes women and doesn't seem to have the monogamy gene anywhere nearby. I told her that she's free, I'm free, and not because I don't love her. It's because I'd rather lose her than be in a position in which I thought I had to lie to cover up who I am.
So there's some 'letting go' that is happening, and it's not too pleasant. When she called me up and described where she'd been, (out drinking til dawn with some guy) my heart started beating really fast, kind of like it's wanting to do now. Feels like a primal jealous reaction that would trump any brilliant justifications about distance and timing and all the other stuff we amuse ourselves with. This is more basic, 'somebody is stealing my canoe... KILL' (It's a sickening feeling, but I'm gonna 'let it come and let it go' which is part of the hook for a song that came to me the other day. That line feels really good to me, along with the line that precedes it, 'Gonna walk down the middle, let it come and let it go'. It's a distillation of the Buddhist energy that I've been working with for the past couple of months. Keep to the middle way, experience the feelings, but don't hang on to them. Ah what a blessing, I got to practice what I preach (he said sarcastically). But it's true, and it is a blessing, even if it's running crimson... (breathe, motherfucker)
Between the M news and some other lousy personal interactions, mostly self-inflicted, I'm finding myself with low self-confidence, as if I've invited in the demons which have given me so much fucking grief over the years. I've been fantasizing about creating a new type of venue in which to pour my energy, but maybe it was a pipe dream (literally), that seems so do-able and promising in the euphoria, but then becomes riddled with doubt and ennui once the high wears off. I'm experiencing that in a big way at the moment, and the fact that I've arranged for a lunch date with a guy I know who is an expert promoter, it's all starting to turn into 'what was I thinking, I'm not ready, what's the use?' energy. And I HATE that fucking energy, yet here it is again.... Hmmmm another 'blessing'? I'm sure that it is.
For one thing, using marijuana to get inspired with new ideas flies in the face of 'walk down the middle, let it come and let it go' which was written under the influence. Hmmm, how's that for a knot? It's a mobius strip of understanding, the exception that proves the exception, or something equally obscure. In other words, I take a toke, I get inspired, I write a song that has major resonance, the song is about choosing the middle way yet it was inspired by the non-middle way. (and now my brain is starting to tie itself into knots. But damn, they're interesting knots. And how's this for 'weird', Every time I try and type the word 'knot', I mis-type it and spell 'know' by accident. It's a great Freudian typo and 'no I'm not' stoned... get it? know I'm knot... (but hell, I might as well be, the way my mind is operating.
Writing is so awesome, and it is clearly a great strategy for processing this life I'm living. It's my meditation, as I've never been one to spend a lot of time in stillness and concentration on the breath. It just doesn't draw me (there's a little play on words that the 'breath doesn't draw me'), or does it? Or do I draw a breath. OK dude, try and slow down, your mind is on overdrive.
And now that I'm maybe a half hour into this post, I can see how the act of writing and thinking bestirs all kinds of physiological and mental changes, like a self-alchemy of sorts. I've got some adrenaline pumping, perhaps a remnant of wanting to kill the canoe thief, but it's got a different color to it at the moment, like my body wants to go and get some exercise. And thought I'm not feeling particularly confident at the moment, especially about this lunch date coming up, the energy has surely shifted and I'm not stuck in the swirl of 'what's the use'. I have some mojo to read what I wrote yesterday, and see if I can conjure up the feeling and the 'want to' to take it to the next step. That's an improvement.
So let's wake up, get in the shower, make some noodle soup (which I've been enjoying) and then go do that gig in Pleasant Hill this morning from 8-10am. After that there is a little time to prepare for the meeting, then hopefully get a rest before driving 90 minutes to Tigard for a library gig this evening. It's a busy day, and I need my strength and focus. Walk down the middle, let it come and let it go....
Come to the cabaret....
I've got some really strong energy going lately and it's pushing me towards the creation of a new type of venue. I guess I think of it in terms of 'what is the perfect venue for me to play in (and direct in)? Well, it would be a lot of things, as would most accurately represent the layered life experience we get to participate in circa 2011.
Wouldn't it be great to develop a venue that is about cross-fertilization, rather than separation. I'm interested in Latin Music, in spiritual music, in dance, in group process, in Spanish (and other) languages, in show tunes and classic American Song Book material, in travel, in story telling, in education, musical and otherwise, in harmony, in poetry, and in creativity. I'd like to found a place where I could ply my trade, bring people together, make it funny and live and healing and musical.
So what is the goal really? So far it's about me me me and that doesn't feel complete. What is the public service that I hope to help provide? (note the new and humbler language) (perhaps a bit 'craven' (love that word), but hey, small steps, right?)
Wow it's an interesting thing to really consider, what is the goal? Because my mind went to a place that was more visual than usual. And it was about 'light'. There is a mystical piece and that's what I'm going for. I want to bring some light into the world, and it comes with sound and intention and humor and people playing
together.
Maybe I could try and write an outline for what a gathering might contain. Then fill in the blanks (like a puzzle?) and voila, let's do it. So here goes, and why does it feel like I'm at a major crossroads, and what follows seems very important. Its' got that sense of 'I've been waiting a long time for this' followed by 'don't fuck it up'... but that's just mind games, so... moving on.
So here's the gathering and what do they need?
A true story that touches...
A presentation in another language
Songs to sing together
A chance to connect with people they don't know Yeah, I've got something to say about that. What a great feature that would be. You show up at this thing and there is a structure for meeting new friends. It's pretty easy to do if folks are willing, and yes, they're willing
A dance presentation to live music
A guest artist
So what's the venue? Need to get some intimacy so maybe tables aren't the thing. A church space? The thing feels a little church like to me, at least my spirit would be activated in a setting like this. And what's the name of this thing? A name would help a lot. Come kind of cabaret 'spirit cabaret'?
Wouldn't it be great to develop a venue that is about cross-fertilization, rather than separation. I'm interested in Latin Music, in spiritual music, in dance, in group process, in Spanish (and other) languages, in show tunes and classic American Song Book material, in travel, in story telling, in education, musical and otherwise, in harmony, in poetry, and in creativity. I'd like to found a place where I could ply my trade, bring people together, make it funny and live and healing and musical.
So what is the goal really? So far it's about me me me and that doesn't feel complete. What is the public service that I hope to help provide? (note the new and humbler language) (perhaps a bit 'craven' (love that word), but hey, small steps, right?)
Wow it's an interesting thing to really consider, what is the goal? Because my mind went to a place that was more visual than usual. And it was about 'light'. There is a mystical piece and that's what I'm going for. I want to bring some light into the world, and it comes with sound and intention and humor and people playing
together.
Maybe I could try and write an outline for what a gathering might contain. Then fill in the blanks (like a puzzle?) and voila, let's do it. So here goes, and why does it feel like I'm at a major crossroads, and what follows seems very important. Its' got that sense of 'I've been waiting a long time for this' followed by 'don't fuck it up'... but that's just mind games, so... moving on.
So here's the gathering and what do they need?
A true story that touches...
A presentation in another language
Songs to sing together
A chance to connect with people they don't know Yeah, I've got something to say about that. What a great feature that would be. You show up at this thing and there is a structure for meeting new friends. It's pretty easy to do if folks are willing, and yes, they're willing
A dance presentation to live music
A guest artist
So what's the venue? Need to get some intimacy so maybe tables aren't the thing. A church space? The thing feels a little church like to me, at least my spirit would be activated in a setting like this. And what's the name of this thing? A name would help a lot. Come kind of cabaret 'spirit cabaret'?
Back on the Track
Got to get back on the track
In line with what I know
Try to walk down the middle
Let it come and let it go
May you have a gentle road
Good friends along the way
Can I help you carry that load
Where we going anyway?
It's been a long time coming
May be a long time gone
Gonna keep on trying
I know we're gonna carry on
In line with what I know
Try to walk down the middle
Let it come and let it go
May you have a gentle road
Good friends along the way
Can I help you carry that load
Where we going anyway?
It's been a long time coming
May be a long time gone
Gonna keep on trying
I know we're gonna carry on
Can't say I missed the mist
I guess I passed on the past
The sailors were massed at the mast
The cops were bussed to the bust
You can muss my heir, if you must
'Who would have guessed?', said the guest
I confessed at the fest
Got lost in the lust,
Doesn't rhyme but it has a thrust
You like to be trussed, I trust
We've been dissed into the dust
I insist... I've got is sussed
You can muss my hair, if you must
The sailors were massed at the mast
The cops were bussed to the bust
You can muss my heir, if you must
'Who would have guessed?', said the guest
I confessed at the fest
Got lost in the lust,
Doesn't rhyme but it has a thrust
You like to be trussed, I trust
We've been dissed into the dust
I insist... I've got is sussed
You can muss my hair, if you must
Searching for Equilibrium....
Well it's been a few days since I'm back in Eugene, and I guess the transition is going OK, though I'm far from ecstatic to be here. The weather's cold, I'm less than motivated, I miss my girlfriend, and if I wanted to, I could work up a nice little bummer of a depression. But I don't want to. I'd rather sit down and try some writing therapy and attempt to unearth today's truth. (either that or get drunk, which is funny, cause I rarely drink, though I opened a bottle of red wine and am developing a taste for it right about now. just took a multi-vitamin and washed it down with the pinot)
M just called me from the bar, which she's been doing a lot of. She misses me too, obviously, though I'm sure that this near daily communication will shift into something else. I don't want to lead her on in the belief that I'll be hanging out for 8 months waiting until our reconnection; I don't know how I could ever pull that off, what with me checking out every woman who comes into my vision field. Seems like the odds would more favor me meeting someone and doing the dance. But I definitely do not have all the answers about these type of things, and I think she's more on top of it than I am. M's go-to phrase is that 'nothing is perfect', and that's a pretty accurate assessment as far as I can tell. To think otherwise is to court disappointment.
My house is not quite feeling like home yet, as I'm sharing it with Megan, who is a young disabled woman here for the month on an internship at Mobility International. She moved a lot of things around, left some rotting food in the refrigerator, has made the place her own, as she was here for my two month hiatus, but I'm back now, and I want to feel like it's my place again. Time for a little conversation. Also time for me to do some clean up and get the place the way I need it in order to feel comfortable. That's front burner stuff. I need to feel grounded in the space.
That's the difference between being on the road and being at home. Here I feel all these external 'must-do' chores that are hanging over my head. Got to update the website, got to send off CD's to CD Baby, got to get the house cleaned up, got to line up gigs, got to record, got to up the level of my technology, got to create this cabaret scene which is in my head, got to got to got to... And when I don't do those things, or don't make progress, there is a level of self-hating stress that is nipping at my skin. Don't like it.
Well maybe it's time to start with the physical space, make a sweep through the house and find a way to feel good here. OK, can do, that's a plan, make sure you spend at least an hour at it.
M just called me from the bar, which she's been doing a lot of. She misses me too, obviously, though I'm sure that this near daily communication will shift into something else. I don't want to lead her on in the belief that I'll be hanging out for 8 months waiting until our reconnection; I don't know how I could ever pull that off, what with me checking out every woman who comes into my vision field. Seems like the odds would more favor me meeting someone and doing the dance. But I definitely do not have all the answers about these type of things, and I think she's more on top of it than I am. M's go-to phrase is that 'nothing is perfect', and that's a pretty accurate assessment as far as I can tell. To think otherwise is to court disappointment.
My house is not quite feeling like home yet, as I'm sharing it with Megan, who is a young disabled woman here for the month on an internship at Mobility International. She moved a lot of things around, left some rotting food in the refrigerator, has made the place her own, as she was here for my two month hiatus, but I'm back now, and I want to feel like it's my place again. Time for a little conversation. Also time for me to do some clean up and get the place the way I need it in order to feel comfortable. That's front burner stuff. I need to feel grounded in the space.
That's the difference between being on the road and being at home. Here I feel all these external 'must-do' chores that are hanging over my head. Got to update the website, got to send off CD's to CD Baby, got to get the house cleaned up, got to line up gigs, got to record, got to up the level of my technology, got to create this cabaret scene which is in my head, got to got to got to... And when I don't do those things, or don't make progress, there is a level of self-hating stress that is nipping at my skin. Don't like it.
Well maybe it's time to start with the physical space, make a sweep through the house and find a way to feel good here. OK, can do, that's a plan, make sure you spend at least an hour at it.
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