I had 'one of those' dreams last night... when the universe is making contact. I was walking in a field and there was a commotion below me on the right. A big iridescent dragonfly was trapped in some kind of vine and was struggling mightily to escape. It was about twice the normal size and throwing off magical blues and greens as it fought and fought for it's freedom. I wanted to help free it, but I was afraid to get bitten or stung, so I didn't get involved. The vine was shaking, lots of energy. It finally freed itself and flew right at me, I had to duck as it whizzed past, and though it didn't touch me, I felt a jolt in my core... one of those 'this is important' messages.
Coincidentally, (or not) I'm feeling quite sad about the prospect of leaving the emotional security of Chiang Mai, the connections, the friendships, the home. It's always hard to leave this place. Got a wistful song going in my brain as I prepare to depart. Night train to Bangkok and beyond in two days time.
Alone again, don't know if I can take it
My heart is trying not to cry
Need a friend, I hope that I can make it
Before the chance has passed me by
(that's not too good I realize... just wanting to write down the vocal cadence so I can return to it later...)
I think what's happening lately is a delayed grief about the end of my relationship with Oh. Both years when I left Chiang Mai, my heart was hurting at the separation from her, and I'm experiencing it again, even though the circumstances are completely different. We've spent very little time together, next to none, which is for the best, really. I know that I hurt her when I broke it off long distance, and she is quite rightly keeping her distance. Who could blame her. But the fact is that aside from the great physical connection we had the last two years, there was a big heart connection too, and I'm in touch with it strongly, now that I'm preparing to leave. In spite of all the cultural, practical and lifestyle differences between us, we did have a genuine heart to heart tie, and those things are hard to let go of, maybe even more-so on the road. I've been here before and I'm here again.
I think the dream represents the struggle in letting go. I think I am the dragonfly who is caught in a web, struggling and then breaking free into the next chapter. I'm OK, I know how to deal with stuff, sometimes you just have to feel it, cry about it, let it go. Or as the song says, 'Let it come and let it go'.
Rolling with the Finagler
Epic day in and around Chiang Mai, mostly rolling with my buddy John Fengler (aka the finagler). He got me out of my one square mile comfort zone, as we zipped about in his Audi, first a trip up to the lake where we had some lunch, then a visit to his favorite coffee place near there where I met the owner, a very artistic and one-of-kind Thai woman named 'Amy'. (I think he was trying to fix me up with her). Nice woman, not my type as she 'doesn't like kids' and takes care of 10 cats, while her mother has 20 more next door. Nice to meet you... see ya... A few errands around town, some sights I wouldn't have known about otherwise, and eventually a dinner stop at Yummy Pizza in the Hang Dong (I kid you not) district south of Chiang Mai.
As we entered, John told Tony (the boss) that I'm a good musician and Tony said, 'OK you play after this act that's on the stage now'. I tried to demur, but he wasn't having it. 'Don't even think about it, just play'. Tony is an Aussie muso (musician, Aussie style) who apparently sold a lot of records in Germany in the 90's and he now runs this place in Hang Dong, a good pizza restaurant with a great PA and a great vibe. Hey, if the boss says play, I play.
There was an electric guitarist and drummer who backed the last guy, and they hung out to play with me too. I did two songs, Same Same and Bhang Lassi and people loved it. I saw that our pizza had arrived so I had an excuse to get off the stage, but after dinner, Tony asked, and I did some more songs Boom Boom, Happy Finnish Girls and Weed and the Whiskey... all originals, all adult-ish in nature, and with the exception of Finnish Girls, which was too many chords for a first-time jam, they went over great. The guitarist, in particular, was super complimentary about the songs, asked if there was a CD of them, said that it would sell because the songs are great. He was a very good player, was laughing along and knocking out some nice solos, adding some bass lines, great to play with.
Turns out he's a bit of a famous person (in some circles, anyhow). Oliver Benjamin is the originator and founder of the 'Dudeism Society' which is a funny (and lucrative, for him) organization based on the 'philosophy' of the Big Lebowski' a movie role acted by Jeff Bridges in 1998, and something of a cult favorite. Benjamin is a writer, wise-guy, entrepreneur and tasteful guitarist, and he's got something pretty clever going on with his 'society'. And it's paying the bills. You can poke around at www.Dudeism.com
It's funny stuff.
After that gig, John and I headed to CU Corner where I ended up playing from 11 til midnight, and once again, having a lot of fun. Something is changing with my music, the more I play in the bars. Sometimes people are listening, other times I'm more in the background, but I don't mind. I'm just playing the songs as well and as freely as I can, polishing the craft. And it's working.... my voice is strong and I'm pretty freed up in terms of going off script, making stuff up, messing around with timing, just being in the moment with the music. Lots of compliments lately, more than usual, and I think it's a reflection of the change.
These two older hippie types (and by that I mean 'older than me') wandered by around midnight, and the guy asked what was up with all the guitars hanging on the wall. (Just like I did two years ago). They had just gotten to town after a super long day of travel and were exhausted. But he wanted to play a couple of songs, so I joined him. We weren't plugged in at that point as Taew has to be very mindful of the noise level and it was after midnight. We hit it off effortlessly on stuff like 'For What It's Worth', 'Good Lovin' etc. They were ecstatic, he said, 'I've been dying to jam for the last month'. Just after they left, I realized that I had met them on Koh Tau last month. It was a day I had walked over the hill to this snorkeling place and I asked is they would watch my stuff while I swam. We ended up talking for awhile, and yep, it's them. They're gonna get a big kick out of the coincidence when I see them tonight. Small world apparently.
Had a great talk with Toby about Cambodian travel. He's my linguistics buddy, speaks 16 languages, and he told me a great story about crossing the border between Thailand and Cambodia. It's a bit of a dicey situation, lots of scammers trying to convince you that you need such and such a paper when you really don't, but folks are confused and vulnerable, so the touts are raking it in. Plus things keep changing so there is some amount of confusion. Anyhow, Toby was going to stay in the border town for the night and was being hassled by various government types who are into their own border scams. As he tells it. "They were speaking Thai so I started talking to them in Thai, and they immediately switched to Khmer. So I started talking to them in Khmer, and they immediately shut up". They didn't know what to make of the guy with the American passport who could speak both of those languages. He was scam proof, and was later told by a young guy who was assigned to be his 'minder' that he had freaked them out. 'They can't fuck with you', the young guy gleefully told him. Yup, that's Toby all right.
Today I took my $100 guitar to the music store to have them install a combination pickup/tuner so I'll be able to plug into a PA wherever I am on the road. I dig this guitar, so it felt like a good $70 investment to have something to use electrically. And now it means that I'll more than likely bring it home as my second guitar. Thank you, Chinese slave labor. It's a great ax for the money, and I went with the higher quality Korean pickup so I'm hoping it works well and sounds good through a PA. I hear that there is a burgeoning music scene in Siem Reap (home of Angkor Wat), so I'll be equipped to get on stage and maybe even make a little money over there. I hear it's not as uptight for the foreigners to work musically in Cambodia. The Thais are pretty strict about this sort of thing, so whatever I make here is very under-the-table.
I have 4 more nights here in Chiang Mia before I grab the night train to Bangkok on Monday. It's been a great stay, this place is home. Conceivable I could return this way before the end of the trip in March, but that will reveal itself. But I have a great circle of folks here and I love this place.
As we entered, John told Tony (the boss) that I'm a good musician and Tony said, 'OK you play after this act that's on the stage now'. I tried to demur, but he wasn't having it. 'Don't even think about it, just play'. Tony is an Aussie muso (musician, Aussie style) who apparently sold a lot of records in Germany in the 90's and he now runs this place in Hang Dong, a good pizza restaurant with a great PA and a great vibe. Hey, if the boss says play, I play.
There was an electric guitarist and drummer who backed the last guy, and they hung out to play with me too. I did two songs, Same Same and Bhang Lassi and people loved it. I saw that our pizza had arrived so I had an excuse to get off the stage, but after dinner, Tony asked, and I did some more songs Boom Boom, Happy Finnish Girls and Weed and the Whiskey... all originals, all adult-ish in nature, and with the exception of Finnish Girls, which was too many chords for a first-time jam, they went over great. The guitarist, in particular, was super complimentary about the songs, asked if there was a CD of them, said that it would sell because the songs are great. He was a very good player, was laughing along and knocking out some nice solos, adding some bass lines, great to play with.
Turns out he's a bit of a famous person (in some circles, anyhow). Oliver Benjamin is the originator and founder of the 'Dudeism Society' which is a funny (and lucrative, for him) organization based on the 'philosophy' of the Big Lebowski' a movie role acted by Jeff Bridges in 1998, and something of a cult favorite. Benjamin is a writer, wise-guy, entrepreneur and tasteful guitarist, and he's got something pretty clever going on with his 'society'. And it's paying the bills. You can poke around at www.Dudeism.com
It's funny stuff.
After that gig, John and I headed to CU Corner where I ended up playing from 11 til midnight, and once again, having a lot of fun. Something is changing with my music, the more I play in the bars. Sometimes people are listening, other times I'm more in the background, but I don't mind. I'm just playing the songs as well and as freely as I can, polishing the craft. And it's working.... my voice is strong and I'm pretty freed up in terms of going off script, making stuff up, messing around with timing, just being in the moment with the music. Lots of compliments lately, more than usual, and I think it's a reflection of the change.
These two older hippie types (and by that I mean 'older than me') wandered by around midnight, and the guy asked what was up with all the guitars hanging on the wall. (Just like I did two years ago). They had just gotten to town after a super long day of travel and were exhausted. But he wanted to play a couple of songs, so I joined him. We weren't plugged in at that point as Taew has to be very mindful of the noise level and it was after midnight. We hit it off effortlessly on stuff like 'For What It's Worth', 'Good Lovin' etc. They were ecstatic, he said, 'I've been dying to jam for the last month'. Just after they left, I realized that I had met them on Koh Tau last month. It was a day I had walked over the hill to this snorkeling place and I asked is they would watch my stuff while I swam. We ended up talking for awhile, and yep, it's them. They're gonna get a big kick out of the coincidence when I see them tonight. Small world apparently.
Had a great talk with Toby about Cambodian travel. He's my linguistics buddy, speaks 16 languages, and he told me a great story about crossing the border between Thailand and Cambodia. It's a bit of a dicey situation, lots of scammers trying to convince you that you need such and such a paper when you really don't, but folks are confused and vulnerable, so the touts are raking it in. Plus things keep changing so there is some amount of confusion. Anyhow, Toby was going to stay in the border town for the night and was being hassled by various government types who are into their own border scams. As he tells it. "They were speaking Thai so I started talking to them in Thai, and they immediately switched to Khmer. So I started talking to them in Khmer, and they immediately shut up". They didn't know what to make of the guy with the American passport who could speak both of those languages. He was scam proof, and was later told by a young guy who was assigned to be his 'minder' that he had freaked them out. 'They can't fuck with you', the young guy gleefully told him. Yup, that's Toby all right.
Today I took my $100 guitar to the music store to have them install a combination pickup/tuner so I'll be able to plug into a PA wherever I am on the road. I dig this guitar, so it felt like a good $70 investment to have something to use electrically. And now it means that I'll more than likely bring it home as my second guitar. Thank you, Chinese slave labor. It's a great ax for the money, and I went with the higher quality Korean pickup so I'm hoping it works well and sounds good through a PA. I hear that there is a burgeoning music scene in Siem Reap (home of Angkor Wat), so I'll be equipped to get on stage and maybe even make a little money over there. I hear it's not as uptight for the foreigners to work musically in Cambodia. The Thais are pretty strict about this sort of thing, so whatever I make here is very under-the-table.
I have 4 more nights here in Chiang Mia before I grab the night train to Bangkok on Monday. It's been a great stay, this place is home. Conceivable I could return this way before the end of the trip in March, but that will reveal itself. But I have a great circle of folks here and I love this place.
Pom durn khon daio (I walk alone)
I walk a lonely road
The only road that I have even known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
(from Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day)
That song has been up for me the past few days, but rather than it be a source of depression, which is what it looks like in black and white, I am finding peace and comfort in the understanding that yeah, I do walk alone and it is home to me. (either that or a remarkable coincidence over a long and consistent time span). Nope it's no coincidence, it's me. Any time I travel with a woman, uh, that is a sure sign that it's break up time.
I've been in a real nice groove lately in Chiang Mai, doing a 5 mile walk around the old city every day, stretching in the park, swimming in the pool, writing, reading, composing some, playing live a fair amount, being quite introspective. I don't seem to fit into the typical fifty-something farang role here. If I did, it would look like the following: I'd ride everywhere on a scooter, wear flip flops, spend my time whoring, eating, drinking alcohol, bullshitting and plugged into my devices. Perhaps that's an oversimplification, but it's a lot of what I see.
I'd rather walk, tell ya the truth, I like the exercise, the visuals and the pace. I wear my walking shoes so I can get going fast when I want to, plus they are breaking in nicely. I'm living without a phone, which is kind of ridiculous, but feels right. (and cheap). That's part of it, the cheapness factor, I like the ability to keep it super simple and unencumbered (and economical). I find that I'm getting into my thoughts more, reading and writing more, being alone more and like I say, it's home.
I started working on a new song called 'More' and I think I'm on to something, a groove at least. I was messing around with some ideas, and the thought popped into my head that I haven't written enough in 6/8. So I went to that rhythm and it feels right. (and even if the lyrics are lousy, 6/8 is a cool beat, African in origin, it became a 'shuffle' when adopted into the blues and it's very 'round' and dance-able. It's got that swing feel so the words come out with a nice momentum. I was gonna go visit the internet this morning but I forced myself to hang out in the room until I wrote some lyrics, which I did. I'll go attack it again after my afternoon swim. Wow, tough life, huh?
I did buy a train ticket for next Monday afternoon, six days away, when I'll be taking the over-nighter to Bangkok and a dinner date with my Vietnamese friend Lan Anh who will be in town for a conference. From there I will catch a tourist van over the Cambodian border and into Siem Reap, home of Angkor Wat. It's nice to have a deadline to get out of here, otherwise I worry that I might just stay, and this doesn't feel like the year for that. Time to discover new vistas and try to take my mellow self out into the world more. We'll see if the newly centered version of myself can hold onto that in a more challenging environment.
And finally, a little musical lesson from last night, which I posted on Facebook. I'll copy it here for posterity...
Buddhist example... I went to visit my friend 'Apple' on his nightly music gig at the Guest House where he plays. We did a lot of playing together last year, and it was one of the highlights of my stay here. He's Thai, about my age, plays a white Fender Stratocaster, sings beautifully and is a prince of a guy. Even though his English is quite limited, I felt like I knew him quite well via the music. (ya know, 'universal language' and all that.... we have a GREAT musical connection).
So I'm listening to him play with his drummer friend, and then the drummer has to take off for another gig so Apple finishes the gig on his own. (it's casual, more or less background music). This Thai guy comes up and grabs the drum sticks and proceeds to play the most God awful, non-rhythmic, out of time sound that you could imagine. It wasn't too loud, he wasn't banging, he simply couldn't play drums. I couldn't have played that out of time if I tried. It was horrendous...
And there's Apple just doing his thing, keeping steady time, singing, smiling at me with a wink, as if it say, 'Rich, he not very good, huh, but it not matter'. If I were in his position, I'd have said, 'Dude, stop playing, what are you doing, get off the stage'. Apple smiles, plays the song, occasionally tries to follow the guy as he speeds up and slows down, but mostly keeps smiling and playing music. Wow...
The only road that I have even known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
(from Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day)
That song has been up for me the past few days, but rather than it be a source of depression, which is what it looks like in black and white, I am finding peace and comfort in the understanding that yeah, I do walk alone and it is home to me. (either that or a remarkable coincidence over a long and consistent time span). Nope it's no coincidence, it's me. Any time I travel with a woman, uh, that is a sure sign that it's break up time.
I've been in a real nice groove lately in Chiang Mai, doing a 5 mile walk around the old city every day, stretching in the park, swimming in the pool, writing, reading, composing some, playing live a fair amount, being quite introspective. I don't seem to fit into the typical fifty-something farang role here. If I did, it would look like the following: I'd ride everywhere on a scooter, wear flip flops, spend my time whoring, eating, drinking alcohol, bullshitting and plugged into my devices. Perhaps that's an oversimplification, but it's a lot of what I see.
I'd rather walk, tell ya the truth, I like the exercise, the visuals and the pace. I wear my walking shoes so I can get going fast when I want to, plus they are breaking in nicely. I'm living without a phone, which is kind of ridiculous, but feels right. (and cheap). That's part of it, the cheapness factor, I like the ability to keep it super simple and unencumbered (and economical). I find that I'm getting into my thoughts more, reading and writing more, being alone more and like I say, it's home.
I started working on a new song called 'More' and I think I'm on to something, a groove at least. I was messing around with some ideas, and the thought popped into my head that I haven't written enough in 6/8. So I went to that rhythm and it feels right. (and even if the lyrics are lousy, 6/8 is a cool beat, African in origin, it became a 'shuffle' when adopted into the blues and it's very 'round' and dance-able. It's got that swing feel so the words come out with a nice momentum. I was gonna go visit the internet this morning but I forced myself to hang out in the room until I wrote some lyrics, which I did. I'll go attack it again after my afternoon swim. Wow, tough life, huh?
I did buy a train ticket for next Monday afternoon, six days away, when I'll be taking the over-nighter to Bangkok and a dinner date with my Vietnamese friend Lan Anh who will be in town for a conference. From there I will catch a tourist van over the Cambodian border and into Siem Reap, home of Angkor Wat. It's nice to have a deadline to get out of here, otherwise I worry that I might just stay, and this doesn't feel like the year for that. Time to discover new vistas and try to take my mellow self out into the world more. We'll see if the newly centered version of myself can hold onto that in a more challenging environment.
And finally, a little musical lesson from last night, which I posted on Facebook. I'll copy it here for posterity...
Buddhist example... I went to visit my friend 'Apple' on his nightly music gig at the Guest House where he plays. We did a lot of playing together last year, and it was one of the highlights of my stay here. He's Thai, about my age, plays a white Fender Stratocaster, sings beautifully and is a prince of a guy. Even though his English is quite limited, I felt like I knew him quite well via the music. (ya know, 'universal language' and all that.... we have a GREAT musical connection).
So I'm listening to him play with his drummer friend, and then the drummer has to take off for another gig so Apple finishes the gig on his own. (it's casual, more or less background music). This Thai guy comes up and grabs the drum sticks and proceeds to play the most God awful, non-rhythmic, out of time sound that you could imagine. It wasn't too loud, he wasn't banging, he simply couldn't play drums. I couldn't have played that out of time if I tried. It was horrendous...
And there's Apple just doing his thing, keeping steady time, singing, smiling at me with a wink, as if it say, 'Rich, he not very good, huh, but it not matter'. If I were in his position, I'd have said, 'Dude, stop playing, what are you doing, get off the stage'. Apple smiles, plays the song, occasionally tries to follow the guy as he speeds up and slows down, but mostly keeps smiling and playing music. Wow...
The unhappy concept of 'more'
Had a very interesting chat yesterday with a 45-50 year old Canadian who had heard me play the night before at CU Corner. I was on my daily 5 mile walk around the old city and on the home stretch, I walk past a coffee shop and there's the guy. At first I thought, 'that looks like the guy from last night' and kept walking, but when he waved, I decided to stop and visit.
He was very complimentary about what I did on stage, especially the originals. I guess he liked the 'Canadian Blues' which I did when I found out he and his buddy were Canadians... never got a better reaction from that song, but there were plenty others that people enjoyed. He was talking about talent and that he likes to especially recognize artists and musicians because they are usually overlooked and not appreciated for what they bring to the world. I said, 'Give me a hundred dollars', like the wise-ass that I am.
You probably think he's going to come on to me at this point, but no, it didn't go that way. But we did have an in depth conversation about stuff, life's purpose, work, that sort of thing. If he is to be believed (and I have no reason to doubt him... after all, he liked my music), He is a financial analyst who is based in several places in the far east, Chiang Mai among them. Has an office in Jakarta and Seoul as well, a rich guy. Tells me that he grew up outside of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan and was the youngest commodities trader in the country when he started in high school. Started with cattle, which his family raised and went from there. He compared my gift for music with his gift for money. OK.
But I'm talking about him not because I want to paint a picture of a successful Canadian, but because there was one point in the conversation when I got that feeling of 'maybe I could write a song about that'. It wasn't a sure-fire 'there's a song there' moment, but something a bit more subtle. (and it doesn't have to do with alcohol, thank God). It's about the idea of 'more'. How people are always wanting more, particularly in the material realm, and how it doesn't make them happier. And along with that is the idea that 'I'm not enough... I should be more', which uh, I can relate to.
I had said to him that it sounds like he's rich enough to just kick back and enjoy life, but he corrected that assessment. If it's only about him, then it's a shallow life. He's got some fairly large-scale public service projects that he is part of, so that's where he wants to apply his fortune. Good on ya mate, and good on ya for engaging in a thought provoking conversation with me... and for maybe helping to germinate a seed that's been planted in my soul for a long time, a lifetime. It's been my experience that when I can write a song about something important, it's as though I've solved that particular problem, and can move on to the next puzzle piece. I've been wrestling with the notion of 'I should be more' forever, and I'm ready to come to terms with it, turn it into a song and then off we go...
He was very complimentary about what I did on stage, especially the originals. I guess he liked the 'Canadian Blues' which I did when I found out he and his buddy were Canadians... never got a better reaction from that song, but there were plenty others that people enjoyed. He was talking about talent and that he likes to especially recognize artists and musicians because they are usually overlooked and not appreciated for what they bring to the world. I said, 'Give me a hundred dollars', like the wise-ass that I am.
You probably think he's going to come on to me at this point, but no, it didn't go that way. But we did have an in depth conversation about stuff, life's purpose, work, that sort of thing. If he is to be believed (and I have no reason to doubt him... after all, he liked my music), He is a financial analyst who is based in several places in the far east, Chiang Mai among them. Has an office in Jakarta and Seoul as well, a rich guy. Tells me that he grew up outside of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan and was the youngest commodities trader in the country when he started in high school. Started with cattle, which his family raised and went from there. He compared my gift for music with his gift for money. OK.
But I'm talking about him not because I want to paint a picture of a successful Canadian, but because there was one point in the conversation when I got that feeling of 'maybe I could write a song about that'. It wasn't a sure-fire 'there's a song there' moment, but something a bit more subtle. (and it doesn't have to do with alcohol, thank God). It's about the idea of 'more'. How people are always wanting more, particularly in the material realm, and how it doesn't make them happier. And along with that is the idea that 'I'm not enough... I should be more', which uh, I can relate to.
I had said to him that it sounds like he's rich enough to just kick back and enjoy life, but he corrected that assessment. If it's only about him, then it's a shallow life. He's got some fairly large-scale public service projects that he is part of, so that's where he wants to apply his fortune. Good on ya mate, and good on ya for engaging in a thought provoking conversation with me... and for maybe helping to germinate a seed that's been planted in my soul for a long time, a lifetime. It's been my experience that when I can write a song about something important, it's as though I've solved that particular problem, and can move on to the next puzzle piece. I've been wrestling with the notion of 'I should be more' forever, and I'm ready to come to terms with it, turn it into a song and then off we go...
Stretch run in Chiang Mai... loose ends.
It's awfully darn comfortable here, not to mention 'cheap'. I can see why it would be easy to just say, 'what the hell, I have everything I need here, why travel?' Many many people do it that way, the snow birds who come year after year and make Chiang Mai their winter home. At the moment I'm into a very mellow groove, walking, swimming, cappuccino, reading, music and delicious food. (And I could live quite comfortably for $12 a day, everything included. The reason it's so cheap is that I don't drink, don't smoke, don't partake of the 'adult opportunities'. Why leave? Why deal with buses, trains, visas, backpacks, beggars (which I here are omnipresent in Cambodia), loneliness, danger (maybe), and all the uncertainty of the road? Because I want to, plain and simple.
I've been checking off the items that are keeping me here, and today I'm in the midst of spending some time with Oh for the first time in the two weeks I've been here. Sunday is her day off and we made plans to meet, have a meal or whatever, talk and get some 'closure'. That last one is my agenda, I don't know that it's part of the landscape here, but I want to feel some sense of completion. We met at 3pm at a restaurant, she showed up exhausted, could hardly keep her eyes open. 'What you want to talk about?' Uh nothing at the moment. Are you hungry? She had a couple of coffees to wake up and I asked if I could buy her a massage. She was resistant... 'Nothing free, Richard'. like I was using the offer as a hook. Oh yeah, she's charming first thing in her morning.
But she's hurting, working very hard, consistent back and shoulder pain, so it made me happy to see her get the massage that she needs. I got a one hour massage and she is in the middle of her two hour massage, God bless her. She deserves it. We'll grab some food afterward and then say goodbye. Feels right, I want to do something nice for her. So Mr Big Shot is forking out $15 (for both massages... plus whatever tip she wants to give her masseuse). I splurged with a $3.50 tip for mine, it was a great massage.
I got a message from Lan Anh, my Vietnamese friend, who tells me that she's going to be attending a conference in Bangkok in about a week's time, and if I'm there, we could visit. That would be really cool, so my inclination today is to plan on a trip to Bangkok, one or two nights there, a visit with my friend, and then a cross border van ride to Siem Reap in Cambodia. Siem Reap is the home of Angkor Wat, one of the true wonders of the world, and that will be my first stop in the country. So if things hold to form, I'll have about a week here to enjoy this paradise, book a train ticket, then get the laundry done, pack it up and hit the road.
Oh seems OK, not bitter toward me for breaking up with her. She went through some heartache, I'm gathering, but seems beyond it and into her life... hard work, fighting off the guys, smoking and drinking and saving the day for Taew, who needs her badly. In our brief conversation, Oh said that 'we are in two different worlds, I smoke and drink, and you don't'. I think she's fundamentally right. It's a relief to just let her do her thing, not have any attachment to any behavioral outcomes, because it wouldn't work anyway. People have to do it the way they do it. Live and let live. I'm feeling the closure piece taking shape.
I've been checking off the items that are keeping me here, and today I'm in the midst of spending some time with Oh for the first time in the two weeks I've been here. Sunday is her day off and we made plans to meet, have a meal or whatever, talk and get some 'closure'. That last one is my agenda, I don't know that it's part of the landscape here, but I want to feel some sense of completion. We met at 3pm at a restaurant, she showed up exhausted, could hardly keep her eyes open. 'What you want to talk about?' Uh nothing at the moment. Are you hungry? She had a couple of coffees to wake up and I asked if I could buy her a massage. She was resistant... 'Nothing free, Richard'. like I was using the offer as a hook. Oh yeah, she's charming first thing in her morning.
But she's hurting, working very hard, consistent back and shoulder pain, so it made me happy to see her get the massage that she needs. I got a one hour massage and she is in the middle of her two hour massage, God bless her. She deserves it. We'll grab some food afterward and then say goodbye. Feels right, I want to do something nice for her. So Mr Big Shot is forking out $15 (for both massages... plus whatever tip she wants to give her masseuse). I splurged with a $3.50 tip for mine, it was a great massage.
I got a message from Lan Anh, my Vietnamese friend, who tells me that she's going to be attending a conference in Bangkok in about a week's time, and if I'm there, we could visit. That would be really cool, so my inclination today is to plan on a trip to Bangkok, one or two nights there, a visit with my friend, and then a cross border van ride to Siem Reap in Cambodia. Siem Reap is the home of Angkor Wat, one of the true wonders of the world, and that will be my first stop in the country. So if things hold to form, I'll have about a week here to enjoy this paradise, book a train ticket, then get the laundry done, pack it up and hit the road.
Oh seems OK, not bitter toward me for breaking up with her. She went through some heartache, I'm gathering, but seems beyond it and into her life... hard work, fighting off the guys, smoking and drinking and saving the day for Taew, who needs her badly. In our brief conversation, Oh said that 'we are in two different worlds, I smoke and drink, and you don't'. I think she's fundamentally right. It's a relief to just let her do her thing, not have any attachment to any behavioral outcomes, because it wouldn't work anyway. People have to do it the way they do it. Live and let live. I'm feeling the closure piece taking shape.
Characters
That's one of the great things about hanging in Chiang Mai, the cast of characters who you bump up against at every turn. I just had dinner with John, an 85 year old, white-bearded American guy, based out of Chico, CA, or rather 20 miles out of Chico, winters in Chiang Mai, walks five miles a day, takes care of himself because, as he says, "if I can't get around, I can't keep coming back here. I need to be able to put my backpack on and go". I had met him briefly a week or so ago at my favorite street restaurant, and when I showed up there this evening, he was eating alone and I asked if I could join him. We spent a nice dinner together talking about life and choices and happiness. When he asked me a second time where I lived (I had told him Eugene a few minutes before), I said, 'short term memory not working too well?' in a friendly bantering way. He said, 'My short term memory was great when I was lying a lot, now I don't need it as much' or words to that effect.
And that launched us into a nice conversation about all kinds of stuff, values, choices etc. He ended up being very complimentary toward me, saying that I'm on the right path, he could tell just from my energy. It felt really nice to get that kind of acceptance from a stranger, but then again, who's to say who is a stranger. This felt like one of those spirit type connections. We're on a similar run actually, walking every day, eating well, swimming daily, he's in a place with a pool as well... but mostly just having a positive attitude, enjoying the gifts, staying open.
From there I went to my favorite bookstore 'The Lost Bookshop' which is run by George, a witty, sarcastic Irishman who has a million stories and likes the give and take. He's probably in his sixties, has good music on in his shop, and knows the business inside out. Great books all over the place, well organized and you could spend a lot of time there. I buy them, read them and then return them for half of the cover price. But the attraction is George. It's like hanging out in a pub, minus the alcohol. There's a level of intelligence and wit that is hard to top. Lots of smiles when we talk and banter. He's got a bit of a maudlin sense, as would befit an Irish wit. He's also recommended lots of books which I've enjoyed reading. Quite the resource.
Hung out with my friend Toby a few days ago, and he took me on a bike tour of some of the great temples of Chiang Mai, he knows a lot about a lot, and it was fantastic. Toby is an American living here with his girlfriend Nuna (Thai). He teaches English for money and they are just making do, but pretty calm about it all. Toby studied linguistics at the U of Washington and speaks about 16 languages. He'll spend some free time studying flash cards in Mandarin, keeping sharp. But what totally turns him on is these international virtual reality computer games that he plays weekly with his friends from around the world. And when I saw him in action on his computer, it was like, Wow dude, you are a wizard. He helped me upload some of the photos from our bike tour and his girlfriend's computer was going too slow so he plugged in this and switched to that and reformatted this and downloaded that at lightning speed. 'Yeah, I'm a computer geek', he explained. No dude, you're a wizard. (and a pal)
And that launched us into a nice conversation about all kinds of stuff, values, choices etc. He ended up being very complimentary toward me, saying that I'm on the right path, he could tell just from my energy. It felt really nice to get that kind of acceptance from a stranger, but then again, who's to say who is a stranger. This felt like one of those spirit type connections. We're on a similar run actually, walking every day, eating well, swimming daily, he's in a place with a pool as well... but mostly just having a positive attitude, enjoying the gifts, staying open.
From there I went to my favorite bookstore 'The Lost Bookshop' which is run by George, a witty, sarcastic Irishman who has a million stories and likes the give and take. He's probably in his sixties, has good music on in his shop, and knows the business inside out. Great books all over the place, well organized and you could spend a lot of time there. I buy them, read them and then return them for half of the cover price. But the attraction is George. It's like hanging out in a pub, minus the alcohol. There's a level of intelligence and wit that is hard to top. Lots of smiles when we talk and banter. He's got a bit of a maudlin sense, as would befit an Irish wit. He's also recommended lots of books which I've enjoyed reading. Quite the resource.
Hung out with my friend Toby a few days ago, and he took me on a bike tour of some of the great temples of Chiang Mai, he knows a lot about a lot, and it was fantastic. Toby is an American living here with his girlfriend Nuna (Thai). He teaches English for money and they are just making do, but pretty calm about it all. Toby studied linguistics at the U of Washington and speaks about 16 languages. He'll spend some free time studying flash cards in Mandarin, keeping sharp. But what totally turns him on is these international virtual reality computer games that he plays weekly with his friends from around the world. And when I saw him in action on his computer, it was like, Wow dude, you are a wizard. He helped me upload some of the photos from our bike tour and his girlfriend's computer was going too slow so he plugged in this and switched to that and reformatted this and downloaded that at lightning speed. 'Yeah, I'm a computer geek', he explained. No dude, you're a wizard. (and a pal)
Pushed my buttons...
I had a very interesting interaction the other night, pushed my button in a big way and I feel like exploring it some. I was at the CU, had just played a two hour set with a young Russian guitarist, we did well, people liked it. So I was hanging around, and after a while, I grabbed a guitar and started strumming in the street, seeing if there was energy for a little singing or whatever. This young guy gravitates in my direction, and we start improvising a little conversation on top of the basic 'Heart and Soul' progression. C Am Dm G7.
We're talking/singing about where we're from, what's going on etc, and this kind of jam is right up my alley, I could do it all day. This guy is 27, comes originally from Tatarian Republic which was a small part of the USSR (How come I never heard of it?), then he grew up in Germany. So he looked Eurasian, almost Turkish, but his accent was German, so it was difficult for me to get a read on him. I'm usually good at deciphering accents, but the difference between what he looked like and what he sounded like was a bit confusing. But whatever.
Now he wants to play some guitar with me and he starts messing around with a guitar. Naturally I quickly make an assessment of where he's at musically so I'd know how to proceed. He's very rough, a beginner, not a great sense of rhythm, unpredictable, will start with a known chord, then 'jam' into some uh nonsensical changes, chords that don't exist. In other words, very had to play with, at least for a person like me. I said, how bout D Em A7 D (a super simple progression that we could lock in on and have some fun with.... so I thought). He says something like 'Why do you want to tell me what to do, what? it has to be a teacher/student relationship? I play music for twenty years, man, why don't you just play' In other words, I pushed his buttons, and he reacted defensively and accusingly.
For some reason the combination of hostility and terrible musicianship pissed me off and I came right back at him. I said something disparaging about his alleged twenty years of guitar, but the gist of what I said is that 'I'm your teacher, I'm here to help you, and if you can't see that.... that's on you, friend'. (I might have left out the 'friend' part. He came back with something about 'Just play man, be free, I play with lots of people'. And I come back with the argument that real 'freedom' in music comes from knowing the rules and then stepping into the zone. It's not just flailing away.
We tried again, and he said, OK, I try to follow you... so I slipped into the teacher role and we were making some progress, but it was tentative. He tries a solo and then never comes back to the chords to give me a chance to step out. Basic stuff, really, but if no one tells you, ya don't really know. So I tell him and he's resistant, and we start again with the arguing, and once again this kid pissed me off. He definitely has 'issues' and I definitely have a desire (need?) to control the situation, especially in the musical context. I get very serious when it comes to this stuff. This is what I do, this is what I think about, this is what I give, and if there is some snarky little fuck who needs what I'm offering, but doesn't recognize it or recognize me, that makes for a volatile situation. So I came back at him again, was very direct. He goes into his rap and I tell him he's full of crap, he's wrong. I'm not usually the type to engage like that, but there was something in his attitude that stirred me up, so I engaged.
We tried again with limited success. I'm trying to tell him that when you play music with someone, you have to be solid, got to play 4 beats to the measure, switch chords at the right time, be there. He tried, he could do it, but his lack of 'talent', the fact that it didn't come too easily made it that much easier for him to slip into his defensive posture and turn the tables into 'why are you so egotistical, why you have to be in control'. Eventually I figured 'fuck it', not worth the trouble, and my desire to help was replaced by my desire to end the interaction. If you're not ready to learn something, fine, good luck. We shook hands, he said that he learned something, he is always learning something blah blah blah, end of story...
The kid is right of course... I do have the tendency to assume the teacher role in music. Why do I have to be in control? Good question. I just do, when it comes to this stuff. Maybe it's ego, some of that is true, but I think more of it has to do with a genuine desire to help someone grow with music. If you can learn some simple truths about music, then things open up in a big way. And I have a compulsion to teach those things.
Last night there was a similar situation. Some 50 year old Brit was in the bar at 1 in the morning, playing along with the stereo. I grabbed a guitar and asked if he wanted to play a song or two. He was also a beginner, a little farther along than the kid, but still pretty shaky. I said, how bout something simple like D Em A7 D. We're doing pretty good, jamming on 'Island in the Sun' to that progression. And then interestingly, the kid comes wandering by and sits down at an adjoining table. So he's listening to our interaction. And yeah, I assumed the teacher role, chose what to play, because, uh, I'm a freaking expert at this stuff. We played for about a half hour and the Brit is shaking my hand saying, 'That was really fun, mate. nice jamming with you'. While the kid is likely thinking 'what a control freak!' Oh well, life in the big city.
He did get me thinking which is a good thing. Unfortunately, most of what I think is, 'Grow the fuck up'. There ya go.
We're talking/singing about where we're from, what's going on etc, and this kind of jam is right up my alley, I could do it all day. This guy is 27, comes originally from Tatarian Republic which was a small part of the USSR (How come I never heard of it?), then he grew up in Germany. So he looked Eurasian, almost Turkish, but his accent was German, so it was difficult for me to get a read on him. I'm usually good at deciphering accents, but the difference between what he looked like and what he sounded like was a bit confusing. But whatever.
Now he wants to play some guitar with me and he starts messing around with a guitar. Naturally I quickly make an assessment of where he's at musically so I'd know how to proceed. He's very rough, a beginner, not a great sense of rhythm, unpredictable, will start with a known chord, then 'jam' into some uh nonsensical changes, chords that don't exist. In other words, very had to play with, at least for a person like me. I said, how bout D Em A7 D (a super simple progression that we could lock in on and have some fun with.... so I thought). He says something like 'Why do you want to tell me what to do, what? it has to be a teacher/student relationship? I play music for twenty years, man, why don't you just play' In other words, I pushed his buttons, and he reacted defensively and accusingly.
For some reason the combination of hostility and terrible musicianship pissed me off and I came right back at him. I said something disparaging about his alleged twenty years of guitar, but the gist of what I said is that 'I'm your teacher, I'm here to help you, and if you can't see that.... that's on you, friend'. (I might have left out the 'friend' part. He came back with something about 'Just play man, be free, I play with lots of people'. And I come back with the argument that real 'freedom' in music comes from knowing the rules and then stepping into the zone. It's not just flailing away.
We tried again, and he said, OK, I try to follow you... so I slipped into the teacher role and we were making some progress, but it was tentative. He tries a solo and then never comes back to the chords to give me a chance to step out. Basic stuff, really, but if no one tells you, ya don't really know. So I tell him and he's resistant, and we start again with the arguing, and once again this kid pissed me off. He definitely has 'issues' and I definitely have a desire (need?) to control the situation, especially in the musical context. I get very serious when it comes to this stuff. This is what I do, this is what I think about, this is what I give, and if there is some snarky little fuck who needs what I'm offering, but doesn't recognize it or recognize me, that makes for a volatile situation. So I came back at him again, was very direct. He goes into his rap and I tell him he's full of crap, he's wrong. I'm not usually the type to engage like that, but there was something in his attitude that stirred me up, so I engaged.
We tried again with limited success. I'm trying to tell him that when you play music with someone, you have to be solid, got to play 4 beats to the measure, switch chords at the right time, be there. He tried, he could do it, but his lack of 'talent', the fact that it didn't come too easily made it that much easier for him to slip into his defensive posture and turn the tables into 'why are you so egotistical, why you have to be in control'. Eventually I figured 'fuck it', not worth the trouble, and my desire to help was replaced by my desire to end the interaction. If you're not ready to learn something, fine, good luck. We shook hands, he said that he learned something, he is always learning something blah blah blah, end of story...
The kid is right of course... I do have the tendency to assume the teacher role in music. Why do I have to be in control? Good question. I just do, when it comes to this stuff. Maybe it's ego, some of that is true, but I think more of it has to do with a genuine desire to help someone grow with music. If you can learn some simple truths about music, then things open up in a big way. And I have a compulsion to teach those things.
Last night there was a similar situation. Some 50 year old Brit was in the bar at 1 in the morning, playing along with the stereo. I grabbed a guitar and asked if he wanted to play a song or two. He was also a beginner, a little farther along than the kid, but still pretty shaky. I said, how bout something simple like D Em A7 D. We're doing pretty good, jamming on 'Island in the Sun' to that progression. And then interestingly, the kid comes wandering by and sits down at an adjoining table. So he's listening to our interaction. And yeah, I assumed the teacher role, chose what to play, because, uh, I'm a freaking expert at this stuff. We played for about a half hour and the Brit is shaking my hand saying, 'That was really fun, mate. nice jamming with you'. While the kid is likely thinking 'what a control freak!' Oh well, life in the big city.
He did get me thinking which is a good thing. Unfortunately, most of what I think is, 'Grow the fuck up'. There ya go.
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